aspies feel like they are asexual...

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Yes, I think you are correct. I get a similarly hostile reaction when I describe my gender in some places. It just always catches me by surprise when others react so badly to the fact that in some way I am unlike them, even though who and what I am has nothing to do with them.

That's rather condescending. I remember someone "feel sorry for" me because I was a virgin. If someone said that to me now, I'd be offended. But back then (even though I was an adult), I was pretty oblivious about--well, everything, so I wasn't offended. I just didn't understand why they'd feel sorry for me when I didn't care one way or the other.

I'm definetly very sexual! Still, I decided to stop having sex about 5 years ago, and, contrary to popular belief, I'm happier than ever! I can't say I'll stay asexual forever, but now-a-days I can clearly see how much caring too much about sex, like most people seen to do, was prejudicial to my well being.

I think you mean celibate instead of asexual. Celibacy is when you chose not to have sex

I define myself as "demisexual", meaning that I wouldn't want or enjoy sex unless I was in love with someone. For me, the emotional connection is far more important than physical pleasure. I do find it difficult to imagine myself in any kind of sexual situation, though (I'm a virgin).

I'm not comfortable with blanket statements.

I personally view myself as an asexual because I don't like being touched and I find the thought of a sexual encounter disturbing.

But... I also have lots (...*lots*...) of fantasies involving both genders. I like to think of myself as an asexual bisexual. (If that makes any sense...)

The only times I've felt I was asexual was in high school when I sure as hell didn't and couldn't get any. In retrospect, I was just using it as a defence mechanism. At the same time, while telling myself that I was asexual, I still crushed on various guys and I still tried to lure older, probably gay, men. Hence, the only reason I kept telling myself so was that I had no success in the department.

That's not to say that I can't imagine someone being truly asexual, but for the most part I feel as if it's either a matter of hormonal lacking/imbalances or merely a defence mechanism.

I'm like that, too. During high school, I refused to shake others' hands because it felt too intimate.

However, I thought about it and found it strange that I had this abnormal tactile sensitivity. So, I set out to slowly dull it. ~2 years into college, I was fine with handshakes, but simply couldn't hug people without it coming off as awkward. About 3 years ago, when I met the first guy I felt comfortable being intimate with, sex/cuddling was near impossible, due to general sensitivity. He used to be able to caress me anywhere, and after ~30 seconds, I'd be pushing his hands away and asking him to stop. But...now? Now, he marvels at how much longer it takes for the sensitivity to kick in.


In short, I'd recommend that people step out of their comfort zones and experience more, especially if there's little to no risk of permanent harm. Do so in little steps, though, unless you're confident you won't have a dreadful panic attack or similar damage.

I know that feeling all too well. And it's ironic because the other night, I was pulled to Chuck E Cheese's for a kid's birthday party, and they played a song that went "I am, a robot. To be human is, what I want. No emotions and... something, something?" I don't know the rest, but yeah. And robots are one of my special interests as well, which continues to be ironic.

Anyway, I too am mostly asexual. There was a brief period when I was about 13 that I showed some attraction to girls, but that went away surprisingly quick. Now I just don't care. If I have a girlfriend, then woopdy doo, if I don't, then it's woopdy doo. To me, relationships are just a distraction from my interests.

i drift into asexuality and out of it again, im weird like that. but i love hugs.

I am asexual and I'm 20 and have Asperger's syndrome. The idea of having sex doesn't appeal to me, I used to be very fearful about my not being attracted to people in the way that makes people want sex, I didn't know what it meant about me, I didn't have a term for it,,. My family know, when I first admitted to being asexual my brother and Mum were upset by it, Dad was ok with it though.

Last edited by alice333 on 12 Jun 2011, 8:22 pm, edited 23 times in total.

After questioning for a long time, I'm pretty certain that I'm asexual. I'm still attracted to guys, but would like companionship out of a relationship.

I tried telling my sister a while ago that I thought I was asexual, and she told me, "no you're not!" I think she was trying to be supportive but it didn't come off that way...

The asexual community is no longer accepting of me because I made the mistake of mentioning that I started a med a month ago to decrease my drive because of issues with masturbation due to bad OCD. I was already on thin ice because I had said in other post & conversation on the site that I would be willing to have sex if I was in a serious relationship. I thought I was a borderline asexual because sex didn't really interest me; sex would be more about pleasing my partner & being romantic & close to her than about the actual sex for me & never having sex wouldn't bother me. Sense I do have a drive & would be willing to please my partner even thou sex isn't important to me; they think I'm not a real true asexual & that I'm not compatible with asexuals; I'm a poser to em. Ironic that some of those members said I was judgmental before about things

I'm asexual. I had a few girlfriends in high school, but I see now that the reason I did was because of the idea that "that's what normal people do." Once I left college, I accepted who I am and in the past 10 years I haven't had so much as a first date. And I'm completely ok with that. I just have no desire at all to pursue women, men, everything in between, anyone. I don't find sex repulsive, I just don't want it.

I have sexual feelings and a sex drive (of course, I'm 17) but I'm scared of the idea of having sex due to the high levels of intimacy associated with the act. It would likely scare me being that close to somebody.

I am a committed asexual, though I am not entirely sure what romance label I fit into closely. I am probably romantic but not sure which. I guess that will come with time.

In the meantime, I'm going to have some cake.

~CGKings317

Some are. I'm probably about the furthest thing from it myself however