Worried I have BPD and that I'm misdiagnosed?

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Hi all,

I have recently posted another topic on this but this worry that I have Borderline Personality Disorder keeps coming back; it's become quite a big trigger for me. Please know I also have OCD tendencies and health anxiety, but I can't help but look for reassurance on this!!

I think I just need some more information and educating on BPD as there seems to be such as stigma surrounding it, which makes me a bit scared of it even though I don't want to be. I fit quite a lot of the criteria for BPD, all except impulsivity because I'm not a big drinker, have never done any drugs and I'm very good at controlling my impulses. I love structure and routine and find socialising really difficult, and don't think I could fake being happy for very long perhaps like a person with BPD could.

However, I've been watching videos of people with BPD and I can relate to so much of what they say. But I went to a psychiatrist just once and she said I don't have BPD, I have asperger's, but I'm just waiting for the official assessment and it's taking me so long and making me really worried.

Is it possible for Asperger's to look like BPD, even though it's not?

It's also frustrating (and I think this is why the trigger keeps coming back) because for some reason I seem to make friends very easily with people with BPD, as if I'm really drawn to them, as if I can see myself in them. Does this mean that I have it, as people tend to flock together if they're similar?

I've had a best friend, an ex-boyfriend, and another good friend I've made recently with it. Why is this, and is this normal for Aspies to make a lot of BPD friends? They all ended up being quite different from me though in quite important ways, as the ex and the old best friend were quite reckless and sometimes!!

Is there anyone with BPD on here who could give me some insight into what it's like to have BPD, and how it might be different from Asperger's? I'm just so worried I have a misdiagnosis!

Thank you

It's not that uncommon for Aspies(more so Aspie women) to be misdiagnosed with BPD. Aspergers tends to affect Aspie women differently than Aspie guys & experts tend to miss Aspergers in women as a result. I'm not an expert on how Aspergers affects women so I cant really explain the differences & similarities between BPD & Aspergers in women. It is also possible for Aspies to have BPD as a comorbid. I was diagnosed with both when I had my 1st appointment with my psychiatrist. I don't think I'd be diagnosed with BPD now but I had the symptoms a lot worse 15 years ago. I fell into a psychotic depression over my 1st realtionship falling apart(she was the 1st person I ever really related to & connected with) & I was very emotionally unstable. It's also not that uncommon for Aspies to get in romantic relationships with people who have BPD. I'm not really sure why but there might be some studies even. I know I tended to be more attracted to people with things like BPD but that's probably cuz I relate to it more since I've been through similar stuff. My current girlfriend is probably on the border of having BPD(her mom very likely has it a bit worse than her). She also very likely has Aspergers or at least a lot of symptoms of it(one of her brother's has been diagnosed with Aspergers since he was little & Asperges like BPD can sometimes run in families)

I'm no expert, but I have ASD my daughter is suspected BPD so I know a little.

The similarity between the conditions is difficulties with emotional regulation and vulnerability to mood disorders. I think emotional regulation issues may be more common amongst asperger females than males, but they're not recognised as a core symptoion of ASD, which may be why some women get the wrong diagnosis.

There are many differences between the conditions, however. With ASD there are sensory issues and/or hyperfocus and issues around social communication. Someone with ASD may avoid socialising at work, for example. People with BPD on the other hand often seek constant interaction with other people, because they have an unstable sense of self and rely on others to provide validation of who they are.

BPD is a difficult condition to live with but it's actually more treatable than ASD in some ways, so it's not the end of the world if you have it. Hope that helps, anyway.

Hi
I have both BPD and Aspergers, so one doesn't rule out the other. I was diagnosed with depression first, then aspergers and a few years later BPD as well.
There are a lot of similarities between those two diagnoses, and since both can differ in symptoms between different people that makes it very difficult.
You don't have to fit all the criterias to get a diagnosis and in my experience the saying about autism "if you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism" definitely fits BPD as well (and other diagnoses). You don't mention how you feel you fit the criteria, which symptoms you have, so it's difficult to give general advice.
I don't fit the stereotypical BPD person (not many truly do), for me it shows in different ways. If that is because I have Aspergers also, I don't know.

I don't think being drawn to BPD people means that you have it, but that's just what I think, I don't know if there is any research on that.

If you can relate to the symptoms of BPD, that's something you can work with. BPD is a diagnosis that can be "treated"(can't find a better word right now) with therapy or just you working on yourself. DBT therapy is very effective, and if you get a BPD diagnosis and work on the issues you have, your diagnosis will be removed if/once you no longer fit enough of the criteria to be diagnosed.
In short, try to relax. BPD is widely misunderstood and if you have it or don't, it's not the end of the world. And if you feel that you meet some of the criterias it could serve you well to learn some DBT skills to deal with the difficulties they give you.

I'm sorry, I feel that I'm rambling and not adding anything useful.

Edited to add
I read your other thread and I relate a lot to what you describe.

Try not to worry Bluegreenleaves. Whatever you have or don't have, you are still you. Think of a label as nothing more then a little information... Think of clothes. The label gives details of washing temperatures etc. It is not to say one item of clothing is faulty. It just means that one item may need treating differently. I am a fine one to talk as I usually rip off the labels on my clothes!
So know that you are appreciated and loved whatever label you have. Ok?

On the upside, BPD is a treatable condition and symptoms often decrease around middle age.

I avoided getting help for a long time because I was worried I had BPD but didn't feel like it was quite right, but once I did get help and a diagnosis that turned into full on fear that it was a misdiagnosis.

So I asked my clinical psychologist. She just laughed and said very emphatically, "trust me, you do NOT have a personality disorder".