Lesbian Aspies

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I have an aspie friend who is a lesbian. Your not the only one out there.

Hi all. I'm an Aspie who's also a lesbian. Talk about a 'double whammy'. Can't hardly get/keep a job for being a lesbian and can't hardly get/keep a lesbian for being an Aspie! LOL

Woo woo, 'nother lesbian aspie here. I actually ran into a very attractive other aspie lesbian recently -- so I have proof of at least two! -- but after a long conversation I inevitably died of nervousness, stuck my foot in my mouth and ran off in a fit of horror, so. Y'know. xD

I'm undiagnosed. Or half diagnosed, I haven't decided if I want to go all the way with it. Lesbian though.

My civil partner is a lesbian Aspie.

She is also beautiful, complicated, hard to live with, organised, honest and I love her. We have been together for 5 years or so.. and legally partnered for over a year.

Is it tough. ? Oh yes. Is it worth it ? Oh yes.

Reading about aspergers is what keeps me sane and remembering that she doesn't think like me is what keeps me focussed. If I took some of her more eccentric traits personally we probably wouldn't have lasted this long. I can see how tough it is for NT and Aspies to live together. I can feel it.

Anyway the OP was about whether there were lesbian Aspies.. yes is the short answer.

I hate the word "lesbian"--just the way it sounds or something--but I am indeed a gay or queer woman (I hate the word "woman" too). I emotionally connect with other women and I almost entirely find women (especially non-stereotypically attractive), androgynous/genderqueer people, and ftm transgender people attractive.

Here is a problem that I have that I wonder if any of you guys have too:

Well, I went to a couple of lesbian clubs/bars once and it was very overwhelming for me from all of the different sensory perspectives: the cigarette smoke in my lungs and stinging my eyes, the smell and taste of alcohol, the strobe lights, the too-loud music, and the sheer number of people. Everyone was dancing with each other and drinking and looking like they were having fun together. I drink sometimes but only with other people (NTs) and personally I couldn't care less if alcohol disappeared tomorrow forever and I could only drink milk forevermore.

Basically, I hate the fact that the way that young people especially in the lgbt community are supposed to meet each other is through clubs and bars. It's way too overwhelming. It requires subtle knowledge of social cues. I'm way too clumsy and physically unaware to feel okay dancing. I don't tend to be someone that people hit on for the most part anyway, which is frustrating. And I'm definitely not okay with the idea of a one-night stand, because to me, sex is just like a physical manifestation of love. This seems to be some kind of misunderstanding between me and other people as well. I feel like sex is for you and someone you love when you want to be with just each other.

Okay sorry that I blabbed so much. One thing made me think of the next. I guess I just don't know what to do sometimes because the lesbian world seems just as insubstantial and foreign to me as the rest of the NT world or moreso.

AH, yes!

I recently came out... but my feelings and behaviors were so muddled and unclear and everything people wrote here describes me perfectly.

I just always felt weird because I don't enjoy things in the sensual way that NTs do, so I can never understand what they might be thinking afterwards... or during... and all I can think about is how surreal/interesting it feels to be doing this thing that is supposed to have all this emotional weight or at least this sort of innate excitement or intimacy to it but I feel mostly just the same as always. I used to have sex with boys, and that's how it was. I get more excited with girls and don't feel the extra scared anxious feelings that I feel around men in general, so I describe myself as a lesbian now.

i have been dating on okCupid, and i have high hopes of meeting someone who gets me.

it feels so so so good to read all of your posts and feel a little more normal for a change.

much love!

ScaredofWorld, I can very much relate to the feeling of sensory overload experienced in bars/clubs. - I haven't been in one now for years. What we need is more spaces geared for those with highly-attuned senses such as we have! We could make our own bar/club and call it The Aspie Cave. Ha!

I like the way you think, Dae.

OMG...I couldn't hardly find my way back here. I may need a map to get back to all the 'threads' I've ever posted in/visited. btw, thanx for the smiley ScaredofWorld. I needed that!

Dae

lesbian here, and been with my gf for almost 3 yrs, i am relatively high functioning but find it hard to touch anyone except my best friend and my gf and both took me a long time

Yet another aspie lesbian here. "Double whammy" definitely resonates! Not exactly optimistic about meeting anyone and having a relationship since socializing feels so awkward and uncomfortable. I doubt Ms. Right is going to just walk up and knock at my front door some day!

I am one too and living the terrible single life

I'm also one -- and lack friends that are lesbians because I refuse to go to any bars ..... it's all too overwhelming.