Do aspies *look* gay?

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NT straights think everything they don't like or don't understand is "gay". By saying, "That's so gay," and saying, "That's really ret*d", they're really saying the same thing. It's just that the former is the one that's more socially acceptable these days. They say it, and then they claim it's not prejudiced to do that. Bovine droppings! Taking a term that's commonly used to refer to an entire group of people and turning it into a term to mean "bad" or "stupid" or "wrong" or "evil" is a prejudiced act that is unjustifiably hurtful to those people. How would you feel if people did that with your name?

I'm gay, and I'm tired of this. Yeah, I'm a dyke. Get over it.

Proper hygiene and good grooming when you're male are gay? Really? Well, then, hooray for gays!

If you're female, dressing comfortably, rather than rushing off to spend money matching every fashion whim of society, and not plastering your face with multicolored goop make you a dyke? Well, then, hooray for dykes!

I don't see what's so bad about either of those things.

Me too, I hate it when people tell me that I shouldn't be offended by this, to the word "gay" being used as a universal put-down. They say I shouldn't take it personally, but it IS personal when people use that kind of language. Especially when they know me.



I used to not care so much about my looks, but when I realized that I needed to learn some social skills I discovered that looks do matter. So I became attentive enough, but apparently not as attentive as most others. In a way, I think this may be what separates me from the gay community - I dress comfortably, not fashionably - but I perceive (rightly or wrongly) that most NT gays are hyper-attentive to their looks & clothing. For my part, once I found a look that I'm comfortable with, I've had no desire to morph into something else. I mean, I kind of took a liking to having my hair long, but that just seems so out with the gay scene today. Also, though I care about my weight & physical health, I've never been keen on lifting weights & then staring at myself in the mirror - it just bores me to tears.

I've sometimes joked that maybe I'm a lesbian trapped in a gay dude's body. But that's just getting back to the same old stereotypes. If there's one thing I think all of us can agree on, it's that gender & sexual stereotypes really suck.

really a ban so quickly I've said some pretty nasty things here can I have one to

You offered me a suspension If I recall correctly how long ?

as long as you want.

I think there is some truth behind this... My entire life people have said I look like a girl/girly. And honestly, I look a little sexually ambiguous. It has nothing to do with the way I dress or anything, it's just my face.

Well gender stereotypes are irrelevant to us...honestly I prefer wearing dresses and skirts for comfortability and jeans and t shirts with flannel for outdoors...

Overall most just assume I'm geeky...and I kinda am past playing guitar. And I am far from overly masculine, I have traits of both gender roles as do all of us, and I am quite balanced with more in masculinity.

Most are surprised that I'm bisexual, and I prefer men over women.

It's because Asperger's makes it difficult for people to fit into the gender roles, I believe. Because doing that means you have to have an awareness of what you have to DO to look like a woman or a man. Or whatever... I don't think it's something they are, but they just do not join in the gender binary play that other people engage in.

Gay people: we look like everyone else.

Aspies: we look like everyone else.

Since gay people and aspies both look like everyone else, they must, ipso facto look like each other.

q.e.d.

For my next trick I will prove that black is white, so I recommend steering clear of crosswalks.

lol i have to admit i generally do think most aspie guys are gay even thought my boyfriend is an aspie htey tedn to lack masculinity , be very sensitive and jsut dont have alot of the qualtiies a women is naturally attracted to when she is looking for a mate

you will very rarely see and aspie male who fits into the alpha male persona

lol for some reason, people always ask me if I'm gay. I say yes, and they say something along the lines of "Oh! It all makes sense now lol!"
So.... Yeah.

I f*****g hope not, otherwise I will become housebound and never come out.

I look "gay" sometimes. I know that because women approach me quiet often.
Straight men rarely if ever think I'm gay or remark or approach me about that (the opposite seems to be true here). But that's not true for women, and I mean, lesbians.
I think it may be because of the way I dress or look (I have long hair, but short nails, no make up and dress a little bit tomboyish ....think Ellen Page or Kristen Stewart but with no make up).

But that leads me to the question is your clothing style or appearance really that important?
I've read a scientific article how the famous "gaydar" is accurate (more or less), at least for gay men. But I don't know about women (given that their sexuality isn't always that set in stone or a one-way street)....
I've been mistaken for being gay fairly often by gay women.....so that's where I think it might be the appearance as in clothing? (Or if I take an arrogant point of view: maybe I just look appealing to them?).

Are there any scientific studies about clothing or at least "gaydars" and women?

AS people may be more oblivious to cultural norms in appearance which make them not take into account certain things which socially aware people would take into account (and although it's not really important or it shouldn't be defining: it being your appearance, mannerisms or intonation..etc.; it seems to be culturo-sexually defining quiet often).

I'm a gay aspie. And I seriously have or do most of the stereotypes. I tend to have so many fantasies of my guy friends and the people who I have crushes on. Gay or not. As great as it is though, it's best not to assume until they confirm their gayness.

Definitely some interesting topics in this sub forum. Can any actually tell me what "gay" looks like? Outside of the obvious flamboyant gayness. What is it that activates the blips on gaydar? I am married with a couple kids so I guess that makes me straight but I am curious as I have been asked a couple times in my life if I am gay. I just said sorry I'm straight. Would that be a normal answer for a NT straight male. it seem there are several reference that say the reaction should be far more ... I don't know? something...

I've been asked if I was gay before, one time stemming from one of my senior photos that was really effeminate. I'm also really androgynous so I naturally get the "gay" question thrown at me often.

It questions masculinity