Lesbian/Gay Bi or other Queer Aspies(positive posts please)

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I wouldn't say it was easy for me to find someone, but I do consider myself lucky. I've only ever had one real relationship, and we've been together for quite a long time. I like this, because I like stability.

What I mean is where I live there is a lot of homophobia and gay bashing.

So its hard for me to even date the gay guys because a lot of them don't want to deal with the community.

i guess i totally lack gaydar, but aside from me, precisely how can you tell who are the gay ones unless they tell you they are gay? i've seen lotsa guys around here [in outer hooterville] who [IMO] have effeminate exteriors [and women with butch exteriors] but nevertheless they are paired with opposite gender partners.

Most definitely -- no talk, lots of reading, and I'd have to admit that I love the spiritual side of things -- pretty much me for the first 35 years of my life.

I am bi-sexual, and had 3 girlfriends up unto the time I was 35 (two of the relationships were for about 2 years, and the middle relationship was for about 4 years). I always only had closed relationships with women, and my mind is much at ease with that when with a woman. However, after my last girlfriend, I experimented with the gay scene.

Actually, the first bar I ever went to by myself was a gay bar, and I felt so out of place that I would not have continued if I hadn't found karaoke the next day. I have now had a somewhat tumultous live-in relationship with a gay male for the past 8 years now. I love the guy, but he is very emotional and I am very logical, and the two mix like water and oil. I almost just want to give up at times.

Personally, although I would want a partner relationship, I'd want an open relationship, at least when it is with a guy. Even though I only had closed relationships with women, and my mind was at ease with that, for some reason, my mind can't phathom that I should sexually be with just one guy. I want one guy to be my life-long mate and partner, but not my only sexual partner. Are there others out there who feel that way? My partner doesn't understand me, and I don't understand why he doesn't.

I lack gaydar too.

Hi All. Happy to find this thread.
I'm gay female - but relate a lot to what many others have posted here about never feeling a part of gay culture. Now that I figured out my autism, I can see why it is that I've never really felt ANY group identity beyond "living being". Although lately I'm starting to develop what might be the first as "autistic" . I've known I liked other females since i was 6 or 7. straight women have often been very attracted to me and vice versa. I like guys as friends better than women because its simpler, what to talk about or do, except that my best friend is my partner, formerly straight very aspie woman. Some guys look sexy to me but not in a way that makes me want to get mixed up in it. when I've had sex with men i've felt like i was engaging in some kind of recreational activity like jogging or something (which I also don't like).

it seems that absolutely nobody in this world can explain why some folk easily attract mates while other folk could not do so to save their lives.

not successful in the dating area ...
perhaps because I find women attractive...

but I have not been able to understand most women's behavior or conversation

I am a lesbian/asexual aspie. I am very attracted to woman, though almost strictly in an emotional sense. I have no interest in sex or even kissing for that matter. It is doubtful I will actually ever find myself in a real relationship, because sex appears to be an integral part of the gay community. I've yet to meet a lesbian who could tolerate being in a sexless or nearly sexless relationship. Oh well. I am content being single for now.

I am a married Lesbian (my wife is NT but very understanding of me). We've been together since 2002 and married since 2005. I feel blessed. It took me quite a while to come out ... and I am still coming out Aspie at this point. I feel coming out as a Lesbian was a bit easier.

Dated and was engaged to men before I came out. Always long-term relationships ended by me - didn't understand AS as I do now. It has really helped understanding myself and inflexibility at times ... and helps to have a wife who understands too.

I'm a 40 yr old Aspy lesbian, although I've only been out for a few years. oddly enough my last girlfriend was also as Aspy, we met before I was diagnosed, but we had a lot in common and an instant attraction.

Anyway Ive just been diagnosed and am wondering how it will play out in lesbian world. I hope it will mean a better understanding and acceptance of myself.

White nights I believe a lot of nt lesbians live in comfortably asexual relationships, I don't think your disinterest in sex would deter a lot of gay women in being into you.

I have had lots of issues attempting to be in a relationship. It is not from lack of attention from other people I simply actively refuse to be a part of any relationship. I mostly relate best to women. My longest relationship was with a woman. What I found out was that I am not attracted to any gender. I have been in a few relationships from either side of the field and they usually end due to my complete lack of empathy and not reading signs very well at all. What is very curious is despite my label of being an aspie I am amazing when it comes to flirting and am quite engaging in casual conversations. My biggest social issue is being in any kind of group. I get sensory overload and shutdown. I work in the medical industry and work with a lot of women. I am in process of being gender neutral. I wouldn't date any of the people I work with, primarily because they are all married and have kids. That would pretty much be the equivalent of the plague to me. I know I am generalizing here it’s mainly to make my stance clear. I am open to having a relationship with any gender but obviously it would be from a completely intellectual stand point. I am working very hard on not being so quick to shutdown people and instead try to kindle a relationship. I find chatting with people half way across the world easier then conversing with a group face to face.

I call myself bi, but asexual all the same, though I am a girl that feels like a guy inside. So I am not sure how to consider that being.. so sticking to bi. I'm equally attracted to both sides, mostly for intelligence. Never dated anyone before, either, so I can't really be sure. But when I see short, nerdy girls or redheads, I'm definitely attracted to them. I've never had the courage to do anything until now, because I am not interested in the sexual aspect of it, just the idea of having that feeling... and lately it's been bugging me more often. My dreams act out my feelings and I've seen myself cuddling with a chick. :p and I'm a guy or something, I have short hair and dress pretty neutrally, but have been getting more courageous wearing spikes and my black clothing, lookin all 80s retro meh.. I don't know what to do with myself..

Lesbian, in a 5 yr LTR ATm however i'd considered myself Bi (will swing for the right guy & have in the past)

I don't label myself, but I guess I'm pretty close to pansexual (I've told my family I'm bi, though, because I know that trying to explain my sexuality to them would be futile).

I first fell in love with a girl when I was 16. I'd say I was straight up until then; I had no interest in girls whatsoever until I suddenly found myself head over heels in love with one. My sexuality has changed gradually since then, and these days I still have a slight preference for guys, but I can be attracted to people of any gender.