I really hate Gay stereotypes

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joshkuthak
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17 Jun 2011, 8:03 pm

Zen wrote:

Oh dear. You live where I grew up, in which case I totally understand where you're coming from. I was called everything from the n-word (my school was completely white) to fag and was bullied nonstop, and I wasn't in any way "out". We moved to the city soon after I graduated high school, and it's a different world here.

Im glad that things are better for you and that people are more accepting in other places. Yeah ive heard a lot of kids in my school say the n word, and call people fags, and it makes me grind my teeth. Why must people use such horrible language towards another human being? Its wrong to hate someone just because of their color or sexual preference

greengeek
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17 Jun 2011, 9:49 pm

I wonder how they would like if the tables were turned and the straight people were acting like a stereotype, and the homo and bi people were acting not like the gay stereotype.

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MissConstrue
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17 Jun 2011, 10:02 pm

greengeek wrote:

I wonder how they would like if the tables were turned and the straight people were acting like a stereotype, and the homo and bi people were acting not like the gay stereotype.

Actually it happens a lot within the "straight culture". You're not a normal female if you're not attracted to a guy's wealth or macho attitude and you're not a normal guy if you're attracted to a woman who makes more money than you or is older or uglier. There's a lot of crap to deal with even when you're a heterosexual. People will always accept this notion that a gender rules out all the possibilities of what you should and shouldn't be attracted to or how should behave.

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joshkuthak
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17 Jun 2011, 10:56 pm

AstroGeek wrote:

If you're able to immigrate, Canada's also a good option. Gay marriage is allowed here (at least for now--our current government isn't a fan of it but if they know what's good for them they'll probably let it stay) and one of our major churches is quite open to gays (many others are going that direction too). We are GENERALLY more accepting than the states. Not to say that there aren't awful homophobes, just that there are fewer of them. Most people my age are very accepting. Mind you, I don't exactly hang out with a group representative of the general population. And those that are intolerant are very much so.

Oh, and Canada has a better health care system. If our government doesn't try and get rid of some of that too.

You know id probably be willing to take any country over the U.S.A, i hate our govenrnment and i hate the american society, canada might be nice, tell me how hard is it to become a citizen, also i do want to do a lot of traveling when i get older, so would it be easy for me to get a passport to leave canada and go to another country to visit?

greengeek
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17 Jun 2011, 11:04 pm

joshkuthak wrote:

AstroGeek wrote:

I call emigration from the United States defecting, as this country is becoming a combination of the Eastern Bloc without the benefits, and some backwards religious rule nation. It seems like every other First World nation is more advanced, freer, and more tolerant than the USA.

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auntblabby
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18 Jun 2011, 5:46 am

joshkuthak wrote:

in 1981, canada [due to fears of a mass influx of disgusted americans following reagan's election, right after the last influx of vietnam war draft dodgers] greatly stiffened their requirements for long-term residency of visiting americans. generally, if one doesn't have at least a 4-year college degree useful to canadian society [doctor, engineer et al], they will not let you live there, and they will make very few exceptions. [ALL the commonwealth nations are similar in this regard] otherwise i'd have moved up there in a heartbeat. even american visitors are carefully vetted before being allowed into the country. thousands were turned away at the last winter olympics, due to having various black marks on their criminal records [drunken driving, shoplifting, et al]. basically, they don't want any americans unless they are perfect.
click on this informative link for more specific canadian residence requirements

joshkuthak
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18 Jun 2011, 11:58 am

auntblabby wrote:

sounds like im not gonna get into canada any time soon

MissConstrue
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18 Jun 2011, 12:06 pm

Did you guys read this article----> http://www.thestar.com/news/article/100 ... anada?bn=1

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Fnord
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18 Jun 2011, 12:37 pm

If a man is gay, does he have to act just like a stereotyical gay man?

I mean, if being gay is just a matter of who you have sex with, then why put on the whole "limp-wristed, lisping, mincing walk" act when it is completely un-necessary? I live near Los Angeles, and there is a large LGBT population here, especially in Long Beach and West Hollywood. Many of the gay men "thpeak juthst like Thylvethster the Cat" and act like little girls going through their first period.

Most do not, however, and they tell me that they find faux-gay behavior both awful and strange.

If I were to act in the stereotypical straight-male way, then I'd have to treat women like sex toys, puff out my chest, strut around like a barnyard rooster, and try to intimidate every other man in sight - and in doing so, I'd look utterly ridiculous and possibly offend a lot of people.

Stereotypical behavior is stupid.

