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Do you experience any of these? (tick/check all that apply)
Nervous system gets stuck in hyper mode and/or agitation 10%  10%  [ 11 ]
Periods of intense rumination (repetitive thoughts) and/or anxiety 12%  12%  [ 13 ]
Periods of emotional dysregulation and/or meltdowns 11%  11%  [ 12 ]
Temporary regression to more autistic thoughts and/or behaviours 8%  8%  [ 9 ]
Temporary difficulties expressing yourself verbally 8%  8%  [ 9 ]
Nervous system crashes and/or unusual levels of fatigue 13%  13%  [ 14 ]
Too fatigued to go out and/or do things you normally enjoy 11%  11%  [ 12 ]
Periods of depression which ease up over time and/or cyclothymia 10%  10%  [ 11 ]
Gut issues (may include food allergies, intolerances, frequent constipation or diarrhoea, Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis, celiac disease) 13%  13%  [ 14 ]
Other (possibly autism-related) anxiety/stress symptoms (describe in comment) 5%  5%  [ 6 ]
None of the above 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 111

MrsPeel
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05 Oct 2023, 11:32 pm

I am interested in whether there is a type of anxiety or stress condition particular to autistics, and its relationship to autistic burnout.

This is from my own experiences with anxiety and stress issues which don't quite meet the usual diagnostic criteria. Instead my stress/anxiety issues seem to come in episodes related to dysregulation of my nervous system.

My body seems to get stuck for too long in a stressed state, or 'fight/flight' mode. Sometimes it gets so bad I lose my autism workarounds and can no longer control my anxious / impulsive / ruminative thoughts and behaviours. It can affect my digestion also. Sometimes I crash afterwards and suffer fatigue and depression, which wears off over time. (I think this may be a kind of autistic burnout).

I am interested to know how many of you have similar experiences?



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06 Oct 2023, 1:55 am

Well all of them aside the last one of none of them applying applies to me, but not sure if it's all from the autism, cause I also have ptsd, generalized anxiety and chronic depression like even at my best times I still struggle with depression and I may have adhd to, but currently there is a shortage for those meds so not sure getting a daignoses at this point would be useful if I wouldn't even be able to get the meds to treat it. I am at a point where I want to experience life regardless of how horrible it can feel sometimes even though I can still struggle with also feeling like maybe I should just end it. I also just am not sure if I should tell my boyfriend that, like that I want to be alive and all that but like from time to time I get thoughtdos in my head about ending it. Like idk I had a bad interaction at work, just a coworker seeming kinda bitchy at me and so I ended up feeling bad all day at work, came home and just took a nap till my boyfriend got home. But like I told him that day upset me and whatever, but I didn't tell him that I had thoughts of ending it due to that.

I mean I am not planning on it or anything, but idk I probably should not hide from my boyfriend that sometimes I feel that way.I just don't want him to think its because of him, or worry that he'll come home to a dead girlfriend...cause yeah I wont actually it and also not even sure how to do so effectively like I am the dumbass that would probably try to grind 3 cherry pits in a blender and drink the slop because one time on the internet I heard 3 cherry pits has enough cyanide or whatever to kill a person. But yeah I wont try to kill myself, it's just in some stressful situations I consider it.


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06 Oct 2023, 2:47 am

:heart:
I think I know what you mean.
It's not exactly wanting to die but more just not having the energy and resources to keep on living?
I hope things improve for you.



Sweetleaf
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06 Oct 2023, 3:04 am

MrsPeel wrote:
:heart:
I think I know what you mean.
It's not exactly wanting to die but more just not having the energy and resources to keep on living?
I hope things improve for you.


Yeah that is kind of how it feels, like sometimes just hard to find the engery and resources to want to continue, but at the same time I for sure don't want my life to end yet. LIke idk I feel bad about the original singer for Joy Divison killing himself but also I feel he just felt he could never be happy in life and somtimes I struggle with that as well...but idk maybe it is still ok ot live life even if you struggle to let things go to just enjoy a moment, like idk even if I will always have lingering depression I still like moments where I am not thinking about it. But yeah it is a struggle like always trying to convince my brain I have things to live for so I am not willing to throw in the towel. I guess it's just confusing because I am afraid of dying, but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed and such I just think, but dying wouldn't take that long and then you get eternal rest...but yeah I don't want that yet but at times it can feel like a better deal than continuing to live.

But a lot of that is the depression talking, like I do want to live and enjoy my life.....it is just very hard to do so at some times.


But yeah maybe I should mention it to my boyfriend not in a 'I am considering it' way because I am not, but just that sometimes I get thoughts like that and they are hard to deal with, like idk maybe I should try and get a therapist to talk some things through with. Just not sure how hard it would be to get the appropriate sort of therapist i'd feell comfortable talking with about everything with.


