Gay Aspergers !

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The thread seems kinda dead. Allow me... clear!

Anyway, has anyone dated another aspie? I've never had things work out with a NT. Maybe because I have poor social skills, can't express myself or I seem to aloof or uncaring. I haven't figured it out yet.

So the question is, do you think dating an aspie will be better because we will both be more understanding of our weaknesses or will it just compound the problem?

Wow I'm amazed to see the results of this thread. I was actually getting the feeling that I was the only bisexual aspie. Well I guess we learn quite a few new things every day. Hugs to everyone that deals with the confusions and sanctions of being in the world today. I guess everyone else must also feel like they're really on the wrong planet.

Electric shock? *Hedley Lamarr voice* Kin-ky!

lol I'm giving this thread mouth to mouth.

I'm a straight female aspie, don't find other women interesting at all that way, but I think gay guys together are really hot. That's just my thing I guess. Does that count?

PaganMom

On behalf of myself and my imaginary boyfriend, that's pretty awesome. =)

Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2008 10:54 am Post subject:

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Keith wrote:
I pity the gay men that come on to me, it's their hearts I break when I tell them I am hetero. I just laugh off assumptions from people when people say or as if I am gay. I honestly think my father thinks I am as I haven't had a girlfriend for a while. I'm just after one girl and not interested in anyone else...


well i read somewhere that AS people are often mistaken to be gay!... but like you say, you one THE ONE... so that you'll be happy forever, which is good, and just proves that AS people want just the right person for love and such!... Romance!


Yep get it all the time.

Hmm, I think it depends. My take is that dating an Aspie will increase the likelihood that the two of you will be more understanding of the issues you both face. However, unless both of you have developed some level of social skill, you oftentimes won't have the patience to deal with each other's special interests (if they're different). For us it seems like so many things are like either we are totally 100% fascinated by a topic, or utterly 0% with pretty much nothing in between! Also, from my own experience if there is one person who is more experienced in a particular thing than the other person, there can be a tendency for the more experienced/knowledgeable person to dominate over the other person in that thing. So I suppose there can be some power struggles which can fairly easily threaten the relationship unless people are willing to compromise.

Accordingly, you have to be particularly vigilant about any disparities in maturity between the two people. AS folks with their developmental delay often makes many of us more childlike for our age, and our corresponding mindset can therefore be more immature than that of others. If the disparity is too great, then the relationship becomes more father-son or mother-daughter (well, this is the gay Aspies thread ) than a relationship between peers, and that leads to codependency and other problems. I had what turned out to be a father-son AS-AS type of relationship where I was in the father role, and it really wasn't healthy for either of us, so we pretty much don't even talk to each other anymore. But it's better for us that way, I think.

"I think I'm in love with you and your friend..."

You some great points. Someone that understands your quirks is a really attractive factor. There's usually a more mature one in any relationship but I suppose it could be really pronounced in cases between an AS-AS relationship. I guess I can see a lot of difficulties in a romantic relationship.

I'm lesbian.

I thought this was about people with Asperger's that are happy.

I'm a lesbian, well, kind of, I like guys every now and then. So I guess I'm kind of bi.

I doubt there's a big connection? Maybe we should make a poll.

Hey Everybody,

Yet another gay aspie here.

I was involved a bit in the gay world, which I really dislike. Gays have no compassion and can be quite mean to one another which came to me as a surprise. I think they are to picky, to bitchy and they have the same stupid playground hierarchy as you would find in a school plus they weren't all that welcoming. Please don't feel discourage by my words, there is bound to be Mr or Mrs right out there somewhere.

We are not all like that.

But the majority is. I am quite frankly put off by most of them.