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largosan
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06 Jan 2013, 5:24 pm

My sexual preferences change at random. Occasionally I will exclusively attracted to men for months at a time, then be attracted to women exclusively for a short period of time. Other times I am attracted to both Men and Women for months at a time, or attracted to women for months at a time. Does this variable sexuality only occur with me, or have others also experienced it?


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JesseCat
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06 Jan 2013, 7:07 pm

This happened to me growing up, I was very confused about my sexuality. Sexuality isn't a fixed orientation, but rather something that can and will change over time.
I've identified as gay, straight, bisexual, and asexual all at different times.
After I learned I don't like sex and that I am aesthetically attracted to people instead of being sexually attracted to them, I identify more as asexual.
Don't get too hung up on labels, this identity confusion happens to a lot of other people, and in my experience, labels just complicate things.



Last edited by JesseCat on 06 Jan 2013, 10:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

IdahoRose
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06 Jan 2013, 7:12 pm

I understand how it is. I go through periods of time where I prefer one gender over the other that can last anywhere from days to months. My brother says I'm lucky to be attracted to both genders because it widens the dating pool for me, but I wish I could be attracted to only one gender because I get frustrated when I'm attracted to one gender for awhile and then switch and start liking the other.



Rorberyllium
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06 Jan 2013, 8:34 pm

For a lot of people sexuality is fluid and ever evolving. Really this is true of everybody to some extent.



largosan
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06 Jan 2013, 11:31 pm

Well, all of that does make me feel slightly more sane, so thank all of you.


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HarrisDE
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13 Jan 2013, 3:13 pm

My sexuality has not really changed much, until recently.

I've identified as gay since age 16, because for the most part, that's what made sense.

Over the past year, though, I find myself more attracted to females than I have been in the past, which is a bit confusing. And whereas some guys experiment with their male roommates when the mood hits, I have done so with female roommates, and I was totally into it. It's an odd reversal, to say the least. Also, I can really only get it going with straight porn, these days.

So, I get where you're coming from. I chalk it up to a change in tastes over time, like with other habits.

If you don't already, I might suggest listening to Dan Savage's podcast, the Savage LoveCast. This show has helped me make peace with the complexity of human sexuality by answering all the questions that I've had, and therefore, satisfied my confusion on the issue.

When it comes down to it, I think it's best to be open about one's sexuality with potential sexual/romantic partners on an as-needed basis, maybe explaining that your sexuality is fairly fluid, use that as a romantic filter of sorts, then work with whomever makes it past that filter.



MjrMajorMajor
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05 Feb 2013, 10:45 am

JesseCat wrote:
This happened to me growing up, I was very confused about my sexuality. Sexuality isn't a fixed orientation, but rather something that can and will change over time.
I've identified as gay, straight, bisexual, and asexual all at different times.
.


I still run into this at times. While I've been attracted to mostly men, every so often I find a woman that really blows me away. The women that I do like tend to have a lot of masculine qualities to them.



Chaos_Epoch
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05 Feb 2013, 9:55 pm

I know it sounds silly, with us all being aspies and all... but your sexuality is what it is and it does what it does. is it possible to just accept that?



khaos
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07 Feb 2013, 11:09 pm

I've heard of sexuality being very fluid and changing like that at will. Mine is fairly steady and doesn't change much. Still confusing though.


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Urist
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01 Mar 2013, 3:24 pm

Sexuality can be a very confusing thing. I'd simply recommend that you do what you feel works best for you. If it's necessary, try to pin down what your most consistent feelings are. They're most likely what you prefer to the greatest degree, but I really can't tell you what you like. You'll figure it out eventually, I'm sure.



goldfish21
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05 Mar 2013, 1:26 am

Just the nature of things.

Some animals even change sexes, ie some frogs, depending on what's needed for mating. So it's not so strange to think sexual attractions/orientations can switch up in people or other animals in the least bit.

I used to be attracted to both, but never equally or rapidly switching. I used to joke w/ one of my best friends back in high school that being bi meant I got to see twice as many hot people than he did. :p Nowadays I identify as gay, and rarely am sexually attracted to a girl at all - but I still can acknowledge when they're attractive, they just don't do anything for me in terms of sexual attraction. I guess I kinda chalk the bi tendencies up to not fully accepting being gay back when I was younger, although I was legitimately sexually attracted to some girls back then - soooo maybe I have transitioned from bi to full on gay over the years? *shrug* whatever, who cares? :D We all are who we are and like what we like, whether it's for a moment or for life - just accept yourself and roll with it and enjoy the ride, life's so much more fun that way. :)



bleh12345
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07 Mar 2013, 6:41 am

It sounds like your preferences just go back and forth, which I find to be quite common with Bisexual people. After all, preferences and sexuality can be fluid for many, many people. I am Pansexual, but I consider my preferences to change depending on current needs, interests, and situations I find myself in.



donothing1979
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23 Mar 2013, 9:33 pm

largosan wrote:
My sexual preferences change at random. Occasionally I will exclusively attracted to men for months at a time, then be attracted to women exclusively for a short period of time. Other times I am attracted to both Men and Women for months at a time, or attracted to women for months at a time. Does this variable sexuality only occur with me, or have others also experienced it?


you are not alone. switching to antipodean poles can be very taxing, and sometimes you'll feel like you're crazy, but you are not alone. just whatever you do: don't think that you're bad or wrong for being this way.



Ettina
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10 Apr 2013, 9:04 pm

That's part of the bisexual spectrum.

Some bisexuals don't care about gender when it comes to attraction, some feel different kinds of attraction for males vs females, and some vacillate in who they're attracted to.



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10 Apr 2013, 9:45 pm

This is normal . Sexuality and gender can be fluid . There are many terms that can be used to describe different expressions of attraction / identity ; omnisexual , pansexual, bisexual , queer , curious , fluid ...


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12 Apr 2013, 9:07 pm

It's normal. I'm gay and like men but can get turned on by daydreaming about a certain type of girl. For some reason, actually having sex with women does nothing for me, though and I've tried. It doesn't really matter; I'm not going to censor my thoughts or deny myself anything in order to fit in a label.