Can someone explain the many gender thing to me?

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I do acknowledge your experience along with anyone else who has gender dysphoria, it's a mental illness. Those with mental illnesses need a cure, and that cure is not telling them oh lets just accept the issue. I have mental issues too, and I don't need a doc to tell me hey it's okay you have this illness. No I need a doc to try and fix me. Of course certain things we may never fix but tbh things like homosexuality are imo a choice. How do I know? Because I've been there and I chose to rise above it and live a straight life. I've had issues with my gender until I let it sink in that it's a mental illness and it's not normal. We are either a male or a female, there is no other gender, period.

I am sorry that you have those struggles, and I am sorry that you deal with those struggles by suppressing yourself. When I have my feelings of problems with myself they generally aren't the same so I have a very difficult even imagining what it's like to feel that way but it does make me sad to think about how much self-hate must be involved in that experience.

While I would admit that I agree that there is a problem that needs to be corrected for those with trans dysphoria, I do not agree with your perspective on the treatment and solution. There is much more joy in treating gender dysphoria with gender confirmation than there is with gender denial. Just like you say that you've experienced it and know it because of that, I can also say that my experience is why I know this to be true.

Homosexuality is a different thing entirely... The trick to that one is just to love whomever you love (or in the case of ace/aro not force yourself to try to pretend to love) and be happy. I don't want to minimize the struggle for gay people but the truth is most of the problems that they have are created by society generally perpetuated by the attitudes of people like you.

In the other thread you said:


And the reason why we must live our lives out loud and share who we are with the world and love whomever we chose to love is so that each generation can be a little less susceptible to the kind of self hate that you seem to be displaying in your arguments. So that we can live with less threat of violence and discrimination. So that we can help at least a few those with a perception that people should be coerced to live a life that conforms to your personal belief systems change their minds.

This will be the last of your messages that I reply to as I'd rather not continue to debate with someone whose mind I cannot change. I hope if there is pain caused by your points of view that you find a way to feel better.

It's BS, and that's the truth. I don't throw the word truth around. Look in nature including humans. Always two genders, male and female.

Last edited by Sea Breeze on 29 Jan 2018, 6:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

^do you think nonhuman animals are incapable of experiencing a sort of gender dysphoria?

sex organs are not genitals, and "gender" is too fuzzy to be associated with either as it is defined now.

i'm sure aliens would look at us, see that we have either penises or vaginas and come to the same conclusion.

You got a point, although it's just a technicality.

Why does it even bug people so much? Why can't I just use words to describe myself that help me to tell others who I am in a genuine way that explains my experience. I am not saying that anyone else has to be genderqueer, genderfluid, demi-boy, transwoman, etc etc... I am just saying that I know myself and that I have a way to describe who I am. At the most the only two things I am asking from others is to call me by my preferred name and pronouns (although I personally am pronoun indifferent)...

Unfortunately I know the reason... cognitive dissonance... but there is a cure to cognitive dissonance... it's called being open minded and learning new things outside of an assumptive world view

OK binary insisters, let me tell you about my situation.

If I fuel up my chainsaw and clear a huge tree that has fallen into my field... If I get the parts and repair my broken down farm tractor... If I build a shed to keep my farm tractor in... You probably say, yep those are manly pursuits. I must be male. On the other hand... If I go in the kitchen and fix dinner or bake rolls from yeast and flour, and then wash the dishes afterwards... If I sit down at the sewing machine and make a skirt suit... If I put on my best dress and make up and go out for the evening... Ah, womanly endeavors. I must be female.

I have done all of these things. Where then do you put me? This is why I like the expression genderfluid. Whatever I find I need to do, I find a way to do it. I don't really look at it as "this is something a man would do" or "a woman would do." Simply something I need to do.

Finally, since we are in the Adult Forum, I can propose the succinct expression:
One's sex is between their legs but their gender is between their ears.

Feel free to pm me if you have questions.

Ummm... This post isn't in the Adult Autism Issues section of the forums. If that's what you mean.

All I know is I identify as agender, and I'm not changing my chosen label just because some people want to prove how anti-SJW they are.

Kristaok: There is sex which is determined by genetics and with what organs you were born with and then there is gender, which is generally understood as the psychological part that is controlled by various hormones and that is not backed specifically by science that there is just male and female neurology as male and female as a concept of psychological sex is rather a sociocultural phenomenon that is not shared by all cultures. Gender beyond physical sex does not exist. Saying there are two genders is just as valid as saying there are 600 genders. It is equal because they are equally invalid as gender in the sense of roles and cultural behaviors is just a human invention.

Also people who say there are only two genders are ignorant of the broader picture and generally cannot contribute to a civilized discussion. There are actually three practical sexes though, male, female and in-between. Genders (the psychological aspect) is a completely different story. Genetically there are dozens of sexes as the 5% who dont fall under genetically female or genetically male tend to have an array or other chromosonal buildups.

No that stuff is just a stereotype that I havent seen anyone legitamately beleive in for 8+ years.

The more I learn about this it just seems more like people feel the need to overcomplicate things and label themselves on the off chance someone might follow an incorrect stereotype

Hermaphrodite?

Some species have more than two genders
Fungi have 36000.

More accurate would be Three Sexes, male, female and for around one in one thousand or one in two thousand, intersex.

That is in the body.

Then there is the whole more nuanced areas of gender, including that innate sense of being (usually) Masculine or feminine, occasionally neither or both or fluid, then in a small number of individuals being masculine (or feminine) but with body being female (or male).

The vast majority of the population has the good fortune of gender and body type aligning, body being clearly male or female, and probably no way of getting an idea of what it would feel to be one of the small number of people where that convenient alignment does not occur.

That is not a valid excuse for discounting bluntly the experience of such people.

There are four physical genders. Male / Female /Hermaphrodite (both) / Androgyny (neither)

Other gender concepts are mental. More research is needed to determine if brain functions or DNA affects the personalities of the people affected by those concepts. Lack of research makes no difference to the reality they experience.

I am a straight male.

Not really. There are two physical sexes. Male (46,XY) and Female (46,XX). Those in that dont fit in are known as chromosomal abnormalities, meaning they tend to be exceedingly rare and not common at all. Hermaphodite only describes having sexual organs of both regular sexes, however on a chromosomal perspective, no true fully functioning hermaphrodite (rarely does one organ function correctly with them) exists and usually multiple chromosomal irregularities fall under "hermaphrodite" or more accurately "pseudohermaphroditism". Androgyny is not a sex or physical gender as you call it. It is at most a trait that makes it hard to tell whether someone is male or female as it may be a male with a slender body or pretty face or a female with broad shoulders, short hair, deeper voice and non-traditional or combined mannerisms. Also androgyny can fall under "hermaphrodite/pseudohermaphrodite" but can also be under people who have hormonal irregularities such as a genetic male who has estrogen-dominance or a genetic female with androgen-dominance. I got XXY for example, I look very male though, yet have a rather light voice.