Are asexuals part of the LGBTQ community?

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Had a discussion with a friend not too long ago, about whether or not asexuals should be considered a part of the LGBTQ community. I've seen them included before as part of the ever-expanding expanded acronym (the longest I've seen is LGBTQQAAI).

As much as I am all about inclusiveness, I'm aware of arguments and stances on both sides, both from aces and non-aces, and it's something I think about a lot. On one hand, they are a sexual minority that deal with some of the same issues regarding persecution and not fitting in. Many aces are queer in other ways, be it gender-non-conforming or trans or bi/panromantic. But what about heteromantic asexuals?

I have some ace friends but I'm not all that familiar with how the community-at-large feels, and I'd kind of like some additional perspective and see what other people think.

There's been active discussions on AVEN regarding it. From what Ive read and participated in, some hetero-romantic aces do consider themselves LGBT, some aromantics don't, otherwise there's mixed feelings across all identities. I consider myself LGBT for having "an attraction to both genders" as well as social behaviors regarding this plus added aspie difficulties regarding LGBT relationships.

There has been aces that have got into being recognized as LGBT, including the sites founder.

http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/8175 ... s/?hl=lgbt
http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/8148 ... try2291808

Instead of calling yourselves LGBTQQAAIAQMFPDQXYZ or whatever, why not just say "Other-Sexual" and leave it at that?

Just sayin', not hatin'...

I'm non-heteronormative.

Peace out!

Most people these days prefer the (mostly) all-encompassing "queer" label, including myself. But acknowledgement of the different groups is nice. Plus there's more to it than sexual identity, there's also also gender identity and expression.

It sounds like a rather silly idea to me.

Last edited by eric76 on 24 Dec 2012, 9:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm a lesbian but the relationships I have are for the purpose of love, not sex. Though I consider being intimate a potentially rewarding part of a romantic relationship, it's not the goal for me at all, so although I consider myself a lesbian, I really lean towards the asexual part of the spectrum when it comes to sexuality. I think being that way makes me look at asexuality as a necessary part of any sexual spectrum. I'd personally welcome anyone asexual without even a second thought. I don't think it's strange or that there's anything wrong with not feeling sexual desires and I have total respect for their differences.

There was this fantastic article I read on sexuality and romantic relationships a while back wherein it was stated that romantic desires exist separately from sexual ones. I have personally found this to be true in my life. I am a lesbian but have felt very drawn to one or two men -- not for the purpose of sex, though...not at all. I just really cared about them and until reading this article and understanding that it's possible to feel those desires separately, I found it very confusing, loving these individuals but feeling no sexual desire for them whatsoever. For that reason, I feel I can really understand (in my own way) what it must be like to be asexual -- that and when I was younger, I wasn't very sexual at all and much closer to asexuality. Just like anyone else, there is a desire for closeness and love, it just doesn't involve sex the same way sexual relationships involve it. Relationships are no less fulfilling for asexual individuals. It's just that their needs and desires are different. --It's like being vegetarian. You don't need meat in order to live, but you do need protein which just happens to be found in meat. Where you get the protein doesn't matter, though. As long as you get it, you're okay. Just like it doesn't matter where you get your fulfillment in a relationship -- from asexual interactions or sexual ones -- because as long as it's right for you and fulfills you, it's doing its job.

I think that when it comes to inclusiveness, the more the merrier. This is because we're all minorities that aren't respected, understood, given the freedoms and protections we deserve, nor are we recognized properly. As separate minorities, our voices are smaller and so is our reach and impact. United, though we may be different, we have more pull to make the world a better place for all of us. In other words, an underdog is an underdog to me...and thus, welcome...no matter how they identify...

"Are asexuals part of the LGBTQ community?"

No. We demand you stay in the straight community. Our community has a health club and Applebee's discount cards.

I'm not at all interested in having sex, but I can tell you right now that I'm not part of the LGBT community.

I'm sure at a formal level, asexuals are considered part of the queer communty. That said, the gay villages are so sexualized, it's honestly the last place I'd expect to find an asexual.

Whoa, do the queer folk not have a health club?

Can we all just get together and share the health club?

Well, I don't know. I was only interested in the Applebee's card.

I always say queer for the lot of us.

The only thing I would fear for including asexuals is that many of them will feel offended if the idea really takes off. Although I consider anyone who is actively involved in queer issues to have the option of being part of the queer community even if they are heterosexual.

My friend calls herself a heterosexual member of the queer community and I completely accept that.

I think it should pretty much be up to each individual asexual. Some of the asexuals might feel they don't belong to the majority (hetero) and may need somewhere to belong. And the LGBT community should be inclusive of anyone who feels they belong to it. Some other asexuals might not care about such things at all. In that case they don't need to belong anywhere. I'm not familiar with these issues at all. So please excuse me if I have made any offensive/inappropriate comment here.

That's a great point...one that actually makes me, as a lesbian, feel asexual by comparision. I can't stand how overly sexual a lot of those areas and venues are. I'm nothing like that at all...it always feels so alien to me. I mean, sex isn't the sole point of things, is it? --If it's not, why do they advertise things that way...

ok, so I think people who get into this whole asexual continuum thing would call me "demisexual". I don't claim it as part of my queerness because while being a trans woman can get you beaten to death in most of the world, being asexual or demisexual or aromantic or whatever is basically never going to make you see institutional oppression or put you at risk of violence. "I only want to have sex with you after we develop a close romantic connection" is liable to make your parents proud and make your pastor call you virtuous. half the saints of the christian church were acting asexuals, or at least celibate.

there are gay-bashers. there are people who try to rape lesbians into heterosexuality.* I know of a trans woman in South Carolina who was stabbed to death on the order of 50 times by someone who broke a window to get into her home and kill her, and the police ruled it "an accident while chopping vegetables" and never tried to find the killer. this was in the last decade.

I'm sorry, but asexuals may not be heteronormative, but the s**t they get for it is infinitesimally less intense than what members of the queer community get.

so sure, let's be friends, I'll buy you a drink, we can talk about how people don't get you, but inasmuch as the queer community is a marginalized community struggling to cope and overcome (real) oppression, no, asexuals et al are not part of that community.

*I realize that an asexual woman could face the same sort of danger of attack as a lesbian woman, but in my opinion this has everything to do with misogyny and nothing to do with asexual-phobia or whatever you would call it.

--

that said, if you define the queer community as "anyone who isn't completely heteronormative" then sure, asexuals count. I personally see the community as primarily a function of resistance to political and social oppression, not a club for all outsiders, but I can see why some might argue asexuals are also queer. however if you argue asexuals are systematically oppressed to the same degree as the rest of us and you will either get an earful from me or a MAJOR eyeroll, depending on my mood.