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Ai_Ling
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09 Feb 2011, 10:33 pm

I find it very interesting that many people on the spectrum dont completely identify with their own gender. Some identify as trans, others niether or both. My theory behind this is that we dont pick up social norms that easily as NTs do. Gender is heavily ingrained in most NTs heads since they were very very young. People on the spectrum dont pick up on where their role is suppose to be as easily, so they'll end up expressing whatever is naturally in them. Whereas an NT was practically raised to adhere to societal norms of their biological gender. I feel in a complete biological sense, gender is fluid, yet society boxes us into either male or female.

For me, I have both male and female traits. I never really understood gender very well until I hit college. I was in this program where we had discussions on all sorts of topics, 1 being gender. When I heard girls expressing their concerns, I was soo confused cause I didnt feel the same way. Im guessing as a kid, theres a lot I didnt pick up pertaining to the way I was suppose to act as a girl.

Just a theory, what u guys think?



chaotik_lord
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10 Feb 2011, 2:00 am

I identify as a male. When I am reminded that I am a pre-op FTM, I am always a little surprised.

I agree that you are right that there are certain gender boxes people live in. The question becomes . . . without gender boxes, what becomes of gender (not sex, which is the phenotype)?

In my case, while my traits are culturally masculine in certain ways, I myself could best be described as something "gender-neutral." I am neither hyper-masculine (I am a pacifist; I am not aggressive nor competitive) nor feminine (I am not emotional or empathic; I am not nurturing; I do not weave relationships). You may remove that.

So I still feel that I should have male parts and a male body, no matter how I choose to use it.

If you don't mind, I'd love to ask for an addendum to your query regarding cultural self-perception versus physical expectation.



vileseagulls
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10 Feb 2011, 2:42 am

chaotik_lord wrote:
I identify as a male. When I am reminded that I am a pre-op FTM, I am always a little surprised.

I agree that you are right that there are certain gender boxes people live in. The question becomes . . . without gender boxes, what becomes of gender (not sex, which is the phenotype)?

In my case, while my traits are culturally masculine in certain ways, I myself could best be described as something "gender-neutral." I am neither hyper-masculine (I am a pacifist; I am not aggressive nor competitive) nor feminine (I am not emotional or empathic; I am not nurturing; I do not weave relationships). You may remove that.

So I still feel that I should have male parts and a male body, no matter how I choose to use it.

If you don't mind, I'd love to ask for an addendum to your query regarding cultural self-perception versus physical expectation.


While I obviously can't tell what the OP was actually thinking, I read that to mean we're all on a continuum but we fit into boxes as told by society - so a transgender person under that idea is someone who can't jam themselves into the appropriate box, whereas other people are more able to conform.

I agree about aspies not trying to fit into their respective boxes. I've always been fairly masculine compared to other girls - I'm not unhappy being female, but I've never been particularly femme, it's just not who I am (to be fair, I've never fit the "butch" lesbian stereotype either - I sort of don't see gender in myself). But maybe if I were NT I would have noticed gender expectations more as a child, and therefore taught myself to fit them.



Mythricia
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10 Feb 2011, 3:12 am

I identify myself as nothing but female - I like being what I am.

That said - I have a lot of traits borrowing from the more masculine side - for one, I like women more than I like men, relationship-wise, and never had much success with men either. Most, if not all, of my hobbies are considered "a guy thing" - I don't see why, personally, but that's what I'm told.

A lot of people try to label me lesbian or bisexual - which I don't really like. I don't want to be compartmentalized like that - I just like women, what's the big deal? That doesn't mean I don't feel innately feminine myself, and it doesn't mean I don't enjoy being feminine.



Descartes
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10 Feb 2011, 8:27 am

I've always had very feminine mannerisms. To this day, I consider myself to be gender-neutral, but with strong effeminate traits. I still dress in masculine clothes, and I have no desire to get a sex change, though.


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lostD
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10 Feb 2011, 11:41 am

I identify as a female, that is to say my biological sex, however, I do not believe in the myths we have built around masculinity versus femininity and enjoy being a bit androgynous. Studies have proven that culture and education were mostly what created the differences between male and female.



Ai_Ling
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10 Feb 2011, 3:47 pm

I was talking strictly cultural norms and how gender is taken into account. A lot of autistic/aspies dont fit neatly into either box. Im not talking so much physicalities. Im not referring to wanting to get a physical sex change. Ive read a lot of things on here about people who dont completely align with their gender.

