I'm out of options

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I've struggled with anxiety my entire life and always struggle when a friend is upset with me, but I'm at a new low.

I've been getting really depressed lately and can barely function, and that was before we started fighting. As soon as my best friend moved to another place, she immediately threw me to the dirt for her roommate, ditching all of our pre established plans for her new roommate. She was the only one I felt I could truly trust, and I just got completely replaced. Her roommate is a pretty toxic and overall bad person overall, so that makes me feel worse about myself knowing I was pushed aside for someone with few redeeming qualities.

I struggle to cope when a friend is upset with me, and my mental health was already hanging by a thread. I'm almost out of money, and I'm in danger of losing my job and school due to being unable to function. My house is a mess. Almost nothing that used to make me happy has any effect anymore. And I've been going to therapy and doing everything I can for myself for as long as I can remember. My life was going wonderfully, but my mental health crashed and burned at the start of the month, and has only gotten worse. My sleep schedule that I worked for a long time to get to work has gone out the window, no matter what I try to do to fix it. I can barely take care of myself. I am not going to hurt myself or anyone else, but that doesn't mean I can tolerate the anxiety and depression any longer. Any advice on what else I can do?

The following is a list of the signs of trauma:

* Deer in the headlight frozen expression
* Paleness and racing heartbeat
* Terrified speechless
* Disruptive behavior
* Anger, irritability, mood swings, edginess
* Hyperactive
* Poor concentration
* Demonstrating poor impulse control
* Lethargic, lack of energy
* Depressed
* Shock, denial, or disbelief
* Confusion, feeling out of control
* Anxiety and fear
* Night terrors
* Guilt, shame and self-blame
* Withdrawing from others
* Feeling sad and hopeless
* Feeling disconnected or numb, spacey
* Hyper-focus on mortality or death
* Loss of appetite or overeating
* Obsessive-compulsive behavior
* Avoidance behavior

It seems like you are describing yourself in these terms. For an Aspie, stress is almost our middle name. Unvented stress will lead to trauma. You mentioned that you are undergoing therapy. But I wonder if it is the right type. You need therapy that is well focused on stress relief and stress management. As a result, I will recommend Somatic Experiencing. It primarily focuses on trauma and PTSD. You might begin the process by getting a copy of the book called "In an Unspoken Voice" by Peter A. Levine.

You mentioned therapy but I'm wondering if your seeing a psychiatrist too or are taking any psych meds. That might be worth a try in addition to the therapy if your not doing it already that is. But if you are your meds probably need to be adjusted. I would suggest trying Buspar for your anxiety. It's specially for anxiety & helps mine alot. It can be taken with most other psych meds. I would start thou with an antidepressant & Buspar or just the antidepressant & then adding Buspar when the antidepressant gets OK.