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06 Oct 2023, 4:28 am

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08 Oct 2023, 4:00 pm

The 1s I checked are :arrow:
~Nervous system gets stuck in hyper mode and/or agitation
~Periods of intense rumination (repetitive thoughts) and/or anxiety
~Periods of emotional dysregulation and/or meltdowns
~Temporary regression to more autistic thoughts and/or behaviours
~Nervous system crashes and/or unusual levels of fatigue
~Periods of depression which ease up over time and/or cyclothymia
~Gut issues (may include food allergies, intolerances, frequent constipation or diarrhoea, Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis, celiac disease)

I think my mental diagnoses should be autism/aspergers, panic anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety, OCD, depression, dyslexia, & ADD thou the ADD might be sluggish cognitive tempo instead or in addition to it.

The poll issues were alot worse when I was a kid, teen, & in my 20s. Some of it was because me & my mom had lots of fights. Mom cant relate to being disabled or struggling in school. She felt I was lazy & not trying & her methods of trying to push me to be more independent due to her worrying about me were not right for me. There shoulda been some services in place to help but the docs didn't diagnose some things till I was an adult, both my parents worked so we weren't majorly low income, & we lived in a ruralish area.

I got in my 1st relationship at 20 & Emily was the only person I had majorly connected with. She had some issues with drugs & alcohol was trying to quit. We were mostly long distance which was difficult for me & she started slipping into bad habits after a while. My OCD caused me to get thoughts stuck in my head about losing her that triggered sever panic attacks that gave me bad diarrhea. I became very controlling in a futile attempt of trying to protect & keep her safe to alleviate my worry which of coarse made things alot worse for both of us. I became highly unstable & took things out on her & will always hate myself for that. We broke up after being together about half a year.

I was neurotic & I slipped into a psychotic depression. At times I wasn't quite sure what was real & what was made up in my own f#cked-up mind. I had some various minorish delusions. Also at times I was not sure if I was experiencing auditory hallucinations or if my bad anxiety was causing me to process & interpret sounds wrong.

I majorly HATED being single & was very lonely & hung-up on trying to find another girlfriend. I tried various ways to meet someone that I'm not gonna get into here. I also tried working on myself in various ways as well like~ Seeing a psychiatrist & taking psych meds. Trying counseling for a little bit. Joining an offline support group for people with depression, anxiety & bipolar disorder. Volunteering for a tiny bit. Getting a job & working lots of overtime when allowed. Trying to socialize with people at work. Posting about things a lot online. Trying to analyze myself & various things. Trying to reach out to others online who might could relate & understand including joining this great forum.

I managed to get in my 2nd relationship at 28 but after a while I started having a lot of the same negative behaviors as in my 1st. I realized my anxiety was a major factor & I researched meds to treat it. The psych meds I had been on before were mostly for depression(a few antidepressants), psychosis(a few antipsychotics), a mood stabilizer(Lithium), & for ADD/ADHD(Strattera). I got the med I wanted(Buspar) & started getting a bit better but the progress was too little too late & she broke up with me after being together about half a year. Some of the reason was due to our life circumstances & her being deponent on her parents to pay for college who wanted our relationship on their terms. She had a high desire to be independent whereas I was a lot more needy & dependent than she could handle.

I was hung up on things & obsessing about her & suddenly realized that OCD was a major factor I should try treating. I researched meds to treat it & got another med prescribed(Neurontin) in addition to staying on Buspar for my anxiety & the combo is working well for me 11 years later.

I got in my current relationship right after starting the Neurontin. Cass is more like me when it comes to being needy & clingy. We were able to move in together after about half a year. For the most part I've been a lot more stable these 10 & a half years than I ever was before that. I've had to make some psych med changes a few times but I have not changed my Buspar & Neurontin except for increasing the dose of Buspar. I still have some problems but for the most part I'm able to deal with things a lot better & let things go instead of acting extremely controlling or demanding. I tend to bite my tongue so to speak a lot more instead of getting/acting upset & verbally lashing out &/or starting a big fight. I'm a lot more laid back & easy going than I used to be.



Sweetleaf wrote:
I mean I am not planning on it or anything, but idk I probably should not hide from my boyfriend that sometimes I feel that way.I just don't want him to think its because of him, or worry that he'll come home to a dead girlfriend...cause yeah I wont actually it and also not even sure how to do so effectively like I am the dumbass that would probably try to grind 3 cherry pits in a blender and drink the slop because one time on the internet I heard 3 cherry pits has enough cyanide or whatever to kill a person. But yeah I wont try to kill myself, it's just in some stressful situations I consider it.
Cass has dealt with suicidal idealization for most of her life. It's not that she wants to die but rather she just doesn't see the point in living except for her family & me. She feels society will be better off with out her but she usually has no desire to actually kill herself. Some of this is related to her childhood & the negative attitude society sometimes has towards disabled people. She talks to me about that stuff a lot. I'll admit that I often feel like her counselor even thou she's the one who researched lots of counseling things & tried taking a college course. For the most part I trust that she won't hurt herself because I know how much she does not want to hurt me or her family. The only times I really worry about that is when she's extremely depressed or moody which seldom happens lately. If I lost her I would kill myself & I have mentioned it to Cass a few times but I was NEVER trying to manipulate her or anything. That's just a worse case thing. I almost never mention it. That's the most realistic scenario I can imagine where I would kill myself at this point in my life but it's not something I usually worry about or even really think about.

