How do I deal with transphobia? (FtM)

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I actually think that my attitude about trans people has changed quite a lot in the past few weeks that I've been on WP. I haven't ever even met someone who was transgender (that I know of), but considering that I barely ever talk to anyone, that's not surprising. In the past, I think the idea of trans people seemed very foreign to me, or strange. Getting to communicate with people that identify as transgender has made me realize that they are just people, like me.

I know that sounds kind of stupid, but it's true. I feel that my attitude towards trans people has become much more positive. I would be more than willing to hear anyone's experience if they wanted to share it with me.

Many of the married trans from earlier generations were married as their birth gender and in the closet about their gender identity. Like an MtF pretending to be a man and marrying a woman. This is pretty easy to hide from a partner, though it leads to a very unhappy life.

There have been historical cases of people passing as a different gender than their birth gender, such as Mary Read. I haven't heard anything about Mary Read identifying as male, and she may have just disguised as male to get male advantages, but trans people of the same period might have done the same thing.

She didn't hide her birth gender from a romantic partner, though. In fact, she got pregnant by a man. I think hiding your birth gender from a romantic partner would have been impossible pre-SRS.



I suppose those situations could occur, but the most common complaint I've heard from trans people is being denied gender reassignment treatment because of discriminatory attitudes towards trans people. For example, many times medical insurance doesn't cover SRS because they see it as 'cosmetic' rather than something necessary for the person's mental health.

Even though I had known lot of trans online and met some in real life and spoken to plenty online, I had no idea transgender actually existed. I used to think that people just wanted to be another gender so they got a sex change because they wanted to be that gender. I always found it weird and foreign because I couldn't imagine being a guy, the deep voice, the Adam's apple body and facial hair, a penis so I couldn't put my mind around why someone would want to be a guy. I thought it was a desire so all they had to do was go in and tell their doctor they want to be this gender and they take hormones and do the surgery and they are now that gender now. I also thought it was some fantasy thing too they did and they lived it. I thought it was the same as people claiming to be another age just because they want to be younger or because they feel younger. I even thought GID was a BS thing because I didn't see how it was a disorder for people that liked to crossdress or dress a different gender. Then I hear about feeling being born with the wrong gender and I thought yeah when I was a kid, I wanted to be a boy because I thought being a girl was so boring because they had a penis and could pee standing and I had to sit to pee.

This is how ignorant I was about transgender because I didn't know. And it's not going to cross anyone's mind to read about it if they don't know. If they think it's just a kink thing or a fantasy thing they do, people are not going to be interested in reading about it. They will be like "Okay so some people like to live as a man or woman, big deal, I don't need to read about it, to each their own, it's not hurting anyone. Live and let live."

It took me over time to learn and realize before I decided to actually start reading about it. I never had anything against transgender because I tend to be more open minded so I tend to not care what people do in their personal lives and if something is harmless, why judge? The only issue I had is being lied to so I stopped taking genders seriously online in the AB/DL community because of lot of sissies and stuff so "men" would mark their profiles as female and stuff and I was totally unaware because I thought it was the same as living a fantasy.

I annoy them with logical conference speeches from Ted Talks and other scientific research that pulls that gender and sexuality is more fluid than what we originally expected. If they don't watch the videos I tell them the conversation is closed till they watched them. It usually shuts them up because most people won't watch the videos. I don't make them watch them to educate or persuade. I make them watch it because I know they won't watch the videos, thus their argument becomes invalid and they no longer can say anything to me.