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kc8ufv
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10 Apr 2011, 8:11 am

About a week ago, I met a really nice gay guy. I am hoping to get in a long term relationship with him. Unfortunately, he seems scared because I'm bi. He's afraid I'd either fool around with a girl, or break up with him for a girl. I fail to see the difference between that, and him fooling around with, or breaking up with me for another guy. Any idea how to get him to understand bisexuality/pansexuality =/= polyamory?



Louise18
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10 Apr 2011, 8:19 am

Apart from pointing that out, I don't know. If you have a relationship history of not doing that, that would be a good start. I am bi, but my shortest relationship was a year (he cheated on me), I have never cheated on a partner or left one partner for another one and I am only interested in monogamy. If your relationship history is similar, that might persuade him you are serious.



kc8ufv
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10 Apr 2011, 8:23 am

I'm not certain if that will be an easy tactic, as both of my long term relationships were with females, the shorter relationships were cutoff by the other person.



MasterJedi
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10 Apr 2011, 8:45 am

point out how many of us bi/pans are married or in a committed relationship. Part of a sharing relationship is trust. Me, for example; I'm married and wouldn't cheat on her.


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11 Apr 2011, 12:48 pm

All successful relationships that I know are predicated on two things: 1) communication and 2) adaptability.

My partner and I have been together for 20 years. When we started out, our relationship was closed and we made a deliberate decision that it would be so. Over the years our relationship has changed, but these changes have always been based on deliberate choices that have been the result of communication.

So, with this man, I think you need to keep communicating the message that, "If we decide this relationship is closed, then it's closed. End of statement."


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nick007
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12 Apr 2011, 2:49 am

He could be worried because some(NOT most) bisexuals use bisexuality as an excuse to date two people at the same time sense both people are different sexes; that is a certain stereotype. Instead of insisting that you are not like his assumptions; I think you should take things slowly for a while; & he might feel more secure after you guys get closer & he knows you more. Don't tell him; show him


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