05 Jan 2010, 6:44 am
05 Jan 2010, 1:35 pm
05 Jan 2010, 9:10 pm
05 Jan 2010, 9:20 pm
androol wrote:
so, I was wondering what's the ultimate purpose of life for gay people that won't have any kids.
I'm working on a master degree, which sometimes can be stressful. Sometimes I imagine what life would be if I had a boring cubical job making just enough money to live and be moderately happy. But I'm working on my master degree. I don't know what I'm ultimately working towards in life.
so, what's the ultimate purpose of life for people that won't have children? Should they just make the minimum effort in life and live a happy life?
I'm working on a master degree, which sometimes can be stressful. Sometimes I imagine what life would be if I had a boring cubical job making just enough money to live and be moderately happy. But I'm working on my master degree. I don't know what I'm ultimately working towards in life.
so, what's the ultimate purpose of life for people that won't have children? Should they just make the minimum effort in life and live a happy life?
Gay people can have children if they adopt, or for lesbians IVF or something similar, local laws permitting.
Though at the moment this doesn't apply to me since I don't like children.
To some people, their ultimate purpose in life is to bring new life into this world... but as for me, my self-determined purpose in life is to improve the quality of life of those already in this world. My gay partner would hopefully feel the same way! 
05 Jan 2010, 10:33 pm
Stinkypuppy wrote:
dustintorch wrote:
yes this is what I was thinking. Yet I don't have a relationship, the initial meeting of guys isn't so hard. Especially in a big city. The hard part is after they start noticing some of your quirks...do you tell another gay guy that you have a neurological disorder? I can't see one my own age ever understanding, but you never know.
My guess would be that if you were to tell most people that you have a "disorder" or a "syndrome", that they would think that there's something utterly wrong with you. Words like "disorder" and "syndrome" are pretty much like "disease" in that they carry some significant negative connotations (particularly "unhealthy"), and it's that negative image that immediately pops into people's minds. Even the word "autism" is like "disease" in most people's minds.
So would I tell a gay guy I liked that I have a "neurological disorder"? Only if I thought there was a chance that he would have a more balanced view of ASD and people on the spectrum. Otherwise I would refer to the spectrum differently and carefully so as not to conjure up these negative images. In practice however, it's kind of a rarity for me to have to resort to the "otherwise..." scenario, since I tend to weed out those against neurodiversity early on in the friendship process. This makes things a lot easier for me, as wording things differently and carefully is not something I do very well. Ultimately though, I don't really think of ASD as a "disorder" or a "syndrome", but rather that you're born into this world with a different set of strengths and weaknesses, just as everybody has strengths and weaknesses. In that way we are no different from anybody else. And whether you're on the spectrum or not, the whole point of life, at least to me, is about trying to overcome one's own fears and weaknesses to become a more mature, strong, yet understanding and responsible human being. I honestly didn't understand that when I was 23... I was still immature and cocky, and I wasn't truly independent and self-supporting then. Little did I know that within just a few years my outlook would be so radically different.
Is that you in the picture?
I wish I had that kind of flexibility. That's really impressive!well put...I don't really have anything to say because I agree with everything and I would just be repeating everything you said from my perspective.
btw, yes that is me in the picture and thanks
ilivinamushroom
Sea Gull
Joined: 29 Sep 2009
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 221
Location: southern oregon
05 Jan 2010, 11:14 pm
05 Jan 2010, 11:28 pm
06 Jan 2010, 12:48 am
06 Jan 2010, 10:13 am
keviefriend wrote:
However, generally speaking, I don't find sex with my bf, whom I do love, to be functionally better than sex with my friend Joey, whom I'm not romantically attached to. The way Derek and I see it, is that if we're really as complex of people as we think we are, there is no way we can expect all of our needs to be met by just one other person. Some people can be satisfied with that, but when you consider how many people cheat on their partners, I'm not led to believe that it's very many people. I think aspies are different that way (IE, more loyal), but there I go again with another generalization.
There's a kind of tug-of-war at play here though:
If we have our needs met by many other people, you're less at a loss if any one particular person for whatever reason can no longer meet your needs, but the downside is that each individual person who meets your needs is not special, since that person can be fairly easily replaced.
If we have our needs met by just one person, you're potentially very vulnerable if that person can no longer meet your needs, but that person is special and will pretty much be "one in a million". Regarding people as "special", however, pre-dates any Abrahamic religion.
The number of people you want to have in your life meeting your needs will be dependent on your outlook on life, what is important to you, and how special you are willing to consider other people who help you. I agree with you, this number will vary from person to person; there's no one-size-fits-all solution to this.
---
Well, as complex as human beings might be, I personally try to be as self-sufficient as possible, so that I wouldn't require many needs to be met by other people. Because I consider it exceedingly rare for people to be able or willing to rise to the challenge to meet those few needs I still have remaining anyway (being my boyfriend is not for the faint of heart
), I consider people like that to be very special and treasured, so I lean towards the "fewer number" end of the scale... effectively pretty much 1.
17 Jan 2010, 10:49 am
ilivinamushroom
Sea Gull
Joined: 29 Sep 2009
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 221
Location: southern oregon
17 Jan 2010, 1:19 pm
17 Jan 2010, 1:47 pm
ilivinamushroom
Sea Gull
Joined: 29 Sep 2009
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 221
Location: southern oregon
17 Jan 2010, 8:02 pm
19 Jan 2010, 7:25 pm
19 Jan 2010, 8:05 pm
Welcome to WP, Pippo!
I'm always up for meeting other Aspies in a relaxed setting as well, enjoying common interests or exploring new ones.
20 Jan 2010, 12:46 pm
Me too
