auntblabby wrote:
Zen wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Zen wrote:
That's crazy talk. 40 is just getting good.
youth and optimum health are the primary currency in the gay male world.
Well that's pretty shallow, isn't it? No wonder I never much cared for that culture.
you are correct, it is shallow but it is what it is, and it hasn't changed much in modern times. scratch that, it hasn't changed one bit in modern times. if anything, people are even more hypercritical of appearances now than they were just a decade earlier. it is all about exterior things, all about presentation- concern with appearances above all, previously was strictly an upper-class meme, but much upper-class decadence has been visited upon the lower classes which gives new meaning to the phrase "trickle down theory."
my geeky self does not benefit in the least with this situation. even when i was younger and prettier, i still didn't pass muster, because no matter how much i worked out, i just wasn't genetically gifted with the right stuff of physical symmetry. i was and shall always be made of irregular, left-over parts. as for caring about that culture, part of me wished i was invited to their party. a large part of me. but to save face, i would also say that i would not join any group that wouldn't have me.
In my experience, this is largely correct, but I don't think it's all there is to it; I myself am young, healthy, clean, thin, and so forth, but I'm avoided like the plague nonetheless. I'm not sure I've ever met another gay who didn't come to hate me almost immediately. It's probably just my fault, but it does go to show that personality probably matters at least a little, in that mine is repulsive enough to overcome a perfectly acceptable exterior. I've seen some pretty ugly guys manage to roll through new guys every week, too. It makes me wonder how they meet all these people in the first place, when I can't even think of five local gay people with whom I am on speaking terms.
With regards to the original post, I feel I'm too disagreeable a person to ever have any kind of a lasting relationship, which is a shame, because nothing else is particularly interesting to me. It'd be nice if I found a boyfriend, but it's not likely to happen.