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funeralxempire
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16 Feb 2024, 5:28 pm



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Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a deep-seated need for praise and attention, and a lack of empathy for others.

“Covert narcissism”, or otherwise known as shy, vulnerable, or secret narcissism, is a subtype of narcissism that is often harder to spot because of its less pronounced features and behaviors.

People who are “secret narcissists” are not as outwardly arrogant, entitled, or self-centered as other narcissists, and instead of being charming and manipulative, they may be more anxious, reserved, and sensitive.

Understanding these signs can help identify covert narcissists and navigate interactions with them more effectively, as their behavior may still have a significant impact on relationships and dynamics. Here are a few signs of a covert narcissist.


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TwilightPrincess
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16 Feb 2024, 5:32 pm

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It seems like a lot of people can be “very sensitive to criticism.” Some of the problem that I have with videos like this is that they can make people think that everyone is a narcissist. It’s sort of like looking up medical symptoms online. Doing so often leads to erroneous conclusions. My mom, for instance, would watch a video like this and think that someone has narcissism if she thinks they have 1 or 2 traits.



magz
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18 Feb 2024, 5:52 am

Having dealt with some people I strongly suspect of covert narcissism:
There is a difference between a feeling of discomfort when someone criticizes you vs a complete agressive or passive-agressive outburst as a reaction to any criticism.

Everyone has some ego and in general it's normal and healthy - narcissism starts when this ego is so swollen and fragile that it impairs functioning and disables healthy relations with others.

Also, only one or two of narcissistic traits are not necessarily indicators of narcissism - there are a lot of other reasons why a person may overreact or show unusual insecurity in some situations.

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funeralxempire
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18 Feb 2024, 6:22 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
It seems like a lot of people can be “very sensitive to criticism.” Some of the problem that I have with videos like this is that they can make people think that everyone is a narcissist. It’s sort of like looking up medical symptoms online. Doing so often leads to erroneous conclusions. My mom, for instance, would watch a video like this and think that someone has narcissism if she thinks they have 1 or 2 traits.



magz wrote:
Having dealt with some people I strongly suspect of covert narcissism:
There is a difference between a feeling of discomfort when someone criticizes you vs a complete agressive or passive-agressive outburst as a reaction to any criticism.

Everyone has some ego and in general it's normal and healthy - narcissism starts when this ego is so swollen and fragile that it impairs functioning and disables healthy relations with others.

Also, only one or two of narcissistic traits are not necessarily indicators of narcissism - there are a lot of other reasons why a person may overreact or show unusual insecurity in some situations.
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I'm glad you both brought up that not everyone who has an insecure reaction or otherwise meets one or two qualifiers counts as a narcissist.

It's useful to be able to spot these traits but one shouldn't convince themselves narcissists are everywhere when they're only a small percentage of the population.


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TwilightPrincess
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18 Feb 2024, 6:35 am

I was thinking that sensitivity to criticism is a weird trait because it can come about through having an inflated ego and also by the opposite - by feeling so broken that any criticism just further reminds you of how worthless you are. It’s probably more pronounced if someone is going through a rough patch with their trauma. Of course, some people are just sensitive because, as my dad would say, that’s “how they are.” :lol:



magz
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18 Feb 2024, 6:38 am

Some people are just sensitive in general.
If being sensitive about oneself and about the rest of the world is roughly in balance, they are just sensitive people.


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TwilightPrincess
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18 Feb 2024, 6:48 am

magz wrote:
If being sensitive about oneself and about the rest of the world is roughly in balance, they are just sensitive people.
Yeah, that’s true.