Should I join my university's LGBT Association?

Post Reply New Topic

Well, I'm finally at university, which I've been telling myself is when I really start to come out in earnest. Well, easier said then done. It's not that I'm afraid of people's reactions or that I'm embarrassed of being gay (at least not consciously). It's just that I've always been uncomfortable with any sexual or romantic issue pertaining to myself. Or sexual issues relating to others, for that matter.

Anyway, there was a Society Expo today which actually included a fairly large stand for the LGBT association. And, despite what I told myself I'd do, I didn't actually go up to it. I don't know why--I just felt really uncomfortable. Which I do with respect to joining any sort of group. But this was worse. They also had a display (perhaps free give-away, I'm not sure) of condoms etc. which made me feel quite uncomfortable. And someone (presumably L or B) was saying "Safe sex is good sex." Is that the sort of thing that people talk about at an LGBT society? Because, although I certainly have a sex drive, I get the impression it's a fairly low one for my age and I'm far more interested in finding a relationship then just sex. Within a serious, monogamous, relationship I wouldn't mind engaging is protected sex, but that is more like a bonus then anything.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Is it a good idea to join an LGBT society? What sort of things do they talk about? What sort of people are members? Any advice on how to go about getting involved if you think it is a good idea? GAAHH! I'm confused. Why can't life just be nice and simple like a physics problem?

I've been pondering the same questions. I've gotten a couple of emails from them, but I haven't got up the guts to go to any of their events yet.

I've been a member of my school's Gay-Straight Alliance since last year. What we did last year was mostly get involved with campus-related things, either participating in events around campus or attend LGBT-related events on other campuses (my college has multiple campuses around the district) or in the city. About a year ago, the GSA also marched in a local Gay Pride parade and, as a non-sponsored event, did a social meet-up at a local club.

I also remember a lot of strange, awkward discussions amongst the members after the meetings. Because of one uber-slutty guy who was a member, the discussions often took on a very sexual tone, which made me feel awkward because I'm a virgin. That's unique to the GSA at my school, though, so I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. One fun thing I did with several other members after one meeting was go out to eat at a Mexican restaurant.

I'm sure, if you decide to join, then all you have to do is start attending meetings. There may be a slight membership fee, though.

*snigger* 3-body? Packing?

Don't know about Packing, but the 3-body problem may just be simpler than figuring out my strange life.

Only you now whether your should join or not.

Right now you are balanced between a motivation to join and an antipathy towards joining. One will overcome the other--and I suspect it will be your motivation that will overcome your anitpathy.

I will suggest, though, that joining is a risk free decision. You're free to go; you're free to remain silent and you're free to leave. No one will be taking attendance. And who knows, you might see a friend there. Or make a new one.

The university I attend has one too, and I've been wondering the same thing lately. I honestly don't know if it's a good idea for me to join or not (the school has a strong Christian presense and the community I live in isn't a very tolerant one) . Also, I don't really know anything about the group at all...they apparenty have a FB group for interested students to join, and I think I'm gonna check that out....


Does the group at your university have something like that? A facebook page or a yahoo group or whatever? Maybe it'll be easier for you to join that first, and get a sense for what they talk about?

I've looked on Facebook and even Googled it, but I couldn't find anything. Fortunately, despite the fact that my university was actually founded by Jesuits, it doesn't seem to be too bad in terms of religiousity (it's a real word, by the way). Maybe a bit more than most of Canada--I've noticed several different posters for various Christian groups and had to make sure I did not catch the eye of any of the Christian group tables at the society expo--but I'd be willing to bet that most of them aren't homophobic. For me it's just my introversion and, well, prudishness, that makes me uncertain.

I suspect you're right that I will end up joining eventually. Once I get up the nerve. Which, knowing me, will be just before I graduate. Unfortunately I don't have any friends at this university--the few that I have all went elsewhere. Part of what makes me so nervous is that I feel very...alone, which heightens my insecurities. Of course, I don't know how I can expect to make friends without joining a society or somehow putting myself out there.

The LGBT association at my university has their own center (part of a building where they are headquarted). The people used to talk about sex all the time in the center which "sexualized" the space. There were other people who pointed this out and said it felt uncomfortable. People now keep these conversations to a minimum.



Usually, they talk about random things. Or they talk about the closed minded parts of society There are many types of people who are members. Some are hyper sexual and some are border-line asexual. Some are trans. Some are gender-neutral. Some are unsure and still figuring themselves out.

Life cannot be nice and simple as sometimes the nicest things come from the complex. It will show more as we get older.

I would try to visit it just to scope the place out. If they talk obsessively about sex or their personal sex life, I would mention it to the head of the organization. If they won't change or at least consider what you have to say, then it probably isn't the place for you. Why go to someplace that will make you feel uncomfortable?

You will probably feel uncomfortable the first time you go or awkward because you do not know anyone. I would just go a few times a week. Go in and out so people are familiar with you. If you are an aspie and are too afraid to talk to anyone, eventually someone will be curious on who you are, why you keep popping in and out, and approach you to ask.

Here's some advice: Don't say anything about how you identify with the LGBT community until you know the place is something you can trust.

Do you mean I shouldn't say anything about my orientation or I shouldn't say anything about being a member (or not) of the organization?

I would like to join my uni's association but I feel too timid to do so

Does that timidity extend to other groups--or do you have a particular block about joining an LGBT group.

I'm usually quite timid even at the best of times, but the LGBT issue has given me an additional stumbling block. Oh well.

Sounds like me. I never like joining a new group, but because this one is related to sexuality it becomes even harder for me. I've just never been comfortable with any form of sexuality. Not that I'm asexual by any means, it's just not something I like to talk about.

may or may not be a good idea to join LGBT group straight away.

Once involved in a group you will be judged.

And I am thinking at the start of the university year, there will be a lot of new people attending.
Sussing out each other. mmmm....
and of course looking for sex. (and just friendships, and just time fillers, assignment procrastinators

mmm... so if your going to go be confident don't attach yourself to anyone. mingle a bit.

It seems in New Zealand, a slightly nerdy bunch become the regulars.

YEAH... and if you attend from the start it may be a good time to form strong new friendships. or if you attend later in year. it may be good to make an appearance (the camera is on you, you have the attention, you are the only new kid )

mmm... up to you...

I reckon head along... socialize, perhaps you'll find a partner