Schizophrenic

Post Reply New Topic

I actually thought I was destined to be an apostle of Jesus Christ. I also believed that my alternate "destiny" was to be the antichrist. I have been diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia consistently by my latest psychiatrist for almost four continuous years. My screen name for this forum was based in delusion. I have been committed to a psych ward three times over the last twelve+ years. I'm not a genius; I have average intelligence.

I feel delusional right now. Anyway, the only way I can learn anything is through the rote technique. The average mind can recall 4-5 items when they are listed to be memorized. This is my capability. My working memory is ordinary.

I can be very fearful at times. I am always fearful while driving. Posting this thread makes me fearful.

Welcome to the club. I slipped into schizophrenia almost 9 years ago. 6 years were spent agonizing about how to bring order to the world as the independent hero born to challenge God and the course of the universe. Then one day I was sitting by the dinner table, watching a cup of coffee change shape before my eyes. That was my "whoa" moment - visual hallucinations - and I finally agreed to take my medicine as prescribed. It's been three years since, I'm partially recovered and life is much, much better without delusions.

My advice:
- Take the medicine.
- Take the medicine.
- Repeat.

Okay, thanks. I've been med-compliant since August of 2017. Before that, I was on medication, but I was constantly looking for ways to try to get out of taking it. Back in June of this year, I really messed up, but I realized it. I decided to get my psychiatrist's approval to stop taking my Invega 3 mg. He approved, but boy, did I really mess up. I stayed off that medication until August 16 of this year. By the time I began taking it again, it was too late; I had already relapsed significantly enough to prevent me from doing my schoolwork for an online class, which I registered for back in June. I am "taking" the class right now, but I am not doing well. I just can't do it. I concatenate that impediment/inability to stopping my Invega 3 mg back in June. Also, in August of this year, I decided to get my psychiatrist's approval to reduce my Zyprexa Zydis from 30 mg per day to 20 mg per day. Boy, was that a mistake too. The good news is that I realized the "adjustments" were mistakes on my part. I have finally abided to taking my meds in adequate doses, and hopefully, I will also realize that my psychiatrist knows better than me. After all, he's the one that went through medical school; not me. So I should not be the one doing the doctoring. He can see me objectively. Therefore, I should listen to him. Anyway, thanks for the reply.

I think it is perfectly okay to cooperate with your psychiatrist in little experiments with dosages - if you can decide at what doses you feel the best, stick to them.
Just ask your doc before any changes and turn back if the direction was wrong, just like you did.

It's been more than twelve years for me.