It feels like I can't do anything right. I either have too much energy or I'm not talking enough. I make people feel uncomfortable. Its really hitting me today. I have almost no relationship with my sister. Her friend thinks I'm "weird" anyways. Its all because I went through some stuff and tried to get her and my sister to join my religion.
I am upset that I did that. I'm upset with how I've behaved. I don't have friends. I just feel really sad. I want to have good relationships. However they can't get past that I'm not like them. I think I'm doing ok. However I'm always doing something really wrong. It makes me feel lonely and like people don't like me. I don't want to care but it hurts my feelings.
People think I'm "weird" "crazy" "dramatic" "immature" etc. They all say that lately. It makes me really mad. I keep trying to move on and stuff. I feel stuck. I just can't do what's expected of me in social ways. I annoy people, make them feel overwhelmed. I'm on medications. Idk if it's helping but it hasn't helped any of the relationships with people. It's too much.
Oh and they think I'm always paranoid, or hallucinating things. They won't even check to see if what I'm seeing is true, it's just not to them.
05 Nov 2024, 12:26 pm
