Social anxiety and noisy neighbours

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I have diagnosed social anxiety.

When I hear laughter, I assume it's directed at me. When I hear insults, I assume they're directed at me, or any criticism etc.

I'm autistic/sound sensitive and can't tune out noise. Maybe they're being quiet. But it all sounds really noisy. Even my deaf parents say it's loud.

My neighbours (in the summer) and their workmen (now) keep going out into their garden and talking/laughing/swearing loudly.

I know on a logical level that it's not what my subconscious/anxiety tells me it is but when they keep swearing, laughing etc it just makes me feel really intimidated.

Sorry , have known how that is , Add a incessantly barking dog and it’s enough to do any persons mind in , if they are not thoroughly prepared. Ear plugs were not adequate back then .

Inferior complex.

Turn up your own music , and earmuff s. . Practicing growling when you step out your door , practice smiling when walking through a businesses door when your out . .

I 100% get this. This is exactly what I experience too. Anytime I hear someone laughing, criticizing, or any hint of them being upset / angry / distressed about something, I assume it's somehow because of me or directed at me. When the anxiety is at a high enough level, I think this can even become psychotic-like.

Do you often experience "ideas of reference" ? For example, people sharing a meme online that you've never seen before and you start to think you are the dog-end of the inside joke?

I have diagnoses of schizoaffective disorder (depressive type) and OCD. I've been thinking that the schizoaffective disorder is a misdiagnosis. I think my psychotic symptoms could be explained by the fact that I was a heavy cannabis user in my mid- to late teens. I've never had the /kind/ of psychotic symptoms that are characteristic of schizophrenia-spectrum disorders; i.e., I've never had "odd" beliefs, extra-sensory perception, or telepathic beliefs. The persecutory ideas and ideas of reference I've had all seem to be centered around 'social anxiety content'. I think it's well-supported by research that anxiety can get psychotic or psychotic-like in extreme circumstances. OCD-spectrum disorders like anorexia and body dysmorphia can also have psychotic qualities. I've always known on an intellectual level that these ideas I've had are, in most cases, not accurate. If I were to be presented with proof or strong evidence that refutes the ideas, I'd feel reassured and wouldn't try to deny the evidence, but I feel like in my worst days I was more inclined to rationalize or explain away the proof. (E.g., they're just complimenting me because they feel sorry for me, or because they fear that I would go crazy on them).

Actual social anxiety diagnosed by a doctor which I'd have if I was a Hun or didn't like football because it's serious and real.

Exactly. Also, "inferiority complex" doesn't really explain anything specific or how to address these issues. It's just a blanket term that could probably describe /any/ insecurity whatsoever.

I'd imagine that if you were a Hun, your social anxiety would be centered on Hun values, such that you'd worry about not being "Hun-enough". Related note: I dislike American football, and I criticize it for glamorizing rough physical contact that could cause severe brain damage. I once mentioned that it wouldn't be so bad if it was converted to something like "flag" or "touch" football. A person who is really into American football culture might consider me a sissy or a whimp because of this, but this doesn't really bother me, because being a "football person" is not something I value.

A note about my last sentence: Even today, I still feel like any kind of reassurance is not good enough. There is always this thought in the back of my mind that the fear-relevant theory of mind I have is true. But for the most part, I have been more accepting of evidence and reasoning about the fears, and also somewhat more tolerant of the possible consequences /if the theories were true/. I attribute the latter to a change in my values.

For some of the fears, it is reasonable to believe that /if they were true/, people in my life wouldn't treat me the way they do and would probably be more noticeably afraid or crept out by me. But I'm trying to avoid thinking this way because it makes me hyper-vigilant / hyper-sensitive to social cues that could confirm or deny the legitimacy of the fear.

Hypervigilance can be a serious issue for most people especially I think if any type of ptsd is involved.

In my experience, it wouldn't be called 'inferiority complex' though. At least not in a 'you are a cliche' type dismissive way.

In any case, my neighbours currently are a similar background to me so it's not that kind of a clash. If anything, I have to fight against a sort of superiority complex when I hear them yelling loudly in their garden. It brings the tone of the neighbourhood down imo. They get drunk and chat loudly. But mum says I'm a snob if I point that out.

I feel unsafe when anyone is loud around me in my personal space. That was this Hun guy's fault cos he threatened me when I was a kid & we lived in flats. Most people are safer and more law abiding than he is but I get territorial over my own space & I don't like hearing things like loud laughter - that makes me insecure that it's me that they're laughing at somehow.

Ideally I'd live in a neighbourhood where there's no power struggles going on but if I feel like there is a power struggle, I want to be the top of it.

I worry that they're laughing at some kind of autistic behaviour of mine. I don't 'mask' at home, I act autistic. Or that they're laughing at me for living at home. I don't feel like that when I'm healthy. Just when my anxiety is low. Most of the time it doesn't even come in specific thoughts. It just comes in a discomfort around laughter way.

I'm in the process of moving into somewhere new (still family property and only a few streets away so it's legal covid wise) & it's less of a problem here. I only hear my new neighbours when they put out the bins. Still really loud in the yard & the first time I heard it I thought there was an intruder, but I've only had similar feelings to in summer when I was trying to lock my door & struggling & someone on the street was laughing.

