Repressed or Forced?

Post Reply New Topic

Those are some good questions, and fantastic if you are curious. How can you have something like a masculine woman (tomboy, butch) but also have something like a trans man or a an AFAB (assigned female at birth) Non-binary person, and them both be separate, even have a tomboy or butch woman be more masculine than a trans man or enby?

The best answer you are going to get is to ask them. A trans person is just going to tell you that they know they are a man, a tomboy will say they still feel like a woman. Me as an AMAB Enby, I am still running the numbers, something about being between or both has just always struck a cord with me, and took me a long time to find out about things like most people don't think that way, but there are people that do. I connect with androgyny. I liked learning that my name can apparently be both a male and female name. I don't think I in general get much dysphoria, but I hate being called something like "fella", a word that has this specific bloke manly image to it and just feels wrong. More than that, I actually kind of feel good, affirmed, with androgyny, the same way men feel when told they are manly.

In terms of people boxing themselves into labels in limiting themselves. Perhaps some people do that, but for me it has been actually trying to understand myself. I like the sound of Enby (NB), that feels like a good broad start like someone can be a boy or a girl. Beyond that I am still trying to understand, find a title to describe more exactly how I relate to masculinity and femineity as an enby. A lot of self reflection has me describe the whole person that I am as a bunch of people sitting around a table, they might each represent a personality trait, an emotion or different ideas of who I am, the voices in your head that allow one to debate with yourself, consider different points of view and just sort complex thoughts. And to me, it is kind of like these different people may be different genders, some male and some female, although it maybe changes which ones are what and how many, so far I think this is what people call genderfluid if not bigender. It can give me a way to explain, that maybe I usually look like a man, but sometimes I might like to look pretty, but I am always non-binary.

I don't care too much if people know more than non-binary, it would mostly be for myself, like saying that I am on the autism spectrum while also knowing more exactly the type of autism traits that I have. Even if I don't really know yet, I don't think that I would box myself into match what everyone else thinks a non-binary bi/gender/fluid, I will just find another name so I could find others who also think similar and say I relate with that person.

It is kind of how I might like also a way to explain my sexuality, whether I maybe just can appreciate a boy that could be seen as attractive, or I might like to be with that. And what that was has felt like it has changed quite a bit as I reassessed things. Like it was not long ago I was saying that male me is totally straight, female me might like both ways. But it was like a separated out the two sides of masculine and feminine, brought them back and realised that might not be entirely accurate because I was dealing with some internalised homophobia. But am I maybe just infatuated with parts of a man, an idea of, but give me a more masculine dude like a lot of people are and I might not feel anything, but maybe I already have that with a lot of types of women and I never questioned that, because why would I.

I like your post,it is fine and informative,but I fail to see it's connection to the post of mine in quotes.

I made a strong assertion that younger people are to serious or strict about gender things.young people have opened doors by accepting more categories of people but now everyone has to be in a category sort of.Young people's new categories give more acceptence to more people but force people into categories.

I came from generation X which was a generation of alienation and we rejected the notion that everyone must fit in.Are attitude was sort "well ok,so you don't quite fit into the absolute gender norm but fitting in is not that important".The millennial creed is more,lets create new categories so people can fit in but now everyone must fit in.Gen X was more laid back about whether you fit in in the first place.

These younger generations, Millennials and Z (Zoomers?), are a generation of the internet, that if they don't fit somewhere they have access to the wide web to find other people like them. These categories they put themselves into can be malleable and change, perhaps they might one day look back and cringe, or recognise that it was important for who they were at that time.

While it can appear, or some might even push it, that they are limiting themselves to what is right about what they call themselves, I instead think that it is a renascence to reevaluate what has been assumed so everyone can experiment to find themselves, or those who come after might not be so confused.

You mentioned tomboys earlier as something was accepted. Well truth was that tomboys were also kind of expected to grow out of it, which many can consider a problem in women being down on if they don't just get over 'the phase'.

Can I ask what just quoting the post means?
I hope that is not a weird question.

I'm not sure how to debate exactly,I think your seeing the perspectives of older generations through 29 year old eyes.You would have to live the Gen X experience to understand it,we weren't that judgemental,we didn't like complainy customers but we never called them Karens.If someone didn't grow out of being a tom boy most people my my generation didn't really care.

Wh

This is embarrassing I had like a whole response to the quote I must have formatted something wrong or something I'm sorry lol

edit:
What I was mainly getting at was that you shouldn't feel uncomfortable for finding someone attractive like that. I find it's better to explore those feelings in games because there are no consequences and it doesn't involve anyone else in your life. (Also Dorian is very snarky and sweet, would recommend romance. The only downside is it means he can't be with Iron Bull and they're adorable together).

That and that I loved the Zelda art! Green!Link looks great in the dress and Blue!Link is clearly impressed. Things like that and Cloud's wearing a dress in FF7 made me feel more comfortable thinking about not presenting as male. Video games are great for trying this too, since I'm too cheap and lazy and insecure to go dress shopping for myself. Animal Crossing has been good for this, and I feel much better now than I did when I was avoiding thinking about it.
Since Ocarina Zelda has pretty explicitly disregarded gender roles or a fixed identity. Sheik is even referred to in the manual as "he" and who are we to question the manual? I think it's telling that Zelda took the opportunity to have a man alter ego. From how she acted and what we heard about her as a kid, it seems like something she may have wanted to do for years. She gave me the impression that she felt stifled by her status as a princess and how little freedom she had to act and be who she really wanted to be.

I am not disregarding your perspective as Gen x, just explaining what the perspective is. It is not an attack on the common perspective of Gen X, but rather than seeing the Gen X brand of being non-judgemental as something to strive for, Millennials and Zoomers I think see it as kind of apathy. There being a subtle line between not being judgemental and not caring as opposed to actually being accepting. Not like every Gen X person does not care about something, there are lots of things they care about, but the brand of sayin just don't care about something or put o a label on it is ironically seen as lazy by generations that get called lazy by the Boomers. It is not an attack, you just might have to live the Millennial and Zoomer (which I can't claim to) experience to understand it.

I would like to think that calling a certain type of complaining customer a "Karen" is not about forcing a stereotype onto someone who complains, it has been seeing a lot of recounts of this type of person from a lot of people that there is enough of a pattern to be called a phenomena. A phenomena of a type of person that loves the feeling of self importance by attacking and belittling people who are just trying to work by wielding the customer to worker hierarchy and calling for the manager, who would say the same thing, just so they can make that person's life worse.

It is pretty much the same thing as grouping people into generations, which are generally artificial constructs that do not actually define what people of that generation must act like. I say that at the same time as using them, just like a complaining customer does not have to be a Karen.