Proud to Be LGBT and Autistic?

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Mus
Tufted Titmouse

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02 Jun 2012, 2:32 am

I am proud of neither. "Pride" denotes a feeling towards something earned or accomplished (proud of good grades, proud of winning an award, proud of my children). I neither earned nor accomplished autism or homosexuality. That would be like saying I'm proud to be right-handed. I'm not, nor can I be. It's simply how I am.

d057
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02 Jun 2012, 3:01 pm

I am glad that somebody agrees with me. Being Autistic is different from being gay, while I know I didn't choose either.

invisiblespectrum wrote:

You can count me in the neither-proud-nor-ashamed group. It's hard for me to comprehend feeling proud or ashamed of things that are entirely beyond my control. I understand the political usefulness of declaring oneself to be proud of something society says one should be ashamed of, but the emotion just isn't there. To me these are neutral characteristics, they don't make me a better or worse person.

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redrobin62
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03 Jun 2012, 1:17 pm

Today? No. I'm not proud to be either. Ask me on another day when I'm not feeling down.

d057
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07 Jun 2012, 4:49 pm

I'm sorry you feel down. Hope you feel better soon!

redrobin62 wrote:

Today? No. I'm not proud to be either. Ask me on another day when I'm not feeling down.

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Vlad_
Emu Egg
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07 Jun 2012, 5:14 pm

Well I've always been very proud to be me and to be who I am as an unusual and unique person.

But I wouldn't say I'm proud of being autistic since this is limiting in some ways. But I'm proud of the strengths I've developed in spite of everything. I used to think of several of my unusual strengths as aspects of my autism, but I have later found that non-autistic people can present with the same traits, so... I'm satisfied with just saying I'm proud of my strong sides and am continuously working to get better at dealing with my flaws and weaknesses.

As for GLBT... Well, again I'm proud to be me, but do I call myself male or transgender? If I apply semantics of the reality I live in to what I am, I have to call it transgender. And in doing so I am also saying that I am then not male in the same complete way as other men are. This is not because of how I feel - though it influences how I feel - it is because of how our language is structured.

It isn't easy to be proud of something that you can only acknowledge partially when you put it into words!

So I guess the answer is double and maybe somewhat self contradictory because I truly am proud of being me, but I'm not proud of everything that comes with it. I acknowledge being transgendered and having autism, but I treat these as neutral facts that help me navigate and communicate in my/our reality.

I don't want to sound corny, but the 'me' I'm truly proud of can't really be put into words or described, it can only be sensed as a combination of phenomena at any given time, place and situation.

chessimprov
Toucan
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12 Jun 2012, 10:08 pm

As it is relatively still unusual to be gay, Aspergers, or both, we can't expect the majority to understand, but we can demand respect.

bettalove
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15 Jun 2012, 9:43 pm

I don't know that I'm proud to be either, honestly. Why should I be proud of "random" effects from my DNA?

I just finished making an identical mother dog and puppy plush set. I'm proud of that, because it took my time, dedication, and previously learned skills.

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AnonymousAnonymous
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18 Jun 2012, 1:52 pm

Today, I'm proud of my sister who came out as queer because
she doesn't see herself as straight nor as bisexual, nor as lesbian.

Now, how do I come out as bisexual in a way that won't shock her?

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tomamil
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18 Jun 2012, 3:12 pm

saying i am proud being gay or autistic is like saying i am proud i was born. my mom pushed me through her vagina, she should be the one being proud of that.

but i am proud of who i am and what i've achieved and what i've achieved is thanks to who i am and therefore thanks to my being gay and autistic. although i guess i could achieve the same even if was NT.

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invisiblespectrum
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18 Jun 2012, 3:35 pm

tomamil wrote:

saying i am proud being gay or autistic is like saying i am proud i was born. my mom pushed me through her vagina, she should be the one being proud of that.

That is a great of way looking at it. Thanks for making me smile.

DonQuoteme
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19 Jun 2012, 2:08 am

AstroGeek wrote:

I wouldn't describe myself as proud considering both my AS and homosexuality were things that I was born with. I didn't do anything to achieve them, so I see no reason to be proud. That said, I'm not ashamed either.

You make a good point. The phrase "Out and proud" or just "proud" doesn't really make a lot of sense when you consider we've done nothing to become gay or autistic. Perhaps "comfortable" would be a better way to express how we're dealing with who we are. Similarly, why should anyone feel ashamed of who they are? You can only be ashamed of choices you have control over.

muzikislyf
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26 Jun 2012, 2:01 pm

When used in this way, I do believe proud just means that you are not ashamed of those aspects.

I am a proud lesbian Aspie!

Joshp406
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 17 Jun 2011
Age: 27
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26 Jun 2012, 4:05 pm

What's to be proud of? I can't look in the mirror without hating myself (I'm trans), and I'm socially awkward as hell. Yeah sure, that's something to be proud of alright!

Teuthida
Butterfly

Joined: 16 Jun 2012
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26 Jun 2012, 7:18 pm

I am not ashamed of my sexual orientation or my gender identity (XX chromosomes, identify as an androgyne). I was only just diagnosed, so I'm working on not being ashamed of my mind as well. I hope I can one day be as loud and proud about my ASD as I am about my transgender status and sexual orientation.

DonQuoteme
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26 Jun 2012, 11:58 pm

d057 wrote:

Would you consider yourself "proud to be Autistic" similar to people saying they are proud to be GLBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender)?

While I'm not sure that anyone can technically be proud of something they didn't achieve (because they don't choose to be AS or GLBT), I think coping with having AS and with being GLBT can be quite an achievement in itself due to the associated difficulties & stigmas.

It's a separate issue whether they are comfortable with it, and that's what coming out and Gay Pride is really all about. In a sense, accepting you have Aspergers is a little like "coming out".

Verdandi
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27 Jun 2012, 5:40 am

I think when trying to refute or explain gay or trans pride and suggesting a corollary in being proud of being autistic, that it is vitally important to refer to the meaning of "pride" as used within the LGBT movement.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_pride

Quote:

Gay pride or LGBT pride is the positive stance against discrimination and violence toward lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people to promote their self-affirmation, equality rights, increase their visibility as a social group, build community, and celebrate sexual diversity and gender variance. Pride, as opposed to shame and social stigma, is the predominant outlook that bolsters most LGBT rights movements throughout the world. What’s more, pride has lent its name to LGBT-themed organizations, institutes, foundations, book titles, periodicals and even a cable TV station and the Pride Library.

It is about taking a stance against discrimination and violence and building community. It is meant to oppose shame. It is not about achievements, which is not the only definition of pride:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/pride

Quote:

pride
noun
1.
a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.
2.
the state or feeling of being proud.
3.
a becoming or dignified sense of what is due to oneself or one's position or character; self-respect; self-esteem.
4.
pleasure or satisfaction taken in something done by or belonging to oneself or believed to reflect credit upon oneself: civic pride.
5.
something that causes a person or persons to be proud: His art collection was the pride of the family.

While no dictionary is the strictly definitive description of word usage, it does serve as a starting point.

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