I'm fed up with the LGBT community

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I'm having so much trouble with the LGBT community. I have OCD and some other issues. My OCD makes me constantly question my sexual orientation. This is absolute hell for me.

Everyone in the LGBT community thinks I'm just "young and confused". They constantly give me useless advice that probably works for people who don't have OCD. I try to explain it to them, but they just don't get it. They continue to hold on to the idea that their generic advice will actually help me.

I've been to the OCD community. They understand me way better despite being mostly straight. They just don't understand coming out issues. Part of me wants to come out, but I'm terrified of being wrong. I've tried asking for advice on coming out, but nothing is satisfying me. I sometimes just want to die. No one understands!

*wipes away tear*

OCD can be total hell. I've known a few people who have had it and they tell me it can be unbearable at times.

The LBGT community can be unforgiving, but you have got to remember that they consist of many people with many opinions. The majority of them think that bisexuals shouldn't be apart of the community and I disagree. I've had two boyfriends who were bisexual and they were the most loyal and kind people I have ever met, so I don't always agree with them.

If you are gonna come out, make sure that you are 100 percent gay or bi. It takes time and self examination to truly know who you really are. I'd hate for you to come out and realize that you just went through a phase. Having to come out is hard enough with some people never talking to you again, now you have to go back and explain to them that it was a phase and they might not believe you and it will be another headache once again.

Right now a lot of the people in the LGBT community believe everyone is bisexual. They just go around telling everyone that sexuality is fluid.

My OCD is the reason why I'm confused about my sexuality. At first I thought I was young and confused. I also thought I was a fluid bisexual. That was until I started feeling a bit like a pedophile.

I later found out about HOCD. That made way more sense than my sexuality being fluid. I'm still battling with it.

Everyone still thinks I'm just a regular questioning young person. They probably won't think so when I'm thirty and still having the same exact thoughts. I've been stuck on this loop since I was fourteen. I'll probably be fourteen forever.

My LBGT community is different. They believe that nobody is bisexual, that they are just "going through a phase".

I don't know much about HOCD, but it doesn't sound fun at all.

Like I said, don't come out until you are totally sure that you are gay or bisexual.

Google search it. You'll learn how it works. I haven't come out yet. I'm not sure I'll ever be 100% sure of my sexuality. I hate HOCD.

The irony kills me about the LGBT community. They want to be accepted but yet they won't accept asexuals and gray-a's and insist something is wrong with them and tell them to go get therapy to find out the "problem." Now I find out some are biphobics. Don't they realize the name stands for lesbian gays bisexual trans? So why wouldn't they accept bisexuals? They think it's not real just like how people don't believe how anyone can not be sexually attracted to anyone or how anyone can't possibly truly be a man or woman on the inside they therefore they must be delusional if they think that or think they live a fantasy.

My last boyfriend, who was bisexual, told me the same thing. It's ridiculous.

Have you thought about medication to control your HOCD, or have they not made that yet?

wow i remember being young and not knowing for sure. yes, you need to be sure but as an adult who's 26 now and married coming out is overrated for the most part. everyone changes and that includes who you love sometimes. the lgbt community can be very judging why that is i really don't know it can be super hard. feel free to shoot me an email if you'd like to talk further. it will get easier hang in there. its harder to be autistic and finding someone who will love you within the lgbt community.

I tried zoloft, but it made me jittery.

You got that right.

Have you ever noticed the Q at the end of LGBTQ before?

Come out as "Questioning," if that's what you know you are - Questioning your sexuality and in a phase of trying to determine exactly what it is & will end up being. Also keep in mind that some people's sexuality is a little more fluid and may tend to change throughout their lifetime. You may be one of those people. Regardless, whatever your sexuality is at the present moment is what it is - always - whether it consistently stays the same or not, well, time will tell.

OP is whatever she says she is at any given moment. Period. How she wants to label herself may or may not change with time, but that must be of her own initiative and no one else has the right to tell her how she should identify.

OP, what you have told about your life sounds so familiar. My symptoms are pretty much under control now, but I used to have sexuality-related Pure-O symptoms too - HOCD wasn't the most prominent thing but there was some of that, too. It sucks so much to know what you are and what you want to identify as but constantly feeling that it's fake and that you don't know the 'real you' at all. When I identified as a lesbian, I constantly scrutinized my every move around men, my brain was like "you looked at that guy, THAT MUST MEAN YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO HIM AND THAT YOU'RE STRAAAAIGHT". (Nowadays I'm more comfy just calling myself queer both sexuality- and gender-wise, but that's unrelated.) Oops, it's like I'm writing a novel here - but yep, I know how much it sucks.

It is so disgusting that the community belittles your illness and tries to tell you what you are. They cannot do that, and neither can your illness. It's up to you only, your feelings and identities are valid. Take care.

"Community" is a misnomer. We're a group of people with one thing in common: we're all gender and sexual minorities. You can be LGBTQQIA and be an ignorant, judgmental as*hole. Absolutely. It's also unfair to say "the lgbt community thinks/does/feels/is ________" because, no, the entire community does not have a hive mind.

It sounds like OCD is your problem much more than whatever sexuality you are. The average person isn't going to understand what you are going through unless they have OCD, this isn't specific to the LBGT community, because all they see is your struggle with your sexuality in abscense of your OCD. They will try to make logical sense out of OCD which isn't going to make logical sense.

I wonder if you have ever tried Exposure Response Prevention(ERP) therapy for your OCD? It is a type of CBT used specifically for OCD that I found really useful and effective in treating many of the struggles I have with OCD, mainly the obsessions and compulsions, not so much help with instrusive thoughts though.

Sorry if someone said this already, but I saw that many people here said that you should be sure of your sexuality before you come out and that's just not true. Sexuality is a fluid thing, it does not always stay exactly the same, and you can always learn new things about it and yourself. There is no end of the quest, the definitive answer, you just keep on learning. I think that you should be able to come out whenever you want. You could always say you are queer, which can be a catch all term but some find that term derogatory. I think everyone who's sexuality is not straight should be able to call themselves gay, they do call the movement 'gay rights' and talk about 'gay marriage' after all, so clearly in some cases it applies to all of us. I am a non-binary gendered person who everyone I feel in love with we thought was a girl at the time but turned out later to be trans men, which is hella confusing so I just end up calling myself gay and getting on with my life. Love who you want, join the communities you want to, describe yourself with the terms that you want. Don't feel like you have to stick with a particular label forever or force yourself into a box.