Heteronormativity

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Why do people think it's a choice and that it's taboo? Why do parents wonder what they did wrong if their child comes out?

Guess who's coming to dinner? It's really easy to be a vocal proponent of progressive ideas... except when it comes bursting through your front door. Then the true character shows.

Again, you are too logical. Maybe you will understand when you are older, but I'll put it this way. You are asking good questions. The majority of people don't ask ANY questions, and the ones they do ask are much more complicated than they should be. Now, I know you might say "Well, what other questions could I possibly have?" and I wouldn't disagree with you, but remember what we are talking about here. The fact that people think it's a conscious choice should tell you a lot. When people are afraid of what they might find, they tend to refrain from probing an issue. You are not afraid. Most people are cowards.

As for the answer to your question, it's because of our religious roots. We are still a nation attached to Puritan values and Christianity, and the Bible clearly states that gays are not to be tolerated. Even though you could argue that God is part gay because he is irrationally afraid of gay people, that argument would be wrong, because God is always right. And God hates the gays, so that means you should too. If you don't, then God will send you to hell...after you die of course. How do we know that? Because God said so. Well, do we have anyone that can provide a clear link between the living and God's kingdom up in heaven? The Bible says so. Don't question the Bible. You are not smarter than God is. But why did God create gays if he hates them? Don't question God. It's un-Christian. But I'm not Christian! Then...DIE!! !

Have I confused you yet? For a much simpler answer, read the comment above this one.

1: I'm Jewish, and we're taught to question G-d.
2: I find some parts of religion irrational, even my own religion.
3: The quote "you shall not lie with a man as you lie with a woman" (from the Bible, I'm not sure with part) only bans a specific type of sex between two males, NOT emotion between anyone in general.
Let's see how anyone will refute THAT!

Now this, this is confusing!

Why wouldn't it have the reverse effect?

Now I doubt homophobic parents think it out this much, but seeing gay couples on television could eventually result in their children coming out to them. Why? Although it obviously won't cause them to have this attraction when they otherwise wouldn't, seeing same sex relationships on TV would show that there is nothing wrong with that. Therefore these children, once becoming teenagers, would be less likely to suppress it.

On another note, if I ever raise children I am most definitely going to alter some fairy tales and other stories I tell them to include same-sex couples. And maybe reverse the gender roles is a few others. Why couldn't the brave princess fight the dragon and rescue the prince sometimes?

You aren't giving them enough credit. Irrational and bigoted =/= dumb.

I've been personally told this BY homophobic parents. I wouldn't presume to say this is the cause otherwise.

But yes, homo-normalcy would result in more openly gay people and that is exactly what the opposition is afraid of.

What is so fearful about homo-normalcy?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Oh, and I WISH people would reverse gender roles and include same-sex couples in stories!

Like I said, they know homo-normalcy will result in more openly gay people within the population. Since they don't like us for various reasons, this is obviously bad to them.

There are too many things about their ideals that confuse me.

How will Christians/other seemingly puritanical people (this doesn't apply to everyone) think when I refute their homophobia with "the Bible only bans a specific type of sex - men can do ANY other kind and can feel love, and so can women, so shove THAT in your sermon and speak it!"

How would the demographic named above react when I question God's intentions.

What the Bible actually says is a major source of contention within the Christian community. While many have said it states exactly what you've said, many others have had a far more liberal interpretation.

I can't relate to that. I'm Jewish going on Atheist so I question religion quite frequently. Why are there homophobics? Why do people think that just because the Bible says it's right, it is? People don't stone others anymore, so why the homophobia?

I'm with you on this. I was raised in a Mormon environment and annoyed the crap out of all the adults with questions they simply couldn't answer.

There comes a point when you just throw your hands up and give up trying to understand it through others.

Look how far we have come in the last 40 years, though.

Once upon a time, the Hayes Code prohibited anything but the most coded references to homosexuality (if you have not watched it, The Celluloid Closet is an important documentary on the subject).

Today's world is not perfect, but each year there is an ever increasing body of gay and lesbian iconography in popular culture. We have our heroes and heroines, and each year their lives become ever more normative. It is not an instant process, but the progress is readily apparent.

I'm assuming you've never seen the movie "Guess who's coming to dinner?" Made in 1968. You should watch it. It's a good example of what you are looking for, except it's about a woman getting married to a black man, and inviting him home for dinner with her parents. There was a remake a few years back, with Bernie Mac and Ashton Kutcher, called "Guess Who?" but it wasn't quite the same. Rent it, and it will explain it better than I can.

Most people who are like this aren't terribly bright or brave. They've found something to put their absolute faith in. This thing should apply to everyone, because it's that good and just and absolute. The absolute part is what gives them comfort, the certainty holds their world together. But a lot of the things, they know on some level they don't make much sense, they know that today they don't burn an ox to please the lord as the bible says they should do... but they overlook them because if they acknowledge some things don't make sense it breaks the illusion. The certainty that they are good people because this book tells them they are, that what they do must be just, that will be gone. They'd have to face the doubt and uncertainty. You can tell by the anger they exhibit when you point these areas out to them, they become furious and flat out refuse to listen OR explain why that verse applies in modern times, but this other one does not.

Most people are scared, terrified even, of uncertainty, of difference, of feeling the world changing, not knowing 'what's my role here?', losing their status to someone else - someone different even, whom they feel is inferior to them because they believe different things. The idea of change is repugnant, everything was working fine for them, so why do we need to change anything? For many putting their entire faith into the bible (heck, or any philosophy, religion or fixed rigid mindset) and just turning a blind eye to any of the parts that don't fit what they want the world to be lets them be at ease. It lets them be special, chosen, better even because they're not just doing the right thing but 'suffering' through persecution (not being allowed to persecute others apparently is being persecuted to a lot of people like that) while doing God's work.

Why they picked homosexuality? Well, it was one of the things that were left. In the 60s those kind of people were against black people, now most of society's rejected those values to a point of revulsion - the stigma of being openly racist is so great most people won't do it, it offers them no protection or acceptance. Before that you can look at women's rights to vote, slavery, democracy, and so on. If the current system values you but you feel insecure because you see how easily it can reject and destroy those it doesn't... a lot of people will fight to protect that system out of fear. Fear of losing what they have, fear of change, fear that if they don't hold on to that system in which they're valued what they did/they've seen done to others will be done to them.