I look at myself. I have a friend, whos somewhat like me except shes NT and she embraces her gender more readily even though shes not that girly. The fact that she is NT and shes been picking up those female norms her entire life unlike me who picked up very little female norms until I was 17-18. I think I would have turned out very similar to her if I was NT.



visagrunt
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10 Feb 2011, 5:08 pm

My biological sex and my sexual identity are both male. My sexual orientation is exclusively homosexual. To that extent, I am a pretty typical gay man. :)


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Draax
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14 Feb 2011, 12:54 am

Mythricia wrote:
I identify myself as nothing but female - I like being what I am.

That said - I have a lot of traits borrowing from the more masculine side - for one, I like women more than I like men, relationship-wise, and never had much success with men either. Most, if not all, of my hobbies are considered "a guy thing" - I don't see why, personally, but that's what I'm told.

A lot of people try to label me lesbian or bisexual - which I don't really like. I don't want to be compartmentalized like that - I just like women, what's the big deal? That doesn't mean I don't feel innately feminine myself, and it doesn't mean I don't enjoy being feminine.


i want to call you a lesbian and i will tell you why: gender identity and sexual orientation are 2 completly seperate things. your physical sex is female and you identify as a woman; this means that you are a woman. as a seperate matter you prefer women over men in a relationship and i can only presume sexually as well. (side note, not all lesbians have sex with women, or at all)

you can be a lesbian and be completely feminine at the same time; the fact that you like other women doesnt mean that you are any less of one yourself.

i want to call you a lesbian, but i wont because i respect other people's wishes; so i geuss ill just call you a mythricia-sexual.


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Draax
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14 Feb 2011, 1:06 am

my physical sex is male
my presentation is male
my gender identity is female
i am attracted to women

i am a lesbian in a man's body and i wholly want to change my physical apperance to match the way i feel inside (both through hormones and surgery). i dont like men, as a matter of fact i find them to be quite repugnent and i hate that i have the body of one. right now, as it has been for as much of my life as i can remember, i want only to be accepted by those whom i consider my peers: women. there is a sexual component, though it is slight when compared to the social component in my desire to be a girl.

the comparison i use over and over again when talking about this: if i awoke tomorrow and found i had the body of a woman i would probably cry for joy. how would you feel if YOU awoke tomorrow in the body of the opposite sex?


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misswoofalot
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14 Feb 2011, 3:08 pm

I was born a Female and looked kind of androgenous up until my teens . I grew large breasts and dyed my hair as I wanted desperately not to be thought of as a boy. I still have large though feminine hands and broad shoulders and small hips.


Some gay people think I am a TS when I meet them. They say I could be mistaken for a pretty tranny like Lady GAGA. This is how I identify mentally a post op tranny or gay man in a womans bod. I am only attracted to men though, even though lots of lesbians have asked me out. Gay men also have found me attractive and asked me out.

Funnily enough my teenage son has been mistaken twice for a girl in the last 6 weeks when he has been out with me even though he is over 6', has no boobs, has a very deep voice and has broad shoulders. He says he is straight too but I'm not sure whether or not he feels feminine.



Autumnsteps
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14 Feb 2011, 5:01 pm

I'm not sure, it's not something I've ever really thought about. When I was a child I had boys toys, did boys things and even wore boys clothes, not just jeans etc but actual clothes labelled for boys. I wouldn't wear girls jeans, trainers etc. It's only in the last five years or so I've moved away from that (I'm 32) If I cut my hair short I could easily pass for a boy



buryuntime
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14 Feb 2011, 5:15 pm

i've never had much of a concept of gender identity. Gender makes me uncomfortable; I'd rather not have one. It is very strange to me that somebody could feel like a specific gender in their mind.



serenaserenaserena
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20 Jan 2014, 11:55 pm

Expectations and "rules" for genders make me very uncomfortable. Generally, almost anyone playing a female role makes me uncomfortable to some degree; sometimes, it's only a little bit, and sometimes it's extreme. I actually think that maybe the only reason I haven't ever gone into considering myself neither gender is because I just think that they're genders, and it's just your organs and parts, but thinking about the ridiculous "roles" for them as the gender itself makes me feel differently.
In other words, I'm female, because I have female parts. If gender was strictly about the roles, then I would probably be neither.
I have a friend who is also an aspie who is clearly feminine, and she would always consider herself female anyway, because she says that all this stuff is against god and whatnot. She is generally only friends with girls.
I wouldn't consider myself transgender or anything like that. I feel a little uncomfortable in a way, but not with myself being a girl, just with what a girl is apparently supposed to be like and do.


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Arcanyn
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21 Jan 2014, 1:23 am

My gender means about as much to me as my eye colour. I'm my own person, and I refuse to be defined by such trivial things as that.



cubeyz
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21 Jan 2014, 3:30 pm

I identify as female, I am trans but don't consider it part of my gender identity .. more of a defect :?