complex PTSD, anyone?

Post Reply New Topic

Yes I'm here to share. I have PTSD, diagnosed about 3 years ago. I was diagnosed with HFA last week. I suspect I've suffered from PTSD for most of my life, growing up with autism in a time when it barely existed in the text books was not entirely easy. But about 3 years ago, I survived an armed holdup. The PTSD I am suffering from as a result of that incident is still with me, my secure relationship of 8 years just disintegrated a couple of months ago, and I live with painful anxiety every day. I have really suffered because of this. Getting the HFA diagnosis has given me something to cling to. Now that I am back at square one, I think I can rebuild my life in a way that accommodates my needs more successfully. I wish you well in your recovery and regeneration.

I had PTSD (and still have some symptoms) starting 3 years ago and it got gradually better but still cause me still some suffer.
So, PTSD can get better, but it can take years and years.

But PTSD is very cribbling.

This interests me. I had to know what is hell. I, myself, have been unwilling through repetitive traumatic events in my existence, and I'm fully aware that at some point, I will develop Complex PTSD.

Well thanks for that, whilst I was confident I had PTSD due to my complete childhood, apart from 3 wonderful years in a Children's Home, being in the same house as a violent sadist who hated my existence so I was in permanent fear, I had never heard of Complex PTSD so looked it up on Wiki where I found such symptoms as:-

" People seek increased attachment in the face of danger. Adults, as well as children, may develop strong emotional ties with people who intermittently harass, beat, and, threaten them. The persistence of these attachment bonds leads to confusion of pain and love. Trauma can be repeated on behavioural, emotional, physiologic, and neuroendocrinologic levels. Repetition on these different levels causes a large variety of individual and social suffering.

Anger directed against the self or others is always a central problem in the lives of people who have been violated and this is itself a repetitive re-enactment of real events from the past. Compulsive repetition of the trauma usually is an unconscious process that, although it may provide a temporary sense of mastery or even pleasure, ultimately perpetuates chronic feelings of helplessness and a subjective sense of being bad and out of control. Gaining control over one's current life, rather than repeating trauma in action, mood, or somatic states, is the goal of healing.[30]

Seeking increased attachment to people, especially to care-givers who inflict pain, confuses love and pain and increases the likelihood of a captivity like that of betrayal bonding,[31] (similar to Stockholm syndrome) and of disempowerment and lack of control. If the situation is perceived as life threatening then traumatic stress responses will likely arise and C-PTSD more likely diagnosed in a situation of insecure attachment than PTSD.[citation needed]

In Trauma and Recovery, Herman expresses the additional concern that patients who suffer from C-PTSD frequently risk being misunderstood as inherently 'dependent', 'masochistic', or 'self-defeating', "

Well although I have been diagnosed with attachment disorder, I never admitted my extreme masochistic needs, but guessed they were a perversion of legitimate emotional bonding caused by learning as a child that a relationship with others must involve terror, pain and humiliation.

Don't know, but the ongoing trauma some autistic people experience seems a lot like c-ptsd. I know I relate to pretty much everything someone posts to facebook on the topic.

Oh yeah, big time. I’m not gonna go into great detail, well I have a lot to say but that’s my way of keeping it “brief.” Well here goes nothing…

foster care, especially in a “therapeutic foster home”, in addition to frequent bullying, sexual abuse and harassment from COUNTLESS boys, and lots of other things around that time, has taught me to be VERY afraid, and I still deal with that s**t to this day sometimes, only now it’s mostly grown men. I was not always like this, trust me. I just love how people are so quick to think blame biological parents for everything and quick to think they’re bad, yet those who “take care of you” in different homes or the agency, “oh they’re just looking out for you” or “well that’s f****d up, but at least it makes you stronger”. Yeah, strong enough to murder those monsters some day, if that’s what you wanna call “strong”, in addition to being very desensitized to other peoples problems in general, unless it’s extreme. So please, if you refuse to listen and empathize, or if you think you had it “worse than me”, then eat dick. I don’t wanna talk about my problems anymore because of this, seriously. And honestly, therapy has almost always been useless. My problems are much too severe and most people are toxic individuals, I’ve learned these days. And a lot of these “therapists” don’t know ass about REAL problems, no instead they “just want to help”. Well, somebody who ACTUALLY knows what it’s like needs to teach you how to help, because you couldn’t be less helpful.

*edit ok I’m not serious about murdering anyone ok lol just don’t want anyone to be scared I’m gonna be some blood thirsty maniac on the news. Ah, nobody listens to me anyway, sheesh!

This interests me. I had to know what is hell. I, myself, have been unwilling through repetitive traumatic events in my existence, and I'm fully aware that at some point, I will develop Complex PTSD.

my heartfelt sympathies to , one and all the Posters to this thread. Hope you folks can maintain yourself as best as you can through your life experiences .

I was diagnosed with PTSD and severe OCD (at the same time) back in 2007.
My PTSD is related to repeated physical and emotional abuse from early childhood through my teenage years. I still have nightmares to this day, and I'm sure it has shaped a lot of my behaviors. I must say that I actually felt relief when I found out that my abuser (my ex-stepfather) died in 2009.

Have had my own share of mind altering complex ptsd . Have been through and seen things physically mentally and emotionally that , if i were to tell someone about the total of things .
That i have personally been through, i might not believe myself . Murder of my spouse, sexual molestation of my little sister . And these were my own birth family . i grew up with .... Major civil rights violations by
lawyers , sheriffs and police beatings by police while in custody ,Witnessing another inmate at a different time in a different facility being beaten and kicked in the head by Sheriffs while being held down. judges and prosecuetors covering up lies . Ongoing breaking and entering of my home theft of private personal property, In two different states. ID theft and used to drain my bank account.
Liable by multiple neighbours in both States. All of this plus the mental consternations that go with it.
By the way both times in jail for over a month , the judge dismissed the charges by the police . But no apology for what had been done. But i got credit for time served. FOR WHAT...have not ever been a criminal . Had numerous times been accused of civil violations in both states concerning my home.
By people who decided i was an easy target All of which were dropped. Been ripped off by lawyers for over a million dollar,wrongful death law suit , Which was my only recourse left in the murder of my husband.
Because the prosecuetor and homicide offices refused to include facts in the murder trial .
Allowing the murderers to escape being prosecueted . This is not the entire list by any means .
Does not include a large number of medical abuses over the years.
But weirdly enough, i do believe that being a Aspie has been a saving grace through all of this .
My ability to intensely focus on things that become special interests . Including what appears to be almost a childlike mindset towards reality . Has allowed me to disregard many issues and divert my focus to other much more peaceful pursuits . Can still look at the clouds and trees and think how beautiful and wonderous they are to behold. Still wish i could find a decent and fare lawyer someday.

^ oh, my!

I'm the third generation after the main trauma. Growing up in a family with something big unresolved, that likely happened during the war and that likely never have been told.

At least it all makes sense after I assume it was that way - all the chaotic, violent emotions over seemingly nothing, rigid roles and masks even between parents and children, sudden violent emotional collapses and "inner Machiavellis getting over" with powerful fights intended to hurt the other the most - then claiming perfect love.

There was something my grandmother could never face and she went chaotic lenghts to avoid this something.