Do you feel like you'll never have a boyfriend/girlfriend?

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auntblabby
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17 Mar 2011, 10:57 pm

Zen wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Zen wrote:
That's crazy talk. 40 is just getting good. :lol:


youth and optimum health are the primary currency in the gay male world.

Well that's pretty shallow, isn't it? No wonder I never much cared for that culture.


you are correct, it is shallow but it is what it is, and it hasn't changed much in modern times. scratch that, it hasn't changed one bit in modern times. if anything, people are even more hypercritical of appearances now than they were just a decade earlier. it is all about exterior things, all about presentation- concern with appearances above all, previously was strictly an upper-class meme, but much upper-class decadence has been visited upon the lower classes which gives new meaning to the phrase "trickle down theory."
my geeky self does not benefit in the least with this situation. even when i was younger and prettier, i still didn't pass muster, because no matter how much i worked out, i just wasn't genetically gifted with the right stuff of physical symmetry. i was and shall always be made of irregular, left-over parts. as for caring about that culture, part of me wished i was invited to their party. a large part of me. but to save face, i would also say that i would not join any group that wouldn't have me. :roll:



Imapanda
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26 Mar 2011, 7:59 am

I'm actually kind of upset I messed up high school so bad that I never had a chance. I'm a bit more confident and social now, How are the chances in College/Universities compared to High School? I'm assuming much higher since College is more of a personal thing than high school?

I'm turning 19 in little over a month.



Mootoo
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27 Mar 2011, 7:16 pm

I've screwed up not only all my chances to get anyone, but never even tried, and my whole life is screwed up too. So unless a miracle happens (or I experiment with dating sites more, but somehow they all seem like a scam) I'm not sure I have much hope.



dkittens
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01 Apr 2011, 5:08 pm

I used to think that I would never have a girlfriend until I met the perfect someone for me. She probably has a form of autism (a lot milder than me) and she accepts me for who I actually am. She is the only one I really care about (and my cats, of course). I was just lucky enough to catch her.


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liil
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10 Apr 2011, 3:20 am

I'ma lesbian and I have something similar to asperger syndrome in french official words ( dysharmonie evolutive ) since I am a child and I had a psichotic outbreak two years ago ( I m still on meds) , I was put out of the local gay association of my city because they told me people taugh I was strange and because of the side effects of my medication ( being sleepy and vomiting and drinking a lot of water), they thougth I had schizophrenia ( wich is not the case according to my psychiatrist) , 4 years ago I was also put out of a gay association because one of the reponsable thougth I was giving a bad image of gay and lesbian people does that kind of stuff only happens to me or does it happen to other people in the gay underground ?



auntblabby
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10 Apr 2011, 5:51 am

hiya, Liil :) bienvenue sur la Planète Mauvaise! 8)



visagrunt
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11 Apr 2011, 12:43 pm

auntblabby wrote:
youth and optimum health are the primary currency in the gay male world.


Since when did we start allowing the twinks to define what constitutes the gay male world?

The gay community is having to come to terms with a whole new set of issues: we now have lesbian and gay seniors. We have a generation of men who never expected to survive the eighties who now have every prospect of living into their eighties.

We need to start developing retirement living options of LGBT seniors.
We need to start doing the work of preserving the culture that grew between WWII and Stonewall.

And most of all, we need to start creating the a culture that recognizes that being gay is lifelong, not just ages 16-29.


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Amaranth
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24 Apr 2011, 5:01 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Zen wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Zen wrote:
That's crazy talk. 40 is just getting good. :lol:


youth and optimum health are the primary currency in the gay male world.

Well that's pretty shallow, isn't it? No wonder I never much cared for that culture.


you are correct, it is shallow but it is what it is, and it hasn't changed much in modern times. scratch that, it hasn't changed one bit in modern times. if anything, people are even more hypercritical of appearances now than they were just a decade earlier. it is all about exterior things, all about presentation- concern with appearances above all, previously was strictly an upper-class meme, but much upper-class decadence has been visited upon the lower classes which gives new meaning to the phrase "trickle down theory."
my geeky self does not benefit in the least with this situation. even when i was younger and prettier, i still didn't pass muster, because no matter how much i worked out, i just wasn't genetically gifted with the right stuff of physical symmetry. i was and shall always be made of irregular, left-over parts. as for caring about that culture, part of me wished i was invited to their party. a large part of me. but to save face, i would also say that i would not join any group that wouldn't have me. :roll:


In my experience, this is largely correct, but I don't think it's all there is to it; I myself am young, healthy, clean, thin, and so forth, but I'm avoided like the plague nonetheless. I'm not sure I've ever met another gay who didn't come to hate me almost immediately. It's probably just my fault, but it does go to show that personality probably matters at least a little, in that mine is repulsive enough to overcome a perfectly acceptable exterior. I've seen some pretty ugly guys manage to roll through new guys every week, too. It makes me wonder how they meet all these people in the first place, when I can't even think of five local gay people with whom I am on speaking terms.

With regards to the original post, I feel I'm too disagreeable a person to ever have any kind of a lasting relationship, which is a shame, because nothing else is particularly interesting to me. It'd be nice if I found a boyfriend, but it's not likely to happen.



Zen
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24 Apr 2011, 6:12 pm

Amaranth wrote:
I've seen some pretty ugly guys manage to roll through new guys every week, too. It makes me wonder how they meet all these people in the first place, when I can't even think of five local gay people with whom I am on speaking terms.

I find this to be the case across the board--gay, straight, whatever. I find this to be the case even when talking about just friend relationships. Whatever the magic formula is, I don't know it.



Verdandi
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24 Apr 2011, 6:22 pm

It probably doesn't help that I keep redefining my gender and orientation in ways that shrink my potential dating pool.

I have had relationships in the past, but for some reason those didn't mesh well. I also missed a lot of people flirting with me.

All things considered, though, I would say having a relationship is far from my top priority. I am not even sure it is a priority.