It wasn't an intruder, mum came round and told me what it was and checked it out just in case. It's just the yards are quite small and close to each other so it sounds like it's in my yard when it's in theirs. I was prepared for it tonight when I heard the same noise. Anyway I lock up when I'm at home and when I'm out. My door is always locked unless I'm going through it or welcoming a visitor (atm my parents, in the future someone else who's texted beforehand).

Your hypersensitivity to sound is a well known feature that is often present in people with Autism Spectrum disorder and is detailed in the APA DSM-V under the sensory impairment symptom.

Sensory impairment comes in many ways, although the most common sensory impairment symptom is hypersensitive to sound, as well as an inability to filter out auditory sensory information when placed within a environment that has more than one source of auditory sensory information.

The actual hypersensitivity to auditory stimuli is called misophonia and is a real life condition that is known to audiologists.

Such sensory abnormalities are also noted within the framework for Sensory Processing Disorder, however, Sensory Processing Disorder is not a universally accepted disorder, many do not recognise this term / condition, so you may have a hard time getting diagnosed with this.

Occupational Therapists can advise you on some strategies that you may use to manage the symptoms of your condition.

Wearing noise cancelling headphones or earplugs that turn all frequencies down by 30 DB may help your sensitivity,
although not recommended to wear permanently as doing so can increase your sensitivity to auditory stimuli.

As for worrying about what people think, sure, i think we all do to some extent.
Perhaps being isolated increases your sensitivity to this type of problem as well.

There may be a CBT book or program that may help you with that.
Mindfulness meditation may also be used to help you get less distracted by unsettling thoughts.
Hope this info helps.

Also,
for your living space, it would be wise to try and get some good sound proofing fitted so that your neighbours noise does not unsettle you so much, and in cases, where no soundproofing can be fitted, then I ask you to consider moving to a more suitable property based on this reason.

Good Luck!! !

Sorry. Forgot to mention. If you are experiencing life in a hypervigilant way.

Then, perhaps may I ask you to get an experienced psychiatrist to review any medication that you are on.

People who have ASD who are hypersensitive to sensory information often have more elevated levels of noradrenaline than NT people.

The modern AntiDepressants that doctors are given to push to their patients are universal one size fits all, so do not take into account complex neurological dysfunction that is present in the ASD / Asperger Brain.

Many of the more modern Antidepressants elevate and optimise levels of noradrenaline in the brain.
Noradrenaline (also known as norepinephrine, is the neurotransmitter that gives people get up and go, however,
if norepinephrine levels are too high, they cause the individual to become hypervigilant, especially if someone
has broken sensory systems of the brain as found in some ASD patients).

So, i recommend you ask someone to look at your present meds, and if your present meds are designed to elevate norepinephrine/noradrenaline (as found with Venlafaxine, Duloxetine), then get them to take you off these meds
and replace with an older antidepressant such as Clomipramine, which works mostly on serotonin and sedates the patient a bit (which reduces these excessive destructive thoughts and reduces hypervigilance).

I have done exactly this, and have gone from an extremely hypervigilant and disturbed individual
to a much more balanced and calm person. Still have asd issues, as i will have for the rest of my life,
but there is a significant and positive affect.

Hope this info helps you.

Yeah I think if my sensitivities cause problems in the future then sound proofing like haedphones is a good idea.

Right now in the new house, the sheer fact it's a house (the bricks and mortar element) is providing me with quite a bit of sound proofing. And the fact that the doors face out to the street. So even if my neighbour was to go out to the front yard rather than the much larger back yard, they wouldn't directly be speaking at my property, they'd be facing their words to the street instead.

Well at least that is something, it sounds like at least you have sanctuary in your home.
something everyone needs some where to unwind and escape from worldly things that trigger anxiety.

I live in a flat above just one old lady.
Unfortunately for me, the old lady never goes out and watches TV day in day out.
Even with extensive soundproofing

I am agitated by her noise pollution.

she watches TV every day at high volume till 11 pm or 12 pm at night
then gets up the next day, sometimes at 7 am, and puts the TV back on again.

I mean, it was worse before the sound proofing, but it is still no good.
But that's about as good as social housing providers get i think
their not really particularly scientific nor understanding when it comes to autism spectrum disorder problems.

Perhaps in another hundred years, they may have started to improve the quality of their housing
so that it is finally suitable for habitation for someone with such a disability

Have a odd situation , am aware that noises can make Aspies very irritable after awhile .So being awkward am not really wanting to replace the hardrive in my computer which is in center room of the house . It’s bearing is going out
And so it varies the sound as the hardrive dies , every so often it stops .
But generally it sounds like a buzzing beehive and occasionally it sounds as if they are all angry . Sometimes louder sometimes not so loud . But I know I can unplug the computer and it will stop , but the computer here has a variety of daily interactions , that are time dependent , So not wanting to address this harddrive, but in my frustration .
I realized I wasn’t hearing the usually noises made by the neighbours that cause me to think someone is out by my car sometime , sounds so close , it seems to be at my doorway . The noise from the hard drive. Drown them out.
This has been going on almost a week . And I feel alittle more used to the noise From the hard drive .
Was Realising it was acting as a white noise generator . Which I have very little familiar with , but have noticed
My stress level being more stable . Am still frustrated with the drive but am not noticing noises outside the house
Anymore . I might buy a used white noise generator after , I get the hard drive fixed .