Asexuality?

Page 2 of 4 [ 53 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4 Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Magdalena
Sea Gull

Joined: 6 Feb 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 205
Location: United States

14 Mar 2012, 12:18 am

nick007 wrote:

Magdalena wrote:

I am sexual, but only when I am experiencing romantic attachment to the other person.

Your demisexual

I guess. Although I usually just say "gay," even if there's no sexual attraction without romance. Attracted to men, without the need for sex being present until after the romantic connection forms. I feel that a word such as "demisexual" will cause more confusion than just explaining outright what I need.

_________________
Male-bodied pansexual and panromantic.

Your Aspie score: 130 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 90 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
EQ Score: 37/100 ("low empathy")

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,622
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

14 Mar 2012, 12:25 am

Magdalena wrote:

nick007 wrote:

Magdalena wrote:

I am sexual, but only when I am experiencing romantic attachment to the other person.

Your demisexual

I agree. The explanation is more important than the label you use

_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill

"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition

PerfectlyDarkTails
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Mar 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 797
Location: Wales

14 Mar 2012, 5:42 am

All I say is that I kinda float between asexual and bisexual, on the grounds that I simply cannot reconise it. It's because of AVEN I found this place and everything just clicked.

Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,911
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

14 Mar 2012, 12:54 pm

TheHouseholdCat wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

Well I have found I could be Asexual, I am just not 100% certain.......but I've been just considering myself a straight female and have had sexual relationships, but have found sex does not really do anything for me. I mean yeah I can feel the physical pleasure but its like I am totally indifferent to it so I don't react. Also typically sex is not even whats on my mind when I look for guys to date I just figured that was what you do if you're straight and that i would get more used to it and enjoy it more.

Well that turned out not to be the case, so I might very well be asexual.......but since I've came to this conclusion I have not had any advances from guys. If I do I'd probably just be open about it I mean no sense in trying to put on that act of being someone with a normal sex drive as that would be unfair to the guy and unfair to me when I end up yet again getting ditched cause they think it's weird or whatever.

I think it's absurd that dating is about who you'll end up in bed with. OK, well, it depends, if may often not work out, but is that really the reason why people date? I think it's odd...

Then again, you wouldn't go on a date if you're not looking for a sexual partner.

Well I was thinking if I tried having relationships and such I would enjoy sex more after getting more comfortable with it or whatever...that has proven not to be the case. I mean I don't absolutely hate it, but I don't get anything out of it either. I don't know how to explain that to guys I've dated that all seem to have normal sex drives.

_________________
We won't go back.

TheHouseholdCat
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 29 Feb 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 667
Location: Berlin, Germany

15 Mar 2012, 1:04 pm

nick007 wrote:

Magdalena wrote:

nick007 wrote:

Magdalena wrote:

I am sexual, but only when I am experiencing romantic attachment to the other person.

Your demisexual

I agree. The explanation is more important than the label you use

This applies to everything. A label just shows a tendency, you shouldn't become your own label.

Sweetleaf wrote:

TheHouseholdCat wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

I think I'd be like that, too. I don't even have to try it. ^^

But I think the reason for this is not a problem of mine, but it's more of how sex is "taught" to us. It's presented as a total necessity.

You have to really force yourself into it and this is what I always hated about this... "If you don't like it, there definitely is something wrong with you." It's a bit... one-dimensional.

_________________
EXPANDED CIRCLE OF FIFTHS

"It's how they see things. It's a way of bringing class to an environment, and I say that pejoratively because, obviously, good music is good music however it's created, however it's motivated." - Thomas Newman

ChangelingGirl
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Sep 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,640
Location: Netherlands

16 May 2012, 3:34 pm

I was looking for a topic like this, sorry if I hijack it. I am questioning whether I'm asexual or just having sexyal dysfunction. I am married to a sexual partner. For now we have decided not to have sex until I am stable mental health-wise, but there is a possibility thata I just won't want sex.

Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,911
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

16 May 2012, 3:59 pm

TheHouseholdCat wrote:

You have to really force yourself into it and this is what I always hated about this... "If you don't like it, there definitely is something wrong with you." It's a bit... one-dimensional.

Yeah there is that, I mean I certainly see nothing wrong with being asexual......but yeah another annoying thing people say is 'you just haven't found the right one.' as if they can determine this for me and its like 'no actually I have no interest in sex...'right one' or not. I do like having close relationships but sex isn't a part of that to me.....to me its always been that thing I don't really like that I feel I have to force myself to do and then act like I'm actually getting enjoyment out of it for a relationship so I say why bother with it anymore.

