Gay Aspergers !

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Well, with me, I saw gayness as another defect and beat myself up over it for a long time. I've changed my thoughts about it since then, seeing how there's obviously no escaping it, and it doesn't affect my performance in the least bit any more than a straight person being affected by their straightness.

Well I have had a really easy ride with my sexuality issue. I've been able to just go with the flow of it and all my friends and family who matter are fine with it. So I guess I am just here to meet some other gay people with AS (though I am not sure if I myself have AS), and also to offer some support if people are having problems.

Though having said that, I recently fell in love with a guy for the first time in my life, and it was unrequited love I thought I got over it after a couple of months but apparently I am still really hung up on him

Also would like to say that dougn you are cute
*hugs to all*
Rik.

You guys are so much younger than me. I dont know if this causes a different impression of the world. Im not sure why anyone not gay would be in here commenting but I was reading some notes from the past. Id like to think this was a place to make some gay AS friends. It seems the younger people have an attitude of I dont need you and Im not going to get to know you. Where as people my age didnt have a diagnosis. It didnt exist and instead I was really forced to come out of myself. I know for me I just tried and tried to get out there. I hear about people who cant leave the house. They have great jobs but still have at home or incredible ecucations ad no job. I am thankful that I was really forced to "learn" or imitate or whatever it is that gets me out there. Its scary and its so painful sometimes and it seems that AS people just have to keep walking into walls and then renavigate on that path that NT types can see more clearly. Wanting men certainly added a LOT of extra stress growing up. In the end, like i said, we are natural and its the creators way and we are only victims of our own thoughts. I keep looking for that connection with a man because it can feel incredible when I can feel that strongly about someone and they feel it back. As far as this thread goes I just any practical advice or epxeriences about gay are helpful.

Billynj, unfortunately it's not as easy as that. Having a good education does not equal having a job. Because having a good education does not equal a person. And there is more to people than just "what you do" or "what qualifications you have". And people these days are more free to explore themselves which is why things like Autism now actually have labels and definitions.

We are discovering more and more about ourselves in a multitude of areas. We aren't, as you say, "forced" to all lead similar ways of life. In modern times people are wanting more, they want a greater sense of themselves and people are realising that they are unique individual entities with meaning and purpose, in other words: we are no longer born into this world just to fit societies requirements and then die. We are here to discover, so that is what we are doing. This is why people are more "individualised" these days. This is why "the norm" no longer exists.

However this does, as you point out, come with it's down falls. Some people abuse that freedom and are careless with the expression of themselves and this creates negative ripples in society and in families. Some children have bad up bringing, this affects them, so they end up with low confidence, difficulties with certain ways of life, fears etc, and with life being not as restrictive as it used to be, these fears can take over peoples lives. It is hard to know where to draw the line between forcing someone to "sort their life out", and allowing/supporting them to be free to explore themselves; "become" themselves; and help themselves. People these days do not want to be forced. For some, they go to the other extreme by either becoming lazy, or blocked up with fear that prevents them from progressing. For others it allows them to discover themselves, and yes this means some people finding out they have things like AS. And that is my point - you can have a million great qualifications - if you don't know yourself and love yourself and do not have the confidence and self-belief that you need, then getting a job is going to be hard/seemingly impossible.

People are not defined by material things such as qualifications or job/career titles. People are deeply, almost endlessly complex individuals and we are only just starting to scratch the surface - this is why things seem worse now than when they did in your younger days.

I for one would hate to be forced to learn to live the way other "typical" people do, as you say you were. My mum allowed me to grow and be myself; she fostered my life education and understanding of self; she provided a good home life, she guided me and answered questions I have and has always helped and loved me. I have grown up to be someone she is proud of, and someone I am pleased with. Sure I have issues, but EVERYONE has issues. No one is free of problems. But I am trying to tackle them as I go. I do not want to follow someone else's path. I refuse to, unless it's only for a brief period to further progress me on my own chosen path.


Rikki

I like older guys, but not too old and still looks good. Younger guys are good too, just not too young. Guys my age are good too. I like other guys, younger, older or the same age as me

Any guy here fits into these catagories?

Haha @ Androol. Well I am 23, do I fit

haha wow I'm not that easy to catch

And I'm still just a bit underage. 17 years old, need that one extra year to have all my rights given directly to me, and not through my parents. *sigh* can't wait, but I'm not going to waste my time sulking about age. No, sir! I'm living it up this year, it's Senior year of high school after all.

spoken like true men! all ages are good! that was cute. The straight aspies are going crazy lookng for a date and we as gay aspies just have to walk out the door! hehe. Bill

haha I don't know how you figure that billynj. I am 23 and have never had a date let alone a relationship.

hmm. im sorry. I hope I did not offend you. Is it by choice? I just mean that it seems that if you want sex it is easy to find. Having a boyfriend may be another story. You look very cute. Its complicated for me. I may have used sex in the past in the wrong way. I mean I used it as a way to keep and make friends. In that sense it was easy to find sex.

Oh gosh no offense at all my friend for a long while it has been choice, but now I want a relationship. I just don't know how to go about it. Plus I'm real nervous. And thanks for the compliment

Sex I am not particularly interested in, I would only have sex as a by-product of a relationship because it would feel right. But otherwise I dont want sex.