I have profound anxiety
Although my symptoms of Bipolar Disorder is mild, because I am stable with medications, I am having a serious mental health crisis, but to a milder degree, and Bipolar and Related Disorders comes from the same phenomena of a serious pathological psychological highs and lows.
I hope that I am correct. One person scared me and said that my school psychologist could have killed me, because I have Bipolar Disorder and that a lot of people with Bipolar Disorder get killed by police. And I had to explain so many times to that person that I can use my social skills to hide my severe pathologist highs and lows and seep some of it out to the police when him and I build trust, so he can help me. I was not killed, the police officer was amazed that I am still in control, very intelligent, seem to think clearly and do very well in school, even though deep inside, I am suffering and just wanted help.
Police only shoot as an absolute last resort as they are accountable for every death, and apart from that, the last thing any policeman or woman wants is to have a death on their record. They don't want anyone to die anyway. They want to save people if they can.
Police are just normal people who have a job to do, and yes, their job is difficult, tough and often thankless. They want to see happy endings which is one thing rare for them to see. If only the police can get to see the ones whose lives have changed for the good! They would be soo happy and glad!
The difficulty is for them is that they only usually see one part of a process.
Think of the people who are traffic wardens who need to ensure the streets do not get clogged up with parked cars. Those guys have thankless jobs but without them the streets would very likely be unpassable at times and somewhat unsafe as well!
Think how sad they feel when they issue a ticket. Sure they may get a bonus but really deep within they would rather they could get their bonuses with everyone parking where they legally should so they will feel happier inside about it.
This person scared me to the core, and he still continued to scare me that I could get killed, just because I have mental health crisis. Give me a break, I am stable with medications to the point where I can sometimes control my emotions, and use my social skills to proof to police officers not to be afraid of me, even though I have pathological psychological highs and lows.
I am sorry to hear this is happening. I wonder if you are feeling a physical tenseness and you don't know for sure whether you can control it. A police officer will not injure anyone unless there is concern about eminent physical harm. Any stranger's reaction to you (like a police officer) has nothing to do with a diagnosis. Do you wonder if you are acting aggressive? Are you experiencing pent up energy from your anxiety? You do *not* need to act on those thoughts and feelings. It sounds like you are getting good practice at this. No matter how scary it is, I hope you can think of something soothing to replace your thoughts. And I hope you are getting some help and talking with a therapist. There is certain hope for your future to be better. Hang in there.
Also one more thought. Your fear seems very specific, like you think that police officers will kill certain people more than others. If you have a specific fear, you might ask a couple other trusted people if they think this sounds rational. It is good that you reached out to this forum with your question.
Here is your answer: your diagnosis will Not make anyone kill you, not the police or anyone else. However I think you understand you still need to treat people nicely, whether or not you are afraid of them or they are afraid of you.
Here's a tip for you - one way to get rid of the tense feeling of anxiety is to get some exercise! Just take it easy and don't let out all of your anxiety at once!
I definitely agree. Thank you!
I am sorry that my fear about police was little irrational, I had shared fantasy disorder by people with more serious behavior issues than me, telling me that that the police could have killed me, because I have Bipolar Disorder, but I don't show enough behavior issues to come into this situation and have better social skills to deal with untrained police officers, but they still scared me and had short paranoid delusions, because of that.