Sexual Identity Complications

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Firstly, this is only my second post or so on this site. I'm 26 years old now and I'm finally about to graduate from my university. I was diagnosed with Asperger's/ASD as a teenager though I have only recently come to accept it. I'm at this stage in my life where there is a confusing intersection of my diagnosis and sexual identity. I used to have a relationship with a girl which started as a close friendship and codependency due to life circumstances and lasted for four years. We did have a sexual relationship which ended up being completely dissatisfying for us both and, for me, it was destructive for my sense of self-worth. It was entirely known to her that I was attracted to men and that I had a lot of "gay" traits that she constantly pointed out. Ever since adolescence I have had sexual thoughts and feelings about men but I grew up in a very homophobic, religious fundamentalist, and conservative environment. I'm not entirely sure if I was influenced by environment to be, act, or appear "straight" when I was young. I was never educated properly on sexuality and had to learn for myself what to do with it. After I escaped the confines of my cultural upbringing and learned to think more for myself, I started flirting with the idea of bisexuality but have never really been comfortable with that identity or my sexuality. Homosexuality seems to be more and more the normal mode for my brain and when I think about my past interest in having relationships it infuriates me how little I understood myself. I suppose I'm posting this to see if anyone has had a similar experience or some good insight into my situation.

While I can't personally relate, I've heard stories like yours a lot. It makes me feel fortunate for the parents I have, because others are a lot less lucky than me.

I hope you can learn to like yourself for who you are and not worry about it being 'wrong'.

Many people have gone through the exact same thing & process as you describe. It's a lot more common than you think. Just roll with it, chat with guys, meet guys, hookup with guys, don't hookup with guys, date guys - do whatever feels right for you and enjoy your life & exploring sex and relationships. It really is that simple. All of this is purely personal preference for each individual out there. Just do your thing, whatever it is, and be happy.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Thanks everyone for the kind words. It's good to hear positive voices once in while!