queer romantic obsessions

Post Reply New Topic

Can other queers in this forum share their experiences of obsession? I've read that people with Aspergers can develop very intense obsessions with people. How does it feel and how do you cope? What difficulties do you go through? Why do you think it happens? Do you end up becoming depressed as a result?

I've been obsessed over people that were already in relationships...
*Sigh* Straight girls confuse me.
I have also confessed my attraction for these XX friends sometimes they have let me down gently or sometimes they left me alone. It made me realize my obsession was temporary or it was infatuation instead of love.
I can't really speak on the love portion because I've never dated a human yet.
Males that I obsess over usually do the same unless they're a celebrity, because they don't know I exist

Yes this happened to me twice; half a lifetime ago when I was young. I had two same sex obsessions - not at the same time you understand but one after the other. Neither of them was, I hope, aware of my interest and both were, to the best of my knowledge, heterosexual.

They were both stunningly beautiful guys- not because of hours spent in the gym or hundreds of pounds spent to designer clothes. These were naturally beautiful guys who didn't appear to be aware of the fact and treated everyone with respect and good humour.

My feelings towards them were very complex. Yes there was plain old sexual attraction but there was a hell of a lot of envy too (although they seemed unaware of their own attractiveness no-one else was; the immediate reaction from most women (and a fair few men although they would never have admitted it) was, well, remember that Tex Avery wolf?:



So I felt envious (I'd consider myself in the bottom 5% of the population as far as looks go). I felt guilty too because it seemed like they were how the world wanted to be, or how I really wanted to be, or both. I worried terribly that they would find out how I felt and it hurt like nobody's business when I heard them denigrating gay people (this was at a time when homophobia was not just acceptable but the default attitude of most young males).

A lot of guys wanted to be their friends because they attracted so much female attention. I saw them as high status friends too. I wonder if I also saw them as protective brothers I wanted but never had.

So, both obsessions were doomed from the start but that didn't stop them happening, They both hurt like hell. Only time helps but a lot of it needs to pass to make a difference. As I feel now, I couldn't envisage (or would want) a physical relationship with either of them but they are still in my heart and they are they standards by which I judge myself - and I fall way, way short

I definitely feel my crushes more intensely than neurotypical people seem to, they could just be better at hiding their emotions though. I wouldn't call any of my recent crushes obsessions, perhaps some of the ones from high school. I do tend to want to know everything about the people that I crush on but I hope that comes across as being very devoted and caring a lot and not as obsessing.