Not fitting in....really tiresome

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My name is Magnus and I'm 28 now....

I've got a lot of AS traits, but I'm too high-functioning to get a diagnosis.

Also....I'm kinda bisexual...I think. And gender queer. Though that's an ongoing discussion I have with myself. Do I really identify with women or have I just idolized them too much? Am I really attracted to women too (with guys, I don't have too ask) or is it just because i want to so bad?

These thoughts really eat me up from the inside sometimes...

But anyway, it's really hard not being able to fit in somewhere. I'm not an aspie, but I'm not quit NT either. I don't identify with typical guys, nor with typical women either. And I can't decide if I'm bi or just plain gay

I have always been very dependent on order and clear-cut categories to reduce anxiety in my life....and I really find this kinda stressfull att times. Anyone who can relate?

Have you ever actually tried getting a diagnosis?

And yes, I can relate. I'm also very high-functioning. I do have a diagnosis, but I know some psychologists would probably still disagree with it. Really it comes down to a matter of subjective opinion on the part of the psychologist.

As for fitting in, this is what I found out on my own: sometimes you don't have to fit in to have friends. Instead, try to find friends who accept you for who you are. The best friend I've ever had is my polar opposite. It's almost comical how different we are. The reason we can still get along so well is because we can accept each others' differences. I realize that this could've just been sheer luck, but I also think people sometimes make the mistake of narrowing down their pool of prospective friends before they really give them a chance.

Yeah, sure, I did try to get a diagnosis. Or rather, was convinced into doing so. It confirmed what I already knew, I'm simply too good at certain things to get a diagnosis (correctly interpreting undertones in text, for instance).

The identity thing is important to me since...I always have to feel like a fraud I guess, even here at WP. I'd like to find somewhere I can feel "normal", but to tell the truth I even feel like a fraud in the LGBTQ student group where I'm currently a member (since I feel too straight while being there, and since I'm not really celebrating my gay side at all right now)

Hi Madam,

I can most definately relate! I too like to know where I fit even though a lot of people don't like labels. I have only in the past few years decided I was lesbian, prior to that I called myself bisexual. I still question myself all the time- maybe I am still attracted to guys and am not a "real" lesbian. Like you I (over) analyse everything which can get me into trouble!! Plus I'm kind of hard on myself.

My best advice is to *try* and stop worrying and just be yourself. try not to judge yourself either. What is "normal" anyway? Celebrate being different : )Which is a lot easier said than done. Just because you're not an official Aspy doesn't mean you aren't on the autism scale so that surely qualifies you to be here?

Hope you find some solace.

Overanalyzation, while nice at times, can lead to self-doubt. Just go with what your gut tells you and don't worry about it too much. I might not have too much experience, being only 16, but I hope I helped.