why do (some) women

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02 Nov 2012, 9:58 pm

Why are people getting so hung up on labels anyway? Just let people feel how they feel and act accordingly and identify in whatever way brings them the most comfort.

Tsproggy
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02 Nov 2012, 11:25 pm

Rorberyllium wrote:

Why are people getting so hung up on labels anyway? Just let people feel how they feel and act accordingly and identify in whatever way brings them the most comfort.

Some people like labels, it gives them a sense of belonging to something bigger then themselves. If you disagree with labels so much why are you on wrongplanet? You could just be a very eccentric normal person!

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02 Nov 2012, 11:33 pm

Rorberyllium wrote:

Why are people getting so hung up on labels anyway? Just let people feel how they feel and act accordingly and identify in whatever way brings them the most comfort.

A few hours ago I made myself a similar question. The answer I gave myself was, it makes it easier to find people similar to oneself. If someone sees himself as gay, for example, he can talk with other gay people about his experiences, share information, and as Tsproggy said, have a sense of belonging. The AS label works in a similar way; many of us are here together because of it.

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02 Nov 2012, 11:36 pm

Shatbat wrote:

Rorberyllium wrote:

Why are people getting so hung up on labels anyway? Just let people feel how they feel and act accordingly and identify in whatever way brings them the most comfort.

I think he may have been refering to why do other people feel the need to label people when they have no idea baout the person in question.
Labels can be useful when self applied for the right reasons.
Labels given to others simply on assumptions can be not only incorrect, but hurtful and offensive to those they are attempting to label.. (Which was the incident that sparked this thread)

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02 Nov 2012, 11:45 pm

Kjas wrote:

That would make sense. I guess we as humans have a tendence to classify people, and make quick assumptions from it, which in certain ocassions makes our lives easier. But I could imagine saying to a woman in her face "You're not straight, your bi! You like other women!" as being quite rude :lol:

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02 Nov 2012, 11:56 pm

Shatbat wrote:

billiscool wrote:

oh yeah there another study showing women being aroused by naked women but the here problem it was only 23 women and they were also aroused by monkey sex.

and there been study too showing men being aroused by naked men. There this one were they took 60 men and divide them into
2 groups homophobic and non-homophobic, Every man in study was aroused by naked women. However something like 70% of homophobic men were aroused by naked men and 35% of the non-homophobic men were aroused by naked men.

another study that showed that most straight men are at least moderalty aroused by naked men

Could you show me those studies? I already provided a link to mine. It has a lot of references to other studies, I could check those out. It's a theory anyway, that explains what you said in your first post. If you want to blame that on women instead, it's your call.

google meredith chivers for the monkey. and google henry adams homophobia.

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02 Nov 2012, 11:58 pm

Meredith Chivers. Monkeys. That was actually the one I mentioned and linked to
I'll look for the other one.

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billiscool
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03 Nov 2012, 12:01 am

Ok I can understand a women who says she attractive to other women but has no desire to act out on it based on
religious ground, calling her self straight. However these women Im talkin about are not ''religious'' and still act out on the behavior.
I know in some culture only men who are the receving partner are consider ''gay'' and men who are the insertive partner are not consider gay.

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03 Nov 2012, 12:13 am

billiscool wrote:

I couldn't make sense of what you said, did you mean women who are not religions, and still don't act out on their attraction towards other women?

Hum... I'd need the opinion of an heterosexual woman. She probably would know better than either of us. A wild guess is that seeing or being aroused by someone is different from actually wanting to have sex with them. I don't know.

And I've heard that's the case in prison, but that's more about asserting dominance and very limited options, so it wouldn't really be related to this topic.

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03 Nov 2012, 12:44 am

Shatbat wrote:

From the straight women I have talked to about this topic, that's exactly correct. They may find it pleasing or for some even arousing, but they would never actually *do* anything. And the ones who have tried from curiousity, have reported that when they have tried to do something, it felt very wrong for them. That was how they knew they were straight for sure.

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Last edited by Kjas on 03 Nov 2012, 12:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

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03 Nov 2012, 12:48 am

oooooohhhhhhhhh. Did this start because I said I am not bisexual/a lesbian?

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03 Nov 2012, 8:56 am

People applying labels for themselves is fine. What I mean is people applying labels to others or telling people there's no way they can be this or that because they feel this way or that way.

"Women can be attracted to other women and be straight but any man who is attracted to men is gay"

"If you're a woman who has a sexual experience with another woman you're just curious, if you're a man who had a sexual experience with another man you're bi"

Stuff like that bugs me. Let people identify in a way they feel most comfortable. Don't tell them they have to identify this way or that way or they can't possibly identify this way because it isn't how you define it.

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03 Nov 2012, 9:24 am

Kjas wrote:

I'd wondered what would happen if a straight woman attempted to have sex with another woman; men don't feel attracted towards people of their sex, but women do to an xtent, so the usual " put myself in their shoes" wouldn't have cut it. That makes things quite clear.

meems, I saw the thread in question, it's very likely.

Rorberyllium, yeah, imposing one's labels into someone else is quite rude.

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03 Nov 2012, 11:54 am

Rorberyllium wrote:

There actually is a very large community of straight men who have sex with men but don't identify as bi or gay. They just call it MSM (men who have sex with men). I don't see why there can't be WSW as well. Sometimes sex is just sex.

Yes, there are indeed men who sleep with men and claim they aren't gay. Since homosexuality is literally sexual attraction to the same gender, they are gay - they just have a large dose of homophobia along with it.

Claiming you aren't something just because you don't want to be doesn't magically change the facts. There are lots of people in prison that claim to be innocent - should we just let them go?

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03 Nov 2012, 12:04 pm

How can you compare sexual orientation to crime??

It's not something you're convicted of, that. sounds like homophobia or internalized) homophobia. Geez.

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03 Nov 2012, 12:16 pm

Thom_Fuleri wrote:

Rorberyllium wrote:

First, it is plausible for someone to feel the pleasurable sensations of sex without being attracted to his partner. So these people would be having sex just for the sake of it, as he mentioned.

Second, on the labeling thing, do you claim to know someone better than he knows himself? And even if that was true, which I doubt, is it your call to say they are wrong in the way they see themselves?

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