I'm not sure how supportive your boyfriend is or tries to be Sweetleaf but if he is somewhat supportive or really tries my advice would be to have a discussion with him about this. Let him know that it's something you only really think about doing when your extremely upset. Tell him that you love & care about him & don't want to worry or upset him & promise that you'll talk to him when your upset & thinking about it instead of acting out. He'll still worry some but if he believes that you'll talk to him 1st he shouldn't have a reason to often majorly worry. Let him know if you have ideas on how he can better be supportive of you. Also ask him if he has any ideas or what you could to to help him not worry about you. Tak my advice with a grain of salt.


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Edna3362
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11 Oct 2023, 6:33 pm

Yes.

In a sense that burnouts can't explain it.

Anxiety can't explain it.
Because it even happens during happier times, not just negative ones -- really, who gets violent with sheer utter glee and willfully do so in reckless abandon, that I ended up being joyful for repeating the whole thing in my head?


Just stress and dysregulation. If not that, sleep and screwed breathing patterns.

And a lot of incongruence between what I feel and how I want to take it.
Even with certain positive emotions and reactions -- due to something distorted and wrong.


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Kitty4670
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11 Oct 2023, 10:47 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Well all of them aside the last one of none of them applying applies to me, but not sure if it's all from the autism, cause I also have ptsd, generalized anxiety and chronic depression like even at my best times I still struggle with depression and I may have adhd to, but currently there is a shortage for those meds so not sure getting a daignoses at this point would be useful if I wouldn't even be able to get the meds to treat it. I am at a point where I want to experience life regardless of how horrible it can feel sometimes even though I can still struggle with also feeling like maybe I should just end it. I also just am not sure if I should tell my boyfriend that, like that I want to be alive and all that but like from time to time I get thoughtdos in my head about ending it. Like idk I had a bad interaction at work, just a coworker seeming kinda bitchy at me and so I ended up feeling bad all day at work, came home and just took a nap till my boyfriend got home. But like I told him that day upset me and whatever, but I didn't tell him that I had thoughts of ending it due to that.

I mean I am not planning on it or anything, but idk I probably should not hide from my boyfriend that sometimes I feel that way.I just don't want him to think its because of him, or worry that he'll come home to a dead girlfriend...cause yeah I wont actually it and also not even sure how to do so effectively like I am the dumbass that would probably try to grind 3 cherry pits in a blender and drink the slop because one time on the internet I heard 3 cherry pits has enough cyanide or whatever to kill a person. But yeah I wont try to kill myself, it's just in some stressful situations I consider it.


Hi

You should tell your boyfriend, tell him it not his fault, it is something you can't get rid of. I wish I have a boyfriend. I have VERY WOSRE anxiety too, I can breathe too fast & my heart can beat fast too. I think I have adhd too. I can get depress, I'm taking multivitatms for women, it has hormone support too.



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11 Oct 2023, 11:02 pm

MrsPeel wrote:
:heart:
I think I know what you mean.
It's not exactly wanting to die but more just not having the energy and resources to keep on living?
I hope things improve for you.



This is me too, I feel this way too.



Patrick22348
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19 Oct 2023, 3:43 pm

I am so burned out and I don't even have full employment yet. I can't imagine having to deal with the fing bull s**t during the process of finding more employment.


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19 Oct 2023, 4:08 pm

I've been stuck in what I call "screaming brain mode" for about the last two and a half years. I can get the absolute basics of my life done, but nothing more. The tireder I get, the less I am able to relax.


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MrsPeel
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22 Oct 2023, 4:11 am

Yeah, life is exhausting



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22 Oct 2023, 6:08 am

I have been told that my OCD like behaviors/obsessive thoughts/rumination are symptomatic of my autism.

I definitely have mild OCD. Have had panic attacks. And severe autistic burnout and fatigue brought on by extended and excessive sensory input.


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29 Oct 2023, 3:32 am

Quite likely.
I've heard of something called "pure OCD" which I believe meant you have OCD type thoughts but don't act in them (?maybe?) - that sounds a lot like the sort of rumination we get with autism.
I think OCD might be another neurodivergence, anyway.



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29 Oct 2023, 9:14 am

I've noticed that for me at least, stress and burnout are linked to executive dysfunction, and the sheer amount of difficulty I have doing various bits of daily life. There's a vicious cycle where the more I get behind, the worse the condition of my brain and the harder it is to get caught up again.


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29 Oct 2023, 9:28 am

I figured out a very simple test for OCD. You are having an anxiety attack. You hear the delivery of a shiny new toy at your door. What happens next?

Nothing stops OCD, not even a shiny new toy.