Would You Date a Transsexual?

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Doubt it. I could probably spot you a mile away. Even looking at your avatar, it's obvious you're no Nicole Maines or Kim Petras, and NEVER were.

Jesus, that's...insensitive, to say the least...

Well, I'll admit to this: I, too, can be spotted a mile away by someone in the know.

Boy, am I enjoying this thread! I have this spark in my eye and clarity in my mind. I feel like Lord Voldemort, Kuja, and other villains, and I am absolutely enjoying the play on language I have been doing in this thread.

Being a villain is fun! I am currently watching the conversation between Harry Potter and Tom Marvolo Riddle at the end of Chamber of Secrets, in Japanese. Tom's voice runs through my head as a I write this!

Because you feel bad about yourself? Good. Let the butthurt flow through you.

Fnord is incredibly shallow and inconsistent, but I applaud him for admitting it.

But really, saying Mary is no Kim or Nicola really isn't saying much, because the latter two are much, much younger...

I have no idea how I will look if/when I transition. Sure, I plan on FFS, and I'm only 20 at the moment, so I haven't had decades of masculinisation, but I've still gone through a male puberty. Hence the technology R&D I plan on doing, to reverse it's effects on my skeleton (microresection using sonic drills?). At least I've got no visible Adams apple. My hands are in the overlap region I'd say between the norm of male and female. Those would be more difficult to modify, though I suppose I could remove them and replace them with cybernetics... nah, cybernetics aren't good enough yet. Maybe 3D bioprinted ones? The hardest parts to modify will probably be hands, feet, and hips, but if I start soon, the hips might still have some growth. Hmmm. Or I could figure out how to hack them to return to their pubertal growth stage (removing the caps..?).

I'm quite willing to agree I don't look like someone 20 or 30 years younger than I am. I'm not really working on appearing female, I'm just myself and people who have previous experience with trans-women and are looking for signs can see them. People in general can't.

I have an online friend I have never seen. I would be quite happy to have a relationship with her because I'm attracted to her personality. I do know that she actually lives in a male body but that's not the point.

Just wait until they reach Mary's age and compare.

Fnord really is quite correct, when it comes to starting hormones after puberty is over, at least.

Back in the mid- to late 90s my dad considered moving to the Netherlands, where I know around that time they began to help young transgender people transition, but my dad chose a backward town in a backward state instead. I began to undergo mental deterioration at the start of puberty and had to be hospitalized for psychosis for 6 months. While in the hospital, we watched Ace Ventura and I first associated my feelings with those of the violently psycho and swore to put both my psychosis and transgenderism behind me.

This did not last, and I wanted to transition, but I had no support. I knew I could not move out of my parents' house because I knew I could not survive yet, doing that. My parents were against me. Insurance was against me. Society offered no help that I knew how to use.

Either way, I spent the critical part of my adolescence dealing with severe mental illness. Them's the shakes.

I then started reading GenderTrender and in some cases reading that was like looking in a mirror. Most people who transition as adults really are sick and terrible people, and I wonder if the major medical organizations erred by falling to political pressure to uphold transition. I look on obviously male transwomen with disgust and I do not trust anyone who uses female pronouns with me, as it is clear they are just forcing themselves to speak in a way that is not natural.

I also want to make sure that such obviously trans people don't continue to live under false beliefs of likeness of another sex.

No further step of transition will help me. As I undergo another mental deterioration, it becomes clear that I've missed the boat.

I think I would make the perfect poster child for Gallus Mag.

I've read that post-transition people have a higher rate of suicide than non-trans-people. Unfortunately, the numbers seem to vary from +10% to +40%, so no links. There seems to be some correlation between the alleged rate and the relative success of the transition, though.

You're right, though. It would be harder to "out" a trans-person if they had begun hormone therapy before puberty. The Catch-22 is that unless the person lives in an exceptionally progressive society, there is little chance that a person as young a 8 (yes, puberty does start that early for some people), would be taken seriously if they declare their desire to transition. The declaration would likely be dismissed as "penis envy" or a desire to cross-dress.

https://gendertrender.wordpress.com/201 ... ment-47101

Oh boy, I would be such a poster child for these people were they to find out what I did in response to my delusions at age 14. I, too, cannot escape this. Though I have never been a violent sex offender and have never been convicted of a felony, I would still match, as I initially faced a charge of aggravated assault which was deferred due to mental illness.



https://gendertrender.wordpress.com/201 ... ment-47101

As I undergo another mental deterioration, I wonder how much will have changed at this point?

This thread has taken a particularly dark and unpleasant turn . . .

OK there is more to life than spellings, there is something which Beneficii might want to consider. What if Fnord does not want to date a transsexual, the thing is that he is free to do what he likes within the law. That freedom also includes a freedom (within the law) not to do something, just becuase he is allowed to do something by law does not mean he has to do it.

It is also noteworthy that tricking a person into some form of sexual activity with someone who is not what the tricked person thinks they are is something which is deeply wrong, in some cases it is a crime. If a transsexual person wants a relationship then I think that they need to be honest with their partner from the start.

If a person is not honest with a new lover then things can go wrong in a very horrible way.

Consider the case of http://metro.co.uk/2008/07/31/duped-lov ... er-328943/ , and also I know about where a woman in drag had a go at picking up a gay man (who thought he was talking to a man in a bar) for some perverse kick. (which was wrong)

I agree. I don't care what surgical alterations and hormones you've had. If you were born male, then God damn it, you better tell males you date that you're male. If not, then don't whine when he decides to murder you!

I think people *should* tell their partners if they're trans*, because relationships need to be based on openness and trust. You shouldn't go into a relationship hiding a really important part of yourself from the other person...

I think it was Marquis de Sade who said something along the lines of 'it shows little affection for people if you keep essential truths hidden for them, whatever the consequences may be' ...

It certainly seems to be applicable under the concept of "Full Disclosure". I mean, if a woman is barren or if a man is impotent or sterile, then these are conditions that should be disclosed to a potential marriage partner, right? Does it matter if the condition is a birth defect, the result of medication and/or medical procedures, or caused by an infection? Doesn't the person that you are vowing to love, honor and respect under all conditions for the rest of your life somehow deserve to not only know that you can't become a parent by natural means, but why? Shouldn't this disclosure come before an engagement is made and the vows are spoken?

If a trans-person is hoping for full acceptance after making a full disclosure, then they may be sorely disappointed, and more often than not. I am not the only person in the world who believes "Once a man, always a man" no matter how much estrogen and progesterone a man receives, or however skillful his cosmetic surgeon may be; and just because someone could date a trans-person, it does not mean that they should.

I am sorry that some people will be offended by the previous paragraph. It is not my intent to insult anyone, and I feel no hatred toward trans-people, either. I am just pointing what should be obvious - just because someone wants to be accepted for whatever identity they have for themselves, it does not mean that anyone else must accept them under that identity, as well ... unless of course there is some legally enforced acceptance of that identity, such as in education, employment, housing, et cetera.

So if you believe yourself to be one thing, and everyone else accepts you only as something else, then that is just something that you have to deal with, one way or another.

If you know you're infertile, you should disclose it to your fiance. There needs to be a period between getting engaged and confirming the engagement during which such things are discussed.

As far as the acceptance of others go, some people accept transwomen as women, others consider us men. So it's not really "everyone else". What we have here is a case where different people are using a slightly different language. But that's what happens when you conflate the various types of sex into a single fuzzy type. No-one denies that (most) transwomen are chromosomally male. The trouble comes when you conflate that type of sex with the other types, such as neurological.