How do you feel certain about your sexuality?

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Maybe your romantically attracted to both sexes biromantic but only sexually attracted to women Would you like to have an asexual relationship with a man?

When I was in grade one or two. I remember I used to fantasize about another girl naked. I enjoyed this and I didn't understand why. I really wanted to see her naked. I knew it would be inappropriate to peek at her. I knew about same sex couples, but I didn't know about homosexuality and homophobia. I just assumed everyone was bisexual. When I was twelve I was worried that I was noticing girls, but I wasn't really noticing boys as much. I was terrified of being a lesbian. I tried to "change" my sexuality because I though have AS was "bad enough." I had a crush on the class clown in grade seven. He wasn't that hot and he was immature. I never asked him out and he didn't like me. I also had a crush on a girl in grade nine. I was happy when I found out she was lesbian. I knew I was out of her league. She had history of being into drugs. I wanted to know my sexuality badly so I watched porn. I watched gay, straight and lesbian porn. I didn't really enjoy lesbian porn. I thought straight porn was ok. I enjoyed gay porn a lot. That just made me more confused. I've come to the conclusion that lesbian porn just sucks. I identify as bisexual now. It was hard to know because I'm not much of a "crusher." I'm not sure if that has to do with AS or just being isolated. I don't believe you need "experience" to know your sexuality. I still don't know my sexual preference, but I don't believe that's important now.

I think I've read somewhere that most lesbians do not enjoy lesbian porn, because it's made for a straight male audience and is not designed to be enjoyable for females.

Well, I don't feel certain... I just go with my intuition and feelings, which seem to point at bisexuality that's swung between the extremes of being very hetero and very much wanting to be a gay bottom. Very confusing, which I guess can be part of being bisexual in a world that says you are one thing or the other.

I enjoy it to an extent, but I can think of lots of ways to improve it.

I've on and off had special interests in male rockstars, but not in a sexual way. I see it as a gender-flipped version of gay icons like Judy Garland and Madonna. One of the rockstars I liked for a while was Morrissey, and he already sort of is a lesbian icon. I also got obsessed with Ray Davies and Lou Reed, but it was more in a wanting to be like them way. I'm actually sort of embarrassed by it because people might think I fancy them. I can identify with that a lot.

The one I'm most embarrassed by is the Pete Townshend obsession I had a few years back (which was even after the kiddie porn scandal).
It was really about his intelligence and songwriting but people thought I liked perverted old men.

I mean, I do like men sexually (but not as much as I like women). I don't have a thing for 60s rock stars.

I feel very certin about in fact you will find that Bigender men and women are a very small minority in the LGBT community and that most of us are viewed as being transgendered I have been bigender since I turned 21 that's when I knew that I was.

I'm the same way. That doesn't make you asexual. People are innately attracted to people, not to their reproductive organs. If you were to show a straight person who had never seen the reproductive organs of the opposite sex before a picture showing just those said parts, and no other surrounding parts of the body, most would not be turned on.

What matters is whether or not you're physically attracted to people, not whether you want to have sex with them.

Oddly enough, I was pretty completely bisexual before I hit puberty, but after puberty, I started leaning towards girls more and more. I don't know if it was society that did it, or hormones, or what. Now I'm mostly straight, but I can appreciate the looks of some of the more feminine looking guys.

I'm quite certain about my bisexuality and it dates back to when I was about 18. Through my adult life, I have gone through periods of trying to repress my gay side as well as times of feeling more gay than straight. It's not necessarily confusing, but it has always been a source of great inner turmoil. Even now, with a rewarding and successful long-term straight marriage to an amazing and highly attractive woman, I have to deal with my attraction to men on a daily basis. At the moment, my gay feelings are quite intense and yet I know pursuing those feelings aren't an acceptable option within the structure of my life. Over the last couple of years, I have gotten better at being honest with myself about my bisexuality and have found that talking or writing about it is very good for my overall mental health. So yeah, bi is what I am.

Well, I think I'm somewhat bisexual, but I'm pretty indecisive about it - like, I can sometimes really want to have sex with males, and at times really want to have sex with females. It varies greatly for me.

As far as sexual attraction goes, it is a definite feeling for me. I'm absolutely sure that I feel attracted to many women (nobody feels attracted to all people of a particular sex, which makes statements like "I'm into women" a bit silly), some men, and many transgender and androgynous people.

But sexual attraction does not always translate well into practice. In my sexual encounters with other men, I've found that male scents and things like body hair are a huge turn-off for me. It was still exciting enough, but it was a very mixed experience. As far as scents, voices and body language are concerned, I'm far more attracted to women. I suppose that I was born heterosexual and developed a fetish for some male anatomical traits later on. But I still call myself bisexual or polysexual, because the sexual attraction is undeniably there.

Just a question, what's polysexual? Never heard of that before.

Polysexuals are not only attracted to people who fall into the two binary gender categories, but also to people who are somewhere between the sexes or have traits of both sexes (such as transgenders or androgynes).

Many people use the term "omnisexual" instead, but omni literally means "all". I don't think anybody is sexually attracted to all people regardless of attractiveness or age. Poly means "many", which makes more sense in this case, imho.

PS: Polysexuality does not always include bisexuality. Some polysexuals are attracted to biological women, M2F transgenders and feminine male crossdressers, but not to men who look, dress and act according to the male gender stereotype.

I know how you feel.

I never identified with a label, maybe that's my problem. ^^


This kind of confusion is the reason why I wouldn't label myself as "asexual", even though it's a lot about how I have spent the last 23 years of my life. Relationships to me mostly feel like an obligation (you know, like getting married, having children, buying a car and a house) rather than something I'd desire personally.

My experience is very similar to the one above.
I sometimes do have romantic fantasies about having a boyfriend or husband but never in a sexual way. I've only fallen in love 2 times and both persons were guys but I didn't feel sexually or physically attracted to them in any way. One of them was aesthetically pleasing but that was that. I don't think I would like to be with a man in a sexual way. Romantically, emotionally and intellectually...very much so.

But, on the other hand,...if I ever look at adult stuff (which I rarely do) it's about women. They can be aesthetically and physically interesting to me. Much more so than men ;although I appreciate certain aesthetics in men, too...just not the genital parts whereas with women that's not a problem at all. I don't think I would like to be with a women either, though...sexually (but if I had to decide between men and women in this area, I'd choose women). And I know I've never fallen for a girl, I've never thought "what a beautiful mind, intresting person...", never thought of them romantically.

Further,...many people have thought of me as a lesbian or at least bi (straight, too but most people assume that about other people first, anyway). I've even had some women hit on me...I don't blame those people since I do like to look tomboyish a lot (sometimes I also wear a bit more femenine things, and if I wear a dress I always feel like I'm dressing up as someone else) and I'm a bit masculine in my mannerism at times. I'm kind of ambiguous gender-wise (there are times where I can and do want to look a bit femenine but most of the time I don't make that effort).
And... I know a thing or two about LGBT culture (more about the L though), more than the average person does...so I see why people would think of me like that.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm asexual and definitely (at least) romantically attracted to men. All the other things are very unclear and foggy to me. And as some people say "sexuality is fluid" so I would say, if I ever happen to actually turn out to be more like this or that.....it's okay.
But sometimes I wish I'd be more clear cut-on this like many other people seem to be.