Lesbian/Gay Bi or other Queer Aspies(positive posts please)

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Another FTM here. I'm happy to find some other GLBT range folks around here. I find it really hard to find/connect with the queer community at large sometimes. From my experience in queer spaces I've found that people have really sensitive social radar and I trip that with my different wiring, seemingly more than in other NT spaces. Sometimes it feels like I can't get any queerer- with my queer body and 'queer' mind. Has anyone else had a similar experience?

I'm a bi, genderqueer aspie ^_^

Oh, neat link. It looks exactly for the Aspies for Freedom forum. Sorry if this is a dumb question, but is Gay Aspie affiliated with Aspies for Freedom?

Wow, that's the story of my life! NT lesbians have not been very inclusive toward me, to put it mildly. Once I told a group of lesbians that I liked Star Trek (gasp!), and they told me, "You think too much". I hate to say it, but a lot of the other FTMs I've met have a similar mentality, as most of the ones I've personally met seem more concerned with proving their manliness than they are with intellectual pursuits. I, too, feel like I cannot get any queerer!

I guess I sometimes find it hard socialising with the queer community..

If I look back.. I remember trying to fit in, while most gay guys were worried about their looks, I guess I liked talking to the lesbians. I do find it easier talking to them perhaps I'm not yet ready for the manipulative gay man.. or holding back.
But yes I have found that a lot of gay men definitely act more "femine" /gay when at a gay bar.

PS maybe I try to engage in intellectual conversation too much

oh thanks no not affiliated there at the moment.

Thanks for checking out the site www.gayaspie.com
Hopefully we will create some good articles and threads of information there to support/amuse

Though that term may describe several of us, (including myself), I there are some who definitely are NOT. I'm reasonably certain one of the other guys in the poker group I am in is an aspie, but there is absolutely no way he would ever even consider being with a guy.

Many AS folks have other social issues going on (either simple lack of understanding or exposure, and/or significant self-esteem issues), that would prevent them from even considering alternative sexualities.

One thing I've learned, in my journey to better self-esteem as an Aspie, is never to be ashamed of my tendency to engage in intellectual conversation. I think there is some parallel with the GLBTQ pride movement; if people with alternative sexualities can be loud and proud, why can't people with alternative brains also be proud? I know, easier said than done right? Perhaps I should get a T-shirt made that says "Asperger's Is The New Queer" and see what kind of looks I get. haha

Interestingly, I had the opposite experience - I always got along way better with gay men than with lesbians. Somehow, I managed to find a lot of gay men who were on the spectrum, and even though they had their shallow moments, they were mostly down-to-earth. Strangely, I managed to meet mostly NT lesbians. Maybe all the Aspie lesbians (Asbians?) were hiding at home because bars tend to scare some people on the spectrum (or at least me anyway - the only bars I feel comfortable in are ones that involve karaoke, because music is one of my Aspie "special interests").

Mok- you're absolutely right, we should be proud of our intellectual drive. And I usually am; I'm not sure why this particular situation gets under my skin like it does. I guess part of what gets me is that a group of people who have been harassed and marginalized for being different would do the same to others (I'm well aware I am generalizing, I just don't know how to address the trend I find in 'queer spaces' any other way). I take individuals as individuals as I encounter them, I just notice a pattern in gatherings of folks based on the commonality of being queer. I haven't met anyone else in real life who was both queer and aspie; I hope I do in the future.

I'm bisexual. I'm more romantically attracted to men and sexually attracted to women.

I totally agree. That has always gotten my goat too. You'd think people would learn something from their experiences of marginalization about how to treat others, but they don't, because once you become the martyr, you are above criticism. This is what has happened to many GLBTQ people, unfortunately. They can't believe that a victimized person could possibly victimize someone else, but in fact, that is precisely how cycles of abuse work.

On the flip side, I have met Aspies who thought gay marriage and transsexuals were really "gross". This exclusive focus on the rights of one's own immediate peer group seems to happen in a lot of marginalized groups. Yet, you'd think autistics would be able to rise above that, with our lack of NT-style prejudices. Hmm.

How interesting. I am your polar opposite; I'm more romantically attracted to women and more sexually attracted to men. What I think is especially intriguing is that everyone, even bisexuals, still seems to have certain sub-preferences.

I'm bisexual without much emotional feelings for females. Also, I seem to only prefer males or females at different times. Rarely both at the same time.

This post has immensely cheered me up. It took me years to come to terms with my sexuality and then I had to work out why I was so bad at my attempts at relationships with either sex. It is mainly a secret and I work so hard at convincing people that I am straight that sometimes I am totally fooled by it myself for short periods. When I start to feel empty inside because of this, I start to affiliate myself, in my head, with the gay people I know and then I realise I don't fit in with them either. Openly gay people, I find, tend to be stereotypical femenine, bitchy types. It's so depressing. Sometimes I really feel there is nowhere for me.

Ha. This is very true. I call myself bi if one needs to find a label to define me, but for me, it's all rather fluid. My attraction isn't gender specific. It's all about the connection. I don't hang out at lez bars though. Blech. Too many people and too much drama. So you're right, I'm betting the aspie lesbians aren't at the bar. Probably hanging out in special interest related places. I would be at the karaoke bar too. Music has been my longest obsession.

The best combo would be karaoke night in a gay bar. Win-win.

If I found a really special girl I could connect with, I would defiantly be serious about her. When I'm horny, I think of women. When I think of staying with someone forever, it's my boyfriend.