Perfectionism and Mental Disorders

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Yes, I am sorry if anyone feels annoyed by me asking this question yet again, but I thought it was appropriate to post in this forum rather than on another.

To begin, my sister and I are fed up with our mom exhibiting behavior associated with those who can be described as perfectionists. We are seeing counselors for our GAD, but our mother views us seeing counselors as bringing shame upon the family.

(GAD: Generalized Anxiety Disorder)

As to why we believe our mom may have a mental disorder herself by exhibiting perfectionist behavior:

-She often goes on rants whenever something in the house isn't kept clean and neat enough.

-Often backstabs people, ranging from co-workers, me, my sister, and a friend of my sister's who has been living with us since last summer.

-Often "plays the victim" whenever my sister and/or I try to reason with her in a situation where she may rant.

-She refers to us by derogatory terms as if we are not in her presence.

-Sometimes gives us the "silent treatment."

-Believes that everything has to be perfect in a certain way.

I am sorry if this isn't enough detail to go by, so what do you think?

Sounds exactly like my mom, except she isn't so much ashamed of mine and my brother's disabilities as she is exploiting it to get attention for herself.

I was going to say "sounds OCD" but the more I read, I started thinking "personality disorder." But you really can't diagnose anything by what you have reported so far; in fact, you can't diagnose anything if you don't have the appropriate credentials and opportunity to fully assess.

So you and your sister should settle for "it's mom's issue" and do the best you can to get your own lives in order.

I also forgot to mention that even though our mom tells me and my sister to always keep looking for work, whenever my sister or I find places of potential employment, our mom gets mad and yells at us!

Just yesterday, I was granted work for the summer and when I told my mom about it, she got mad and yelled at me.

I think you should just do what you want &/or feel you need to do & don't worry about your mom's opinion. You cant hit a moving target.

There is something called Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD).

With OCPD, the person is a perfectionist because they feel that perfect is the way things “should” be and often don’t think there is anything wrong.

With OCD, the person doesn’t want to perfectionist. They do it to prevent anxiety or “something bad” from happening. They usually realise that behaviour is not normal.

BTW When people say “I’m so OCD!” they usually are talking about symptoms more typical of OCPD.