Question for LGBT Folks From a Straight Guy

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Don't pursue a course just because you're good at it. What do you *want* to do? What inspires you? I've a knack for mathematics that took me to degree level and I did badly at the end because I just didn't care any more. I didn't want a career in mathematics (the main ones being accountancy, which didn't appeal, or teaching, which appealed even less). I followed my talents rather than my interests, and today I have an office job which uses precisely none of my degree.

1) I have this stupid sense of idealism and responsibility and feel that since I could make a contribution to physics (what I'm planning to major in) I should follow it.
2) MUCH MORE IMPORTANT--I don't have a clue what else I'd want to do. I'm hoping that i'm just having a temporary low at the moment. Over the summer I was first studying for a (quite prestigious) physics competition, then at the competition where I performed abysmally (hence some of my self-esteem problems) then at an unrelated physics camp (which I'd applied for long before I even knew that the physics competition existed) and am now just feeling burnt out. Even after the physics camp I was in Europe, so learning lots of history. Basically, my brain hasn't had a good break since last Christmas. And it's tired.

How y'all doing?

I'm doing super Fnord! How's you?

Passing another lonely week at university. I'm probably due for another bad day where I feel stupid and inadequate and wonder if I even want to pursue a career in the field I'm in, and whether I'm good enough to, then remembering that although I'm not as good as I might want to be I'm still gifted and therefore feel obligated to pursue a career in that field... But those feelings aren't around right now and hopefully I can last awhile before another bout.

I feel frustrated with the entire system of society we live in (thank you ever so much for making me think even more about such things, Sociology class) and uncertain because the only political party that seems to address these problems in their platform also has some policies which I quite strongly disagree. And don't stand a hope in hell of getting power within the next several decades anyway.

More relevantly, I am feeling nervous calculus and physics midterms (even though neither subject should be a problem), tired of residence food, irritated at Aeroplan for still refusing to credit those 3800 frequent flyer miles to my account, and excited for a trip I'll be taking this weekend (if I survive the midterms that is).

With regards to my homosexuality, I feel fine about myself, but frustrated about how I can not seem to let myself be open about it, or talk about it much with anyone. I'm dealing with a totally unfounded and in all probability completely fictitious suspicion that my parents (especially my Dad) don't really approve. I also wish I could have a boyfriend, although how that could happen with I hardly talk to anyone within this city and when a grand total of 4 people are aware that I'm gay, I do not know (but I suspect that desire comes from a more general loneliness and would be greatly reduced if I made some good friends).

As you can see I'm a really happy person to be around.

Well, you seem to be perfectly well aware of where you are an what you're doing. So perhaps it's time to pull some stuff out of the plus column.

Put the midterms behind you, take the trip, don't sweat the Aeroplan miles, and worry about friends more than a boyfriend. The latter will most likely follow from the former.