Transgendered, Bi-genderd and aspergers, answers please
I'm bi-gendered, although I do like the term androgen better. I realized this when my mother told me it wasn't socially acceptable for a guy to wear womens thongs and jeans. I then researched it and the "gender and sex" topic is one of my "interests." lol
However I was also born with Cryptorchidism. Basically neither of my testicles descended at birth like they were supposed to and I had to have a double orchiopexy. This might be part of why I'm bi-gendered, as perhaps I have less testosterone then normal males do...
Rat_Barzane
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 8 Feb 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 52
Location: West Australia
I think I am bi-gendered, or androgen, whatever the term is.. Perhaps we need a list of definitions? lol
Born female, but always, as a child and adolescent wanted to be a boy.. Fitted in better with the boys, played with the toys and participated in many of the activities which are considered masculine... Never wear makeup, wear mostly mens clothing.. Hated my developing breasts!
Never got on with most girls, except those who are a bit 'strange' also
I'm also a lesbian but it took me a while to figure out, my interest in sex came along quite late, and not really knowing about sexual orientation I had some difficulties and went through an experimental stage.. I had big problems during adolescence because the guys I wanted to be friends with, playfight with etc always seemed to want a relationship, or think I wanted one.. As a result I even now have very few male friends since they always seem to become attracted to me. I also don't have many female friends because the average female thinks I'm a freak due to my introversion and crappy social skills (what the hell is with the small talk stuff anyway?)... I'm lucky though in that I have managed to form a small group of similar-minded friends.
Some of my confusion as a teenager was caused by thinking I was attracted to men, but I didn't want intimacy with them.. now looking back I see it was not that I wanted to be *with* them... It was that I wanted to *be* them
I have often in the past considered having a sex change, since it caused me much depression.. But nowdays.. Well, while I think life might be easier in some ways for me as a man, and most of my friends think of me as a male (one of my ex-housemates commented when i complained about period pain "Oh! I forgot your a girl!" lol).. I have come to terms with it and can live with it. Somewhere along the line I even found a little bit of feminine in me which shows through occasionally. I think I am predominantly masculine, but sometimes I switch for a day or so, just for fun
Born female, but am still figuring out my gender. Have both femine and male traits, so I feel more happy with 'androgyne'. The whole gender issue is in my case complicated because, my built, and partly clothes, meant, that throughout my childhood (and now) I was often seen as a boy... even in summer clothes after puberty kicked in (yep, have a clearly feminine build). The extreme cases: Being send away from the women's toilet and a bra-shop. The other thing that didn't help, was that my mother ridiculed femininity, like wanting to wear a skirt.
i was born male and still am, bodily. for most of my 28 years i have suppressed my desire to be a girl. i dont anymore and have started seeing a therapist to begin the transition to female. the day when i can pass for female and be accepted as such will be the highest point of my life. though i have only recently stopped denying who i am, and only more recently still, started seeing a therapist about it, a moment in my first session with her will stay with me a long time:
i expressed concern to her that my case would be dismissed out of hand because i have aspergers syndrome and my trans feelings would be attributed to nothing more than an aspie fixation. she said that concern was unwarranted and went on to tell me that the center that i go to has seen quite a few transgendered aspies who have gone on to make a full and quite healthy transition. she also implied that gender issues are not only not unusual but are quite common in people with aspergers.
i hope the people who read this (and i've gathered that some/most of you do) that there is a very distinct diference between physical sex (presence of male or female genitals), sexual orientation, and gender identity. i have also seen mention of the gender identity spectrum, which i think i will now be forced to make my own poll of.
as a simple, but not at all diffinative way of testing your own gender identity, think about this mental exercise, and think carefully:
you wake up tomorrow and find that you have the body of the opposite sex, how would that make you feel? (dont think about what you would do, think about how you would FEEL)
if that happened to me, i would feel fantastic in a way that words could not describe; when i asked my roommate the same question (and he is a very masculine man), his immediate answer was that he would want to kill himself.
as a final note, im sure most of you are familiar with aspergian obsessions/fixations; one of mine is sexology. my therapist has said to me on several ocassions that this is an enormous boon in the therapy process because i can phrase my feelings in clinical ways that leave no amiguity as to their meaning. and in furtherance, my interest in sexology was spawned by my desire to be a woman, not the other way around.
_________________
Draax, Evil Genius
I identify as gender-queer, myself. For me, 'gender-queer' is a way of saying "Male, Female, Tomato, Tomahto, let's call the whole thing off."
I've got breasts, and a vagina, and I'm perfectly happy with my body as is. But I can't fit myself into the female 'box'. When there's a discussion that breaks down along gender-lines, I always seem to end up 'one of the guys'. I was always a 'tom-boy', growing up. But I wouldn't consider myself masculine, either. Nor do I switch from a masculine to feminine gender identity based on the situation. I'm just always ... me.
I just tell everyone I am duel gendered. Sometimes I will express my female side more, and other times I express my maleness more.
An Aspie quirk? IDK about that. It seems to be more prevalent for those with Aspergers but it by no means is exclusive.
_________________
Still looking for that blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen.
Verdandi
Veteran
Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)
I guess I might consider myself a middle of the road type of person. I really don't understand the whole dual gender thing, but it just seems to me I'm not the typical male and do have some female-ish traits and thoughts. I'm still trying to sort through all that madness in my brain.
Anyway, there have been a lot of times however - and especially in the last year or so - where I wish I was physically a female. At least having a strong curiosity of what it'd be like anyway.