What's going on in terms of my gender identity?

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So I wanted to ask my fellow Aspies or even NTs what I may be experiencing? I am an undiagnosed Aspie, so it is possible that I may not have it but I always suspected something was wrong with me socially and people would often call me out on my bluntness and monotone speech, etc..

So in terms of gender, I have always seen myself as a girl. Looking back on my life never cross dressed or anything, I would say I'm quite a tomboy in that I have always enjoyed sports, liked hanging with males most of the time although I do have a very feminine side like enjoying gossip, latest trends, celebrity culture and admiration for fashion and girly things.
Anyways, I wonder why sometimes I see myself as a guy when I think of the future? It's like half and half, sometimes I will see a girl, sometimes I will see a guy but it's not me as a guy (at least i don't think it is) , I see a different man acting out the things in my narrative. In the present moment I'm fine with my body and when I look in the mirror I'm generally content. I have been content for the most part of my life except didn't really like my boobs, because they are DDD and they did hurt me physically at times and I wanted to get them reduced.. Anyways, in my dreams when I am asleep I am always a girl and do girly things in my dreams.. So is what I'm experiencing normal for an Aspie girl or am I more of a gender fluid individual or something along those lines. If you need me to clarify more just tell me. I've been worrying about this lately if it means something but I am willing to accept what I may be. I think being trans might be pushing it but maybe that is what I am?

You have absolutely nothing to worry about. My advice is to not force yourself to commit to a label. I'm also a tomboy female. I sometimes get mistaken for a man, but I don't really care how people gender me. I'm 29 years old, but when I was your age, I worried about the same thing. Just have fun with the adventure that is gender fluidity and don't try to rigidly define yourself.

Thank you. Can I know more about what worried about back then? And how you came to peace with yourself? Additionally, I would say I'm probably bisexual, but I don't think that has anything to do with this. Lol

Also, this thing about playing out a scene in a different sex, what could that mean? I never have attached any meaning to it, just something I do. Lol. I don't know if I've been doing that all my life but I'm pretty sure it's not what most people do

The problem starts when you're a baby and others take one look at your genitalia and prescribe an entire lifestyle based on that one thing. They use this to determine how you're supposed to act, whom you're supposed to love, what movies you're supposed to like, and what professions you can have. The stress of gender identity stems from the friction that's created when you realize that your interests and lifestyle don't neatly fit in this weird arbitrary paradigm that other people have artificially imposed on you since birth. I am female, and as a child, I absolutely adored my ballet tutus and my dolls. I would beg for them at Christmas and birthdays and I slept with an American Girl catalog under my pillow. However I was envious of the "boy" toys. I still played with them, but I had this shame that went along with it, as if I knew I was doing something bad. No child should ever have to feel guilt for liking something that doesn't "match" with their genitalia.

Back then, what worried me was the fact that I wasn't fitting into this goofy plan that others had made for me before I was even conscious. Once you remove that dissonance between what you want and what others have prescribed for you, you'll come to peace with yourself.

Like you, I have moments when I consider myself masculine. However I would never consider myself trans because that's way too much commitment. You're just trading one societal stereotype for another, so in the end, what problem did you solve? It may take some time for you to be comfortable in the middle of the gender spectrum, but if you think that's where you belong, then get cozy and stay there.

Very well put! I agree, and also I believe most people have a mixture of male and female energies mixed in them anyways. I hope I find my peace soon . I have been worried about this and I don't like to be. Before I even looked up all this, I was completely neutral to any of my "boyish" ways. I tend to do that and obsess over it for a while until it naturally fades away.
Thank you for your advice. It has calmed me down some.

I mainly want to say "yes" to what's already been said in this thread. There are some places where people really get hung up about gender, but inside your own mind doesn't have to be one of them. Genderfluid and nonbinary are great ways to be if those fit for you -- and you don't have to pick a final answer.

I'm 45 and identify mostly as nonbinary and sometimes as female. I have an ADHD brain and my partner has Aspergers and gender is just never a thing in our household. I find it very relaxing to get to be a person.

I hope you enjoy the journey of exploring gender possibilities!

I thought I was a Cis female and had hoped to be but I guess that's not the case here.. I do welcome any possibilities though. Anything that makes me satisfied I will stick with. Thank you anyways.

Most things have allready been said, I just want to add the following: I never really identified with other women or felt like the role that society has in mind for women is something that has anything to do with me. I refuse to wear dresses and similar clothing items since I was 3 or 4, nowadays I only wear men's clothes (besides the bra), have short hair, don't wear makeup and so on. I still fully see myself as a woman, I might not feel like the real me when I wear a dress but I do feel like the real me when I see my naked body in a mirror. I'm pretty sure I'm not trans since from what I know from my trans friends they didn't really feel the same way about their bodies. I can't tell if you are trans but imho thinking about getting your boobs reduced is not exactly uncommon for cis-women considering they can bring you physical pain. Also seeing you a guy when you think about your future does not have to mean something (but obviously it could). Considering you are not unhappy with your body why don't you just give it some time, if you are trans you will have to notice it sooner or later since as far as I know you can burry the topic but it will come up sooner or later again.

That's true, I've read something before the difference between gender expression and gender identity and you can be full female but still want to express yourself as a male, and not be trans. I think trans in the sense of transsexual is more along the lines of dysphoria of the sense of body and social terms. I'm sure there are people that have transitioned for far less, but Im pretty sure im comfortable as a female. How did your trans friends feel about their bodies? The only thing I'm uncomfortable with my body at the moment is that I'm 60+ Pounds overweight. When I was skinny and in shape I was very happy with my body. Additionally, I have PCOS and recently found out that my male hormones are very high for a woman.. so I'll have to see what all of this means in time.

As far as I can tell they felt (before they started transitioning) that their body didn't match their sex or that somethign is wrong with it. Something that can't be change by losing weight or something like that. Maybe a trans person can explain how they felt about their body and how they found out about being trans. I can only talk about second experience so it's kinda difficult for me to bring the point accross. But all were really happy when they started taking hormones and their bodies started to change (or when they got surgery).

To be honest I haven't read that much about gender expression or gender fluidity. But for me this hole express yourself like a male (or female) thing is kinda strange anyway (I'm generelly speaking here, not because I'm offended or anything by your comment). I mean somebody came up with a rule what men and women have to wear or how they have to act (and funny enough stuff like that changes over time, which indicates for me that it is made up anway) and if you don't agree to that you express yourself as or like a person from the opposite sex. I just express as me and that's it...

Hey no problem. I would say if your area has a meetup for gender non-conforming people, go ahead and try meeting a few in person. I guarantee, you will feel more comfortable once you meet a group of delightfully weird people just like you. Have fun, and don't hesitate to pm me.