How do I get more motivation to continue treatment?

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I'm on a new medication soon. It's for anxiety. I'm sort of scared to go on another medication. I'd rather not say what it is. Just saying it stresses me out. Hopefully it will make me feel less anxious though.


I might switch from abilify to something else. I feel very treatment resistant. I dislike taking it. I wish I did. It helps me feel so much more motivation. Currently I'm feeling more stable than I have in a while. Its just hard to keep up honestly. It almost feels too good to be true. It always goes away.

On the other hand I feel like I dont need medication at all because I feel good. But it goes away. I need to remember that. There's always a what if though. Like what if I'm being overmedicated or something. What if I don't have a mental illness at all. Honestly it's hard not to think those things. Partly because it's hard to accept plus I bottle my feelings. I tend to pretend that I'm ok when everyone around me says I'm not. I hate this pattern.

I want to be stable. I want to be like my sister. I'm going to go to school again and get a job. I might need extra support but I'm not as embarassed by that anymore. I'm ok with it. They just want to see me succeed. I want to be stable for the people in my life. I'm just not sure how to maintain it once I'm on my own. Taking the bus is something I still need to learn and picking up prescriptions, going to appointments etc are hard.

I know you rather not name the drug----but naming it might help in the sense that other people could offer their experiences on that drug.

Sounds like you're doing better. Have you been able to stay away from drugs and alcohol?

I stay away from alcohol currently. I'm having a hard time with cannabis though.

I am not a medical person, but it's my understanding as a layman that when psychiatrists prescribe medication you need to establish a baseline as in you aren't also consuming other mood-altering substances at the same time, if for no other reason than that the physicians need to evaluate the effectiveness of what they've prescribed. I have no idea how you can stop using cannabis. There's a popularly held belief that it's not addictive but in truth it's addictive as f**k. Unfortunately millions of people seem to enjoy being addicted but you don't have that luxury.

At a minimum you need to tell the prescribing physician about anything else you're using.