_________________
We won't go back.

BobinPgh
Deinonychus

Joined: 5 Apr 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 352

18 May 2012, 1:58 am

It seems that in a world where the media wants us all to be sex mad Jim Bob and Michelle Duggars, it is worse to be asexual than to be gay.

KaiAustin
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 29 May 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 3

30 May 2012, 9:03 pm

I have yet to experience anyone actually putting me down for being asexual, but then again I have not really talked about it with anyone (the typical guy who sat in the corner most of his life thing). The only thing I can think of is that one time I told a girl that I would rather date my computer than a human being, and she called me a Freak. My family knows though, and despite me telling them my lack of interest in opposite gender or any romantic relationship, every time I am invited to hang out with someone it is like, "do..."like" them?" *wink wink*. So in other words I believe they think it is something I will get over. It is possible to find someone attractive without being interested in a relationship. One thing I have learned to do though is that when I tell people I do not like girls, I have to clarify that I do not like guys either because then they will just straight up and ask if I am gay. Really though, IS there anything wrong with being celibate? There are guys who become religious eunuchs just to stay that way....

DonQuoteme
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 17 Jun 2012
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 41
Location: Brisbane, Qld, Australia

19 Jun 2012, 6:24 am

I used to think I was bi but after studying asexuality I now tend to think I must be demisexual. So, is it possible to have demisexual feelings for people of both genders? i.e. bidemisexual or demibisexual?

TheWolf
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 20 Jun 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 40
Location: Florida

21 Jun 2012, 2:41 am

I view myself as Asexual. I have to confess I've experimented with both guys and girls trying to see what works for me and truthfully I'm not into anything. I could be really good friends with a guy or girl and have a relationship by romance, but when it comes to sex that's when my mind hits a brick wall and I loose all interest.

_________________
If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.

redrobin62
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Apr 2012
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,009
Location: Seattle, WA

22 Jun 2012, 3:16 am

Hmm...I only had sex once in my life. This was with a guy back in 1999. That's 13 years ago when I was 36. Is that asexuality?

DonQuoteme
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 17 Jun 2012
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 41
Location: Brisbane, Qld, Australia

22 Jun 2012, 4:53 am

redrobin62 wrote:

Hmm...I only had sex once in my life. This was with a guy back in 1999. That's 13 years ago when I was 36. Is that asexuality?

I guess it depends whether the lack of sex is by choice. If you've deliberately passed up the opportunity you may well be asexual. But if you would have liked to have had sex, but just never had the opportunity, or been too shy or anxious at your lack of sexual prowess , then you may not be asexual.

Is it something that bothers you?

Maybe check out the definition in wikipedia.

idratherbeatree
Deinonychus

Joined: 6 Jul 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 302

07 Jul 2012, 8:29 pm

I'm Asexual. (And also much more active on AVEN than on here...)

E-FrameZenderblast
Sea Gull

Joined: 20 Nov 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 230
Location: New Zealand

13 Jul 2012, 5:14 am

I have only recently decided that I am probably asexual (heteroromantic). I'm not totally sure of that because I have had crushes and I like the idea of cuddling, kissing and maybe even making out, but the concept of actually having sex is totally uninteresting to me and I find it mildly disturbing. I find sex scenes in movies extremely disturbing.

I think what may be more important than the exact technicality though is that I feel much more comfortable identifying as asexual rather than heterosexual. Seeing myself as part of a sexual minority is quite an enlightening experience, I must admit. I've been considering creating an account on AVEN though my usual tendency to watch and observe rather than take action has so far taken precedence.

Animalious
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 21 Aug 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 6
Location: NB, Canada

23 Aug 2012, 4:57 pm

At first I thought I was asexual, than after a while. I realized I might be more demisexual. For I'm not really attracted to a particular guy longer than a week at best. Except when it seems before the time of the month, however they're are just fantasies and it's more of the action than the person(s). However another small argument against me is I don't have a whole lot of experience in relationships. Yet I know that I don't like kissing, cuddling I'm fine with but the idea of sex, I did not like that.

Page 2 of 4 [ 53 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4 Next

Jump to:

Asexuality? Post Reply New Topic

Asexuality?