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goldfish21
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Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

24 Jan 2016, 6:52 pm

Yep. *raises hand*

I live in the suburbs of Vancouver, which has the largest gay population in Canada. Every gay stereotype & subculture exists here.. yet I still sort of march to the beat of my own drum, not neatly fitting into any of the subculture categories. I also don't really care, either.

I am who I am and like to spend my time doing the things I like to do vs. stereotypically gay acting guys who do stereotypically gay things. To each their own. There are many more like me out there, too.

I don't really care that I don't fit into a specific subculture group as I don't really need to for any sort of label or identity purposes. And no one else cares, either. Well, or if they do I'm not around them to find out! The group of gay guys I've gone to several large parties with (up to like 600 people) are so diverse it's not even funny. There's nearly every type of gay stereotype and non-stereotype present together at the same huge party just having fun 8 ways from Sunday and no one could care less which clique you do or don't fit into. THAT's my type of "scene" vs. the niche compartmentalized scene(s) that seems to be popular with the more mainstream scenesters.

Maybe you just need to find such a diverse and accepting crowd in your city in order to feel like you belong a bit better vs. feeling like an outsider in a niche stereotype scene? Or maybe you don't need that at all and just need to realize it's a-okay to be YOU however you are, whether you fit into any cookie cutter scene or not? It's your life; live it.


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camenzind
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27 Jan 2016, 12:38 pm

Firstly, I do not like this word "homosexuality", because it is focused on sexuality rather than on love. I tried once or twice to be interested in this LGBT culture, but I did not feel comfortable for that reason ; to me, there is an obsession about sexuality. Secondly, I do not identify myself through what my heart is made of ; it is a part of, but not my personality. Then, I do not like this expression "LGBT culture". What does it mean ? To me, it is a synonym of communitarianism. I prefer to be a part of the "Human culture" or to know more about humanism.



Kuraudo777
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27 Jan 2016, 1:39 pm

^Exactly! I can't stand that word! Thank you.


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A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? That's why sometimes it can be mistaken and a different thing. But it's different from a memory locked deep within your heart. Words aren't the only way to tell someone how you feel.” Tifa Lockheart, Final Fantasy VII


GodzillaWoman
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02 Feb 2016, 7:30 pm

I identify as a bisexual cisgender woman. My first LGBT relationship was with a trans woman (and we're still together). I was pretty new to the LGBT scene when we met. I started noticing that a lot of gays and Lesbians were a bit standoffish or even hostile to transpeople (this was back in the 90s). My GF was badly injured in a hate crime, and I was shocked at how unhelpful and standoffish the LG groups were. We reported the hate crime to GLAAD, but they wouldn't return our phone calls. We signed what we thought was a contact list for the Human Rights Campaign at a Pride festival, and they tried to take us to collections claiming that we'd promised a donation. And no returned phone calls there either. Meanwhile, my transwoman GF was struggling to get medical treatment and had been fired, because the assault was at work by a coworker. I was feeling a bit isolated.

We were friends with a trans-civil rights activist, who asked my GF to testify at the State House in Maryland for an LGBT civil rights bill. Before she went, my GF and the activist met with one of the major LGBT civil rights groups. They were almost universally hostile or dismissive of trans rights, and very nasty--they clearly thought that trans people would get their bill blocked. So when the bill went to a vote, the first thing they did was to throw out trans rights. It was clear that it was only included as a bargaining chip. Barney Frank went very public with his opposition to trans rights, using some kind of weird example of how trans women wouldn't fit in a male-dominated workplace like an oil rig. At the time, it felt like the only reason gays and Lesbians wanted to tack the "T" on LGBT was to increase their hate crime and discrimination statistics.

I was really angry and disillusioned, and stopped trying to go to any sort of LG groups. I only went to trans ones, and haven't really even gone there in a few years. Maybe it's different now, but back then, it felt like the most vanilla, NT heteros were the kindest and most accepting of us. LGs always seemed to feel like we were too much on the fringe.


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