OCD with Aspergers

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I was diagnosed ocd way before my asd diagnosis, but I am really just now learning about how complex ocd is. I had no idea it was way more than just me washing my hands over and over. Anyone else have ocd - I can honestly say that my darkest times have been caused by my ocd.

I had a trauma happen about three years ago now, and that triggered my ocd to spiral out of control. I am still recovering from that and deal with it on a daily basis.

I am now learning that my tendency to obsess over things and ruminate on conversations or interactions is more than likely linked to ocd as well. I have really harsh thoughts that just run on repeat in my mind. I hate them and I know they are not logical but I cant stop them.

I do have actual compulsions that I carry out, but also have thoughts that just run on repeat with no compulsion to satisfy them.

Anyone else suffer from pretty severe ocd - where it affects you on a daily basis? Or have struggled with this previously? I will have health insurance again on Jan 1st and I plan to seek out a therapist that specializes in ocd. This beast has ruined my life and I need to start living again.

Caffeine can exacerbate OCD.
Do you drink a lot of coffee or tea?
Do you eat a lot of chocolate?

I can give you a link about this if you want.

I do not drink caffeine at all in any form, or eat chocolate, or drink alcohol, or smoke anything, or do any drugs of any kind.

I haven’t received an official diagnosis, but after years of (ironically obsessive) research, I suspect I might have OCD as well.

The way you describe your obsessive thoughts is very similar to how I experience my own. It seems that some aspect of autism feed into OCDs mental loops. Living with obsessive and jarring thoughts stinks, I wish you the best in finding support and ways to regulate your symptoms

Interesting topic. I have quite a long experience with Asperger's and OCD.

When I was about 17 years old, in 2008 (at the end of that year), one of psychiatrists in foundation assoicated with autism and PDDs confirmed that I have "bookish case" of OCD, probably that psychiatrist prescribed risperidone for me, maybe it was due to "thinking about NLD" (NLD - nonverbal learning disability, NVLD) - I had "obsession" that in fact I have just a nonverbal learning disorder, not Asperger syndrome, a pervasive developmental disorder. I was "afraid" that I have just a learning disorder, not something "more severe". Above two months before the visit which I described earlier here I was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome (F84.5) in the same foundation. People who made that diagnosis had not (at least so many) doubts that I have AS.

Nearly 11 years later I had commission for social pension third time in my life. I got ruling of total incapacity of work for 5 years. In opinion (ruling) there was written about severe OCD in my case. I had diagnosis of AS also at the certificate for psychiatrist to the commission in Social Insurance Institution written by my psychiatrist with whom I had ambulatory visits regularly. I had also diagnosis of schizotypal disorder at the same time.

I started to get drugs for OCD when I was about 17 years old. I had OCD before 15th year of my life, I think. But I was taken to the psychiatrists first time only when I was about 17 years old. My OCD symptoms appear to be worse and worse with age. I started to have religious OCD when I was about 16. Earlier (since about 13th year of life or even earlier (but earlier they probably were relatively not so problematic in general life)) I had mostly "controlling compulsions", magical thinking. It was "funny" and looked stupid. If I remember well, I had no insight into my OCD symptoms associated with magical thinking and controlling compulsions when I was below 16 years old. I did not wonder if the compulsions are true or not, I just made them...

Since about 5 years I have obsessions associated with risk of infection or religious impurity (for example associated with pigs and their meat or even everything from their bodies). Now I wash my hands with soap after touching used socks or shoes. Compulsions associated with infection risk may be even more disabling in my life than those associated only with religion, like scrupulosity. I read that scrupulosity is not good spiritually, is not a merit and may cause suffering, for example in purgatory.

I have profound problems with examination of conscience and confessions. Maybe it is associated with poor executive functioning which is probably often found among individuals with PDDs. I made general confession about 18 times in my life, first in VI 2008 (and there were many to 2010 year). Last was rather in I 2017 (at the beginning of 2017 I had about 6 general confessions). My OCD is very problematic in religious area (Catholicism).

I drink caffeine a lot - cappuccino, instant tea which has fruity flavour, chocolate or cocoa, sometimes normal tea But I do not think that now I have worse OCD due to it. I got paroxetine regularly since about 4 years, now in dose of 40 mg for day (at morning).

I don't...

My intrusive thoughts, my obsessions and interests, my repetitive preferences or fixations and actions, my cyclical routines and my long for order...

I can relate with actions, urge and some obstructions of daily living...
Yet none of these traits I have are ever anxiety based.
I cannot relate with thoughts like 'if I don't do X, (insert negative outcome here)'.

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Thanks for support and writing about your story!

I definitely do not want to go to hell, to be punished for sins, especially by torment, larger suffering. My last confession and Holy Communion was about four months ago. I pray quite a lot last times (yesterday I managed to say 20 mysteries of the Holy Rosary, fo example, but mostly when standing or walking). Examination of conscience might appear to be just to difficult for me. Attending to sacraments is very problematic for me. I may think that I have never had valid confession and all my confessions in life were invalid or sacrilegious.

I read opinions that watching professional sports is spiritually bad or (even mortally) sinful, especially when they are played on Sundays or days at which believers have to go to the church. I read about (different forms of) sedevacantism, also about opinions that Mosaic Law is still valid (and we have to, for example, not work on sabbaths or not eat pork) and about islam, Quran (especially about numerical, literal or scientific miracles of Quran - the last ones appear to be the "weakest" for me, but they may be the most used by Muslims) and can have thoughts that Quran is literal Word of God and I will be sentenced to eternal torment when I reject it [I also read something about numerical and literal miracles associated with Bible]. I do not want to deprave or harm anyone who reads it!

I was diagnosed with schizotypal disorder first time at 27.01.2015 and at the beginning of 2016 I had diagnosis of schizophrenia (unspecified or paranoid) for some weeks. Since above three years I am constantly diagnosed with OCD, Asperger's and schizotypal disorder (in ICD-10 it is a mental illness located in the classification between schizophrenia (F20) and persistent delusional disorder (F22) as F21, not (just) a personality disorder like in DSM). Now I get two antipsychotic drugs (sulpiride and quetiapine), but in quite small doses. I also get paroxetine (against OCD) in relatively large dose of 40 mg daily (at morning).

I have severe ocd also; and mine is a really weird one and it's have such a phobia of sweating and smelling like sweat that I end up smelling myself over and over again to make sure i'm not sweating and smell good. And I actually put on so much deodorant on over and over again i actually end up sweating because of how much deodorant i put on and end up getting white marks all over my shirt. But i'm trying to work on it especially because I ended up getting this horrible rash on my armpits and around them that it was so painful when i put the deodorant on it was like the worst pain i had. So, I went to my doctor and she said it's a fungal infection caused by sweating that I had to get a steroid cream to help with the infection and redness; and i never want to deal with that again so i'm slowly trying to put only a little bit on not all around my armpit and on it instead of just putting it on my armpit. And instead of a scented antiperspirant/deodorant I went today and bought one that was just a fresh one and not a scented one that i usually get. So, hopefully it'll keep working. So, if anyone thinks there ocd is bad just read my post and you'll feel better.

My OCD was me worrying about stuff and the what ifs and making it hard for me to move on from situations that had upset me and constantly thinking about things.

I also drink a lot of caffeine and it hasn't made anything worse but I do experience caffeine withdrawal affects if I go a couple days without it.

From personal experience is there anyone that has been put on medication for ocd that really helps and what is the name of the medication that has helped you?