AS - Trans MTF

Post Reply New Topic

Huh. My endocrinologist recommended I move forward to surgery.

Is it possible that you have Androgynous and have Asperger syndrome, and be smart too. That you are been diagnose to be mentally ret*d. But you later in life that you found out you were average or above average. But you were seriously un-educated. But you personally choice a more androgynous look and behavior for yourself. And you choice to want to dress more like a girl. By want to wear dresses in public. To be simple to look pretty and be a male. I think it a crime that girls have a choice of clothing. From wearing a skirt and nylons. Wearing a pair of slacks and socks. And they called it fashion. If a boy wore a dress in public they would cause a problem. Even if they want wear the skirt and nylons for the day.


I been finding out their are several androgynous looking male dressing more feminine attire. I don't know if its a statement or that they feel comfortable in feminine clothing. I have been checking out what some male wear in public. I haven't found any male dressing in dresses.


But my problem is that I'm smarter than most. But seriously un-educated. So I another problem. Because I have these problems. Which me distress. I being told what I am. But aren't understood to much.

One problem I notice from the people who would normally cheer progressive causes, and who have been cheering things like the recent gay marriage victories in the States, turn all lukewarm and even cold (or even non-responsive) when it comes to any sort of victory for trans people in obtaining the health care that we need. For example, on the normal liberal forums I post on, when I posted about that young trans woman who was able to complete her medical transition under the foster care system, it was crickets.

I'm kinda mad at liberals for this.

I was reading this and then felt downhearted:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24434849

It must be nice living in a country where they perform such research and actually effing care about surgery-tracked transsexual people. As far as I can tell, this kind of research is never performed in the States. The federal government would refuse to fund it. If the federal government did try to fund it, you would have a whole bunch of bigots screaming at the tops of their lungs. I wish all those effing bigots would just die. If I were Carrie, 3/4 of this country would be vanished. That's why I wish for them to form a neo-fascist regime, launch World War III, and then in the aftermath be executed for all their crimes. That way we can begin anew, like Germany did after World War II.

Everything for me getting surgery depends on great uncertainty. My endocrinologist tried to cheer me up saying, maybe you'll even get it this spring or summer, but I think he's just getting my hopes up. I've got a long, winding path ahead, even with all the way that I've come. I know that if I stumble and fall, or fall into disability, I would receive no quarter from this cruel, sadistic society.

for awhile I thought I might have been MtF not quite sure now, is there anyway to have it tested by a therapist? I'm completely unsure about myself, and how I feel, I at times like to be treated like a woman...but I'm not sure if that's entirely me...(?)

I'm honestly just very uncertain, very masculine with how I present myself lately so its probably not the case I honeslty don't even know. I honestly just would like to understand myself more as a person I feel out of touch with it.

There's and old scientific-fiction shows, two alien races. Asks one question: Who are you. And the other asks: What do you want. I ask myself those questions . A lot. I am me. As part of the answer. But will they want to be you!

I saw this new subreddit, that don't got any posts yet, posted to my local trans support group's Facebook:

http://www.reddit.com/r/translosers

It kinda meshes with me.

With me, I just held all those thoughts in... I knew there was something wrong at an early age, but only realized it until middle school how badly I wanted to be a girl. I knew it was considered wrong to feel this way, and I was already bullied so I just held it in. I've always wanted to transition, but it's expensive, you need a strong self esteem to protect yourself from people who are against it, etc. I have none of that, and the technology isn't even good enough to make a person close to natural born gender as possible. Currently been waiting for technology to get better so it will be worth it. It's hard to hold on though. So I kinda empathize with you, but I guess to put it better, I don't have the courage to be myself like you.

It's hard. Painfully so. Especially when people (such as, say, parents...) seem to exalt the rest of the body over the brain.