Transgendered, Bi-genderd and aspergers, answers please

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i'm kind of interested in the term "gender confusion." it's true--i've floated back and forth between "masculine" and "feminine" expressions since i can remember. but i really don't feel confused. i feel pretty content with it all, and happy that i can still cut wood, climb trees (even though i'm an adult), be a bit of a daredevil, etc., etc. and yet lipstick!! ! how fun is that?

i'm kind of glad to know it's an AS/ASD trait--or at least fairly common. i like it.

I sway from feeling female and male every second of the day....I look old fashioned female ,but only dress that way as its what I feel most comfortable in....would dress more androgynous if I believed I could pull it off....I recently became best friends with someone transgender (female to male) and so its good to have someone to discuss it with....I feel like I would go through with things if I had the guts ,but I don't think I could.Guess I'm gender confused.I think my friend might be aspie though which was mis diagnosed as manic depression...

I can relate to this.

I have at times been very uncomfortable with people who came onto me because of my physicality...the more important it seemed to them as an aspect of my identity the more I knew they weren't going to deal well with this whole other person inside me who is more really who I am.

Some people are actually born with two genders. People who are intersexed have both male & female chromosomes & sometimes, male & female body parts. I'm sure that some of those people are on the autism spectrum, so certainly a person can be both bi-gendered & autistic.

Intersexed people either have both male and female attributes, neither male nor female attributes, or in between male and female attributes. Or grow up seemingly with all one but hit puberty and either nothing usual happens or end up with attributes of the "opposite" sex.

But being intersexed is about sex. Not gender. Sex is a physical attribute of the body. Gender is how people feel inside.

It's totally possible to be autistic and transgenderwd in absolutely any direction. FTM, MTF, and all the other possibilities, I have met autistic people of all those sorts.

Personally I'm nongendered. I have no gender. Gender makes no sense to me. I am not trans of any variety, and I'm not cisgendered ("normal" gender identification).

Gore Vidal once commented that:

'The only unnatural sex act is one that you YOURSELF cannot perform'

I am male, mid-forties and I do not feel that I have an orientation - the people I find (sexually) attractive could be either gender. I get the sense from this forum that male people with Asperger's are more receptive to their gay / bisexual feelings than men in general.

*raises hand*

Born biologically male, transgendered (I live as female), with bigender tendencies. Do I win anything?

This is how I see it as well. Although I have a degree of boyishness in me (I'm female BTW) I can't relate to either gender.

I think it's common. This is taken from the intro to "Women from another planet? Our lives in the universe of autism" by Jean Kearns Miller:



It seems to me that gender is a spectrum, with the extreme male in one end and extreme female in the other. Yet you'll find both men and women all over that spectrum, plus some that might seem to be off that spectrum altogether. So why can't people just be allowed to be individuals they are?

In Patricia C Wrede's fantasy "Dealing with dragons" princess Cimorene hates all the 'girlie' education she is put through, sewing and the like. What she enjoys is sword practice. Her father the king is concerned and says that it is not appropriate for a princess to fight with swords, it's not what they do. Cimorene says something in the line of *But am I not a princess?'
the king thinks he has persuaded her and says 'you most certainly are'.
'Well, I'm a princess and I fight with swords so that's what princesses do' is Cimorene's reply.
I nearly had to put the book down to applaud when I read that part. XD

I don't have anything intelligent to add to this thread, but I'm glad to see so many people who can relate to this because my own gender issues have caused me a fair amount of stress in my life. It's just nice to know I'm not alone, and also that it's somewhat common among AS folk (not that I'm even completely sure if I have AS, but still).

The term "intersexed" applies to the physical body of the person, not the act of sex, itself. The term applies to anyone, regardless of the gender they feel themselves to be inside. If a person feels male inside, or female inside, or both inside, or neither inside, they are still considered intersexed if the physical bodies they are born with contain properties of both sexes.

not enough chices

In your first post in the thread, you seemed to be confusing gender with biological sex. I think anbuend's post was clear in addressing this. Intersex is about sex; biological sex is frequently described as just sex.

I have only recently been diagnosed with Aspergers and not been diagnosed with bi gender but as I've got older, more I've become wishing I wasn't a woman. As I've not had a good child hood and not got any guy friends to which I used to be closer to them than I was with women but then went to an all girls school and that changed. I have fancied a couple of girls to which none of my friends and family knows about but when I see a guy I fancy I get obsessed without meaning to plus only dated a couple of guys and no girls lol. But I've never found a nice guy to point I've hated their guts and I've never liked my womanly body and always said I want a hysterectomy I hate my body so much to which also made me realize I am jealous of guys having the body they have and not having the problems being a girl and also with what they can say and be able to say it without 'oh you shouldn't be saying that'. So I can relate with the bi gender as I am a girly girl at heart and always will be but act more immature as a guy with looking like a girl ie long blonde hair, naturally thin .... and always will be for rest of my life

Sorry if this has no meaning for this topic but from my interpretation it does lol.

I have struggled with feeling like I am male and female my whole life. I recently came to terms with the fact that sometimes I feel male, sometimes female, but usually I don't feel like I am either. Its not that I am "genderless" but that I am mostly a "third gender". I am 23 and was just diagnosed with Aspergers. I have been rather shocked by all the things in my life that are "explained". Such as my odd gait, feeling like I am stupid when my IQ is high, not being able to process gluten or casein, social problems, my bipolarism and mood disorders, and sensory overloads. Gender issues, however surprises me. I'm kinda glad that there are other people out there like me and i'm not that weird or odd after all.

I spend a lot of time at the bigender form.... bigender. org. we always welcome the addition of new people that share this rare gift.

I don't know about transgender, but I DO believe there is more of a proliferation of gay/bi/bi-curiousity in female Aspies than NT. I think it also has to do with the levels of testosterone produced in the womb. Autism is significantly more of a male-brain phenomenon and it might be interesting to note the number of straight female Aspies vs. LGBT.