Bisexual with no real experience.

Post Reply New Topic

I like girls, but I've never thought of myself as bi [probably because I like guys as well]. The problem is that all of my crushes have been Manga and Video Game heroes and heroines.

Pretty much the same thing for me, attracted to both genders but have never been on a date with anyone.

I just want to say that I am a bisexual and have not gone into that further meaning dating women, I wish I could. I feel the lady that made this chat (I am terrible with names sorry) is gorgeous and I like her profile. I only wish you lived closer, I live in the USA.

I don't know I'm very confused I'm a girl and growing up I always had crushes on boys. When I hit puberty and high school I have a few strong crushes on boys. I mean you could consider me a boy crazy. But lately I have been thinking about girls and female celebrities how attractive they are. I have had a few crushes on girls and celebrities. I realize I have always had these feelings for them. It is just that I grew up in a homophobic jehovahs witness house and a heteronormative society "girls like boys not girls" " girls only admire or are jealous of other girls not want to be with them."sort of thing so I only thought I wanted to be like them not "like" like them which I did to a point want to be like them rich, famous, beautiful etc. So I chalked it up to that. But I also felt the same about my male crushes I wanted to be like them to a point. Also the whole being an "LGBT" thing being a sin. I just ignored until now when I had more crushes on female celebrities and school friends. I had began having feelings for a female best friend when I was 12. It made me more homophobic. When I got until high school I had the hugest crushes on two guys so I thought my crushes on celebrities and friend were just hormones. But then I got into the LGBT community online and starts to watch yuri "girls love" anime. Which me feel comfortable. My little brother caught me watch a kissing video and told everyone in our house. My sister calls me "lesbian" "weirdo" "freak" "fa***t" "dyke" now she even told my cousins and Aunt at the Christmas dinner. I feel humiliated, alone, depressed and still confused about my sexuality.

Sorry to hear about your experiences aspergirl16.
Would you feel less confused and stressed about it without the homophobic insults and living environment?
People who make insults like that are ignorant. I don't mean that as an insult, but as an observation.
If they mock you, its because your thoughts or actions are not acceptable in their belief.
All beliefs are untrue.
That's the nature of beliefs.
If your family restrict your behaviour, you don't have to change their minds, but you don't have to have their mindset.

I am bisexual, but I've never been in a relationship. I go in phases as to which gender I have more interest in. Right now it's probably females, but it was males a week or two ago. And sometime I'm interested in both of them equally. I just want to be in a relationship with at least one of the genders so I know what it's like. My therapist is a lesbian, so I can be comfortable talking about my sexuality with her.

Do you find you have doubts yourself if it's OK to be bisexual because of upbringing and environment?

Way I see it, confusion comes from labels, from trying to fit in. From thinking you have to be something, when you don't.

My longest relationship was with a guy who was confused for some of the time while we were together, or at least was aware of feelings for people of the same sex. He had a brief thing with a guy for a short while, for about six months i think before we got together. Since we split up a while ago, i hear he has been in a relationship with a girl, and are still together now.
On reflection, i don't think i was that mature about it when i was with him, i wasn't nasty or anything, but i might have felt just a little insecure about it, and pushed or probed, without really understanding why i was doing it.
If someone is gonna cheat on you or go off with someone else, i think its a lot less likely it will be just about sexual orientation. It ma be because they are currently the kind of person who cheats, or they like someone more, or the relationship isn't very good.
The guy i was with left me for a girl, someone i had spoken to in a friendly way previously, our relationship on reflection had got pretty bad, perhaps he is a lot happier now, i don't much think about.
I think i would not probe him about about his orientation now, it actually wasn't that important, but i wanted a neat label to pin on him, cos i thought that was what i should have.
I don't think that way now, but plenty of people do, trying to pin a label on someone for their own convenience. That kind of thing of course happens all the time, people telling you what you are, before you have had the chance to discover what you want to do.
I think if possible people should try to resist pinning a label on to people if they can, and think about to what extent they are doing it, because they think it is too scary not to define exactly what a person is, because then they would have to be concerned with what exactly they are. I don't mean just in a sexual orientation way, but in a bigger, who am i, what am i kind of way?
People are uncertain things, but living with uncertainty can be a positive thing. Projection of certainties onto other people is one way of trying to avoid the uncertainty of living. Religion can be another way of trying to project certainties to where there are none.
Anyway, sorry i am writing too much about my thoughts.