How Old Is Too Old to Still Be Questioning?

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I should likely reiterate. I'm hetero in real life encounters. There's no ambiguity.

It's only in my mind when I'm alone that I dissociate, and I'm not even present in the scenario. Kinsey asks a lot about fantasies or whatever, but I'm not in my fantasies even as another person, so I can't really answer all the questions. The dissociation likely has something to do with my history of sexual trauma, but I seem to remember it being the same even before my trauma experiences happened.

I got 4.1 on that Klein thing. I found it hard to answer the questions because I don't really have any solid preferences and I didn't get the "future" question. My preferences fluctuate a lot.

Yeah, I tried Klein as well. I can't answer the questions because of the "behaviour" question. It doesn't differentiate experiences which were non-consensual, or psychological reactions which are related to trauma. That's a huge flaw in the questionnaire, in my opinion.

Kinsey was nascnet (ie 1960's) human sexual psychology research. While its still brought up its not "industry standard." There are more effective tests out there that conform to the expanded understanding of human sexuality. In Kinsey's day there were only 3 options, gay/lesbian, varying degrees of bisexual, and heterosexual. Today we have entire spectrums such as homoromantic-asexual (a person who seeks emotional relationships but is sexually inclined) demisexual (an individual who doesn't experience sexual attraction until an emotional bond is first achieved) pansexual (a person attracted to all forms of gender/sex expression) and more. So Kinsey can be misleading.

Klein is a good resource and ONLY gauges sexual orientation and gender identity based on CONSENUSAL experience at the age of majority (18 in most western countries.) Klein excluded nonconsensual experience and experiences under the age of majority because those instances can and often are contrary to true sexual orientation and gender identity expression.

Most other tests out there are required to be administered by a licensed professional with at least a Masters in the field, ie a psychometrist or sexual health counsellor with training and licensure in the particular test they seek to administer.) These are usually administered though early in the gender affirmation transition process.

Ultimately though these tests are pretty useless because human sexuality is never concrete. It is fluid and fluctuates. So don't worry about what they say.

Its only too late when you stop breathing. Sexual Identity and Gender expression are fluid and will continue to evolve. In ASD, we mature later and often sexual and romantic relationships don't develop until long after NT individuals. Don't force the issue. Yes men are easier to engage, lets face it we're sluts. Men are also more hormonally driven. Studies show that typically, this is not universal, women are more pursuant of relationships where men seek experiences.

As for Kinsey, he's 70 years out of date. It was developed in 1947 on the premise of only three types of human sexual expression, Hetero, homo and bisexuality. It did not account for the vast spectrum that has been identified in the last 20 years. Kinsey also developed his scale on a sample size of only 8000 individuals. His research was also limited to a narrow geographic area in the American Midwest. While the historical value, being the first such study into "natural human sexual activity and expression" is important, we must consider new scales and interpretations of human sexuality. But even these scales are limited in what they present.

Human sexuality is incredibly complex. It is dynamic. It changes. Most importantly it cannot be quantified in a standardized test.

Yeah, I can't either, because it doesn't have a "nobody" option.

HOCD seems like a good explanation for questioning your sexuality. I’ve had HOCD on and off for a while. I’ve always been attracted to girls, but I get worried about being into guys. The idea of being attracted to guys or guys being attracted to me is so repulsive to me. I’ve recently been thinking gender issues might be confusing things. One thing that really repulses me is when guys see me as a girl. When they’re attracted to me that makes those gender issues even worse. So even if I do have potential attraction to guys, I don’t think being with guys is a good idea. I get turned on by gay male sex, but straight sex is extremely boring for me.

I'm a 52 year old man. After almost 50 years of thinking how to hide and manage my feelings of being attracted to males, it's been less than a year since I was able to admit to myself, without any hesitancy or regret, that I have been gay my whole life. After so many years of trying to deny and hide my sexual attractions, and trying to force feelings of sexual attraction toward women, all while trying to mask my autistic characteristics to better fit the world around me, it's been a welcome relief to admit my true sexual preference to myself, and then to others.

I came out as gay 3 weeks ago. The most important person in my life I needed to tell -- my female spouse of 21 years -- has been very supportive, and we are looking to remain very close friends for the foreseeable future. All of that wouldn't have come to pass if had decided I was too old to keep questioning. So, to answer "how old is too old?" I believe there's no age too old to still be questioning.

Holy s**t, that's huge! Congratulations on finally coming out! That's awesome that your spouse is so understanding.

Thank you for saying that!