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CozPoz2802
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26 Sep 2012, 5:02 am

Hi, I'm confused about my sexual orientation and (sorta) my gender and I though I'd post it here for help/comments/clarification...I guess.

Anyway, I generally identify as a heterosexual genderqueer but I not so sure if I'm hetero or bi anymore, I mean I could easily see myself in a relationship with someone of the same sex (biologically speaking) but...my brain and my body seem to conflict. Is this because I spent more time hetero than anything? I don't know, I'm really confused.


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jamieevren1210
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26 Sep 2012, 6:17 am

Me too! I'm probably asexual but still genderqueer.
Many assume I'm male when they see me, and acquaintances tend to assume I'm a butch lesbian unless otherwise told...


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Ilka
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26 Sep 2012, 6:18 am

Well, I think your gender should be easy: look down and what you see thats your gender. About your sexual orientation... thats another story. But, do you really need a label? Just let the things flow. You cannot control who you fall in love with, so wait until you fall in love, and hope the person who fall in love with falls in love with you, too. I have even heard of people who falls in love with a person of the same sex and then with a person of the other sex. As I told you before, you cannot control who you fall in love with.

So do not worry that much and love freely.



Rorberyllium
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26 Sep 2012, 8:15 am

Ilka wrote:
Well, I think your gender should be easy: look down and what you see thats your gender.


No. That is your biological sex. Biological sex and gender identity do not always match. Some women have penises, some men have vaginas, and some people have an ambiguous combination of the two.



jamieevren1210
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26 Sep 2012, 8:32 am

Rorberyllium wrote:
Ilka wrote:
Well, I think your gender should be easy: look down and what you see thats your gender.


No. That is your biological sex. Biological sex and gender identity do not always match. Some women have penises, some men have vaginas, and some people have an ambiguous combination of the two.


Was about to say that :)


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Ilka
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26 Sep 2012, 3:05 pm

Rorberyllium wrote:
No. That is your biological sex. Biological sex and gender identity do not always match. Some women have penises, some men have vaginas, and some people have an ambiguous combination of the two.


That sound like a lot of complication. Not surprising CozPoz2802 is so confused!! ! Thank God I was always clear about that...



visagrunt
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26 Sep 2012, 3:41 pm

Ilka wrote:
Well, I think your gender should be easy: look down and what you see thats your gender. About your sexual orientation... thats another story. But, do you really need a label? Just let the things flow. You cannot control who you fall in love with, so wait until you fall in love, and hope the person who fall in love with falls in love with you, too. I have even heard of people who falls in love with a person of the same sex and then with a person of the other sex. As I told you before, you cannot control who you fall in love with.

So do not worry that much and love freely.


There are a minimum of four criteria on which a person might be classified by sex, and there is nothing to say that any of them will be consistent with each other.

First, there is a persons karyotype. Most people have either an XX or an XY karyotype. But probably as many as one person in 500 has a different karyotype: XXY (Klinefelters), XXX (Triple X) are the most common, but others include, X- (Turner's), XXXY, or even, remarkably, XXYY (and other multiple Y presentations).

Second, there is physiological sex. There are XX males (usually caused by an fault in meiosis, where the SRY gene gets attached to the X chromosome in the sperm). There are XY females (generally a result of gonadal dysgenesis). There are hermaphrodites who present ambiguous genitalia.

Third, there is gender identity. Even with consistent genes and physiology, a person may self-identify as the opposite sex. This self-identification is often sufficiently profound to indicate sex reassignment surgery.

Finally there is social gender. A person with fully consistent genes, physiology and gender identity may choose to present as the opposite gender and fulfil the traits and characteristics of that gender, without presenting the need for SRS.

It's not as easy as looking down.


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