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19 Jun 2011, 3:56 am

gay stereotypes are rubbish. sure there are people who conform to that and that is ok- they are just being themselves- but saying that we all act that way is ridiculous. if it were true then people wouldn't have to ask if you were gay, people wouldn't assume you were het, married people wouldn't surprise their spouses by coming out, people wouldn't still assume you were straight despite the fact that you wear rainbow flag badges and same sex kiss badges, the concept of the closet would not exist. i hate it when people shove stereotypes in my face like it is the rule. having met so many same sex attracted people in my life i know it is impossible to pick them from the heterosexual. at times it is funny. i'm in the closet yet people who come up to me and tell me they can pick queers just by looking at them can't tell i am one too.

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19 Jun 2011, 2:34 pm

joshkuthak wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

sounds like im not gonna get into canada any time soon

That's a bit of an exaggeration in terms of visitors--its the same rules as you have in the states. You can't have any sort of criminal record. But yes, it's difficult to immigrate, unfortunately. Which is stupid, considering that what little immigration we do have is the only thing keeping our population from shrinking and our demographics mean that as soon as the recession is over we'll go back to a labour shortage. The other option would be to marry a Canadian (as mentioned, gay marriage is legal here and does allow you to become a citizen) but that would just be luck.

joestenr
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19 Jun 2011, 6:49 pm

I will appologize for not reading the thread b4 poating (but then that isnt new)
This reminds me of a conversation i had with this guy Joe i used to wirk with. I can recall telling him about this really flamboyant guy i knew in HS. He said something to the effect of guys like that give us all a bad name.
That was how he came out to me.
And in all honesty he changed my understanding of what it means to be gay. Now i will tease gay men about prancing but i do it knowing them as both being men and understanding what being gay means to them as individuals as opposed to a stereotype and typicallaly in a goidhearted mannor to thier face. Usually gets me teased back so i figure that it is taken in the same mannor.

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joshkuthak
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19 Jun 2011, 9:04 pm

Fnord wrote:

I know that there are some gay guys who do act all stereotypical, and to be honest with you i have no idea either, Im gay and i never really had the urge to do as you said "limp-wristed, lisping, mincing walk" act when it is completely un-necessary" or "thpeak juthst like Thylvethster the Cat" and act like little girls going through their first period" i never quite understood it. I agree its ridiculous, i guess maybe gay men think that by acting like that their sexy maybe? Well its definitely not a turn on for me lol.

joshkuthak
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19 Jun 2011, 9:09 pm

joestenr wrote:

I think thats great you tease but still have respect for them, respect is something that means a lot to gay people especially me, because i know when i come out of the closet it will be hard to gain respect from anyone and the people who still respect will be my true friends that i will cherish forever.

joshkuthak
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19 Jun 2011, 9:15 pm

VMSmith wrote:

I agreee with you completely, Im in the closet as well and no one suspects me of being gay, because im still a guy no matter what who just happens to have a sexual preference in men. And to make it worse there are even some gay guys who do actually act stereotypical and are degrading themselves and all of us as a whole. we are human beings and we deserve respect, and we gain that by not following the stereotypes of society and not giving into them so society can laugh at us.

VMSmith
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20 Jun 2011, 4:49 am

joshkuthak wrote:

VMSmith wrote:

gay stereotypes are rubbish. sure there are people who conform to that and that is ok- they are just being themselves- but saying that we all act that way is ridiculous. if it were true then people wouldn't have to ask if you were gay, people wouldn't assume you were het, married people wouldn't surprise their spouses by coming out, people wouldn't still assume you were straight despite the fact that you wear rainbow flag badges and same sex kiss badges, the concept of the closet would not exist. i hate it when people shove stereotypes in my face like it is the rule. having met so many same sex attracted people in my life i know it is impossible to pick them from the heterosexual. at times it is funny. i'm in the closet yet people who come up to me and tell me they can pick queers just by looking at them can't tell i am one too.

I agreee with you completely, Im in the closet as well and no one suspects me of being gay, because im still a guy no matter what who just happens to have a sexual preference in men. And to make it worse there are even some gay guys who do actually act stereotypical and are degrading themselves and all of us as a whole. we are human beings and we deserve respect, and we gain that by not following the stereotypes of society and not giving into them so society can laugh at us.

i can't say that you do agree with me completely. i've highlighted the bits that demonstrate that. they don't deserve to be vilified for their self expression. they may break the gender norm(why is that a bad thing?), they may act like a stereotype but they are doing what comes naturally to them which takes courage and i cannot fault them for that nor can any of us here i should think. how many of us have been mocked for our aspie/autie traits,those that harm none? blame not the flamboyant homosexual, blame the homophobic, sexist society we live in for your woes. indeed we are human beings and we do deserve respect. all of us. the queer community is diverse and we should embrace that.

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