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Xanzotire
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29 Sep 2014, 9:51 am

If you're Gay or Bisexual and have an ASC, what are your experiences with trying to find same sex partners? It seems like a lot of LGBT spaces are not very friendly to autistic people, with loud music and a heavy expectation to socialise well. I know the internet exists but meeting people who I've only previously spoken to online makes me feel anxious.

Bonus question: If you're a male bisexual with a female partner, how far into your relationship did you tell your partner about your sexuality if at all?


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kaedatiger
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29 Sep 2014, 12:23 pm

I'm also curious about meeting same-sex partners, as I have zero luck with this. Girls just don't seem to like me as much as guys do. I suspect I fail their expectations.



goldfish21
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30 Sep 2014, 6:32 am

The internet has been extremely kind to me for these purposes.

Dating sites, hookup sites/apps, personal ads, responding to personal ads via email.

Chatting, emailing, texting etc then meeting in real life.

Even though I live in the suburbs of the gayest city in the entire country (we have the highest lgbt population in Canada) I have very little interest in the gay district or the gay scene or gay bats/night clubs.

Yet I have managed to meet many-a-homo. It hasn't been very difficult. Like I said, the internet has been extremely kind to me for these purposes. Learn to utilize it & our Aspie ability to communicate much better via text than other mediums.

I suppose it doesn't hurt that there are a LOT of gay guys around these parts to interact with online in the first place vs. being in a small town somewhere with a tiny gay population. Even those in small towns could get to know others online. Maybe try getting to know someone from the nearest major city? Or make plans to get out of hickville and move to a major urban centre that's loaded with gay people.

Now, how to meet someone who's ideal relationship material? lol, haven't nailed that one yet! But I'll keep working on it (and myself) until I do. 8)


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Xanzotire
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30 Sep 2014, 8:06 am

I know what you mean about text-based communication being easier, but I have a lot of anxiety related to joining those kind of sites and/or meeting someone I've only met on the internet.


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WildTaltos
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30 Sep 2014, 8:56 am

i used to use internet sites; nearest gay friendlly clubs too far out of the way besides i cant stand clubs and can only just stand pubs. though i have a partner now who i met thruogh joining the priesthood so I dont reall have to worry about it anymore.


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michiro
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07 Oct 2014, 1:57 am

I have had my share of trying to have boyfriends. Yuk, those sugar daddies are gross. I think the only thing we have going for us is that old guys know how to have awesome sex and they are willing to bend the laws of any country to get it. My sugar daddy was not so much into the sex as he was into the verbal abuse. It led me to dump him like yesterday's trash, but as long at it lasted, he was great when he was nice, but when he was mean, he was a monster. I guess the only hope of finding someone is finding someone from this site or the spectrum itself. Forget about dating NTs, all they want is our personal places.



JayFlash
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28 Oct 2014, 10:50 pm

I too am trying to figure out the best way. But I've tried on various online sites or apps, chatting. Also I'm a part of some groups (which to me feel cliquey or like I'm not welcome). But I find either those that I meet don't stay long enough to form a good friendship/relationship or if they do I'm not interested in them in the same way. And you'd think living in NYC I should be able to find someone more easily because of the fact that it's NYC. Seems like it'd be similar to Vancouver or San Francisco, etc.



yellowtamarin
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29 Oct 2014, 1:57 am

I am almost completely removed from the LGBTI community and its apparent ways (what you described in the OP I mean). I've just done it the same way as with the opposite gender - online dating.



lightningorb
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31 Oct 2014, 5:11 pm

Dating sites.. its really easy, or gay bars.



kraftiekortie
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31 Oct 2014, 5:15 pm

Cmon buddy, just do a Douglas McArthur....fade away!



maecrab
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02 Nov 2014, 2:38 am

My partner is Aspie, I'm NT. We met through the couchsurfing website, where we were both members, and when she was new in town she posted asking if anyone was planning on going to our city's pride celebration, and I responded. We left after an hour of mutual boredom and went to a bookstore, and started dating about 6 weeks later. We both hate clubs and noisy bars gay or straight, and are fairly asocial and not a part of any kind of social scene. So you know, following your own interests can be a nice, low-pressure way to meet potential partners if you're openly queer.



Heidi80
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04 Nov 2014, 9:57 am

I met my partner in an aspie irl group



Vatnos
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04 Nov 2014, 1:03 pm

I met my boyfriend online.



swcvirgo911
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01 Dec 2014, 9:38 pm

Facebook through a college roommate. we're married now. as far as ex's school or random friends of friends.


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Mootoo
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11 Dec 2014, 2:04 pm

How long does your average relationship from the net last?



fuzzynavel
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09 Jan 2015, 5:41 pm

I was in a store. I asked an employee a question about something I am looking for. And I continued asked more store merchandise related questions. Anyway we talked for a while, and I really think we got along well. We got along so well I wonder if he could be on the Autistic spectrum. He gets so much of what I was saying. We are both male and I would like to be platonic friends with him. If I see him in the store again I'm trying to figure out how to ask him to trade phone numbers. If we became platonic friends I really would not mind at all if I find out if he is gay. In fact I would be willing to have that kind of relationship with him. If I really connect with someone, I don't want to be